Friday, April 28, 2006


Do you know what a copywriter really does at work?

Well, besides 'snaking', WE do really have REAL work to do...

Because Copywriting is a 'Creative' job, there's no telling us whether we should work on this for 2 hours, or whether we should work on that for 4 hours. We could get an idea from watching the tele, we could get an idea from books, references or a billboard. But because of the Malaysian working culture, we're asked to slog inside the office, and do our 'research' online.

The Internet is indeed a very large library filled with very useful or rather useless information floating around. But unfortunately, the merger between print advertising and e-advertising is still in no way going to converge together. E-advertising is stupid. It's just impressive and it gives you the impact. Like pop-up windows...

Well, what we do at the office has a lot to do with coming up with a great line to convey our product's best feature.

But then hor... The Ah Bengs of a Client hor... Seriously... However good the copywriter is, however good your product is, however creative your art director is, IF YOU DO NOT HAVE AN ENGLISH EDUCATED MARKETING MANAGER, your product's advertising will end up 'VDAB' (Very de Ah Beng).

Well, to me, I think that advertising is only as good as its lowest denominator. Depending on your marketing manager, you normally would set a rough audience dynamics.

If you're doing something uptown, that'll mean you're talking to the fella who went through Kindergarten, Primary School, High School, Pre-U, College, and in the end twin to a Uni in Aussie and come back speaking and writing English that only Doctorates understand. That's because the common man with a medium grasp on the English language wouldn't know what the fella wants to say by 'I appreciated that you sent me this file asap, preferably by tomorrow morning'. For this type of 'English Educated' Malaysians, it's easy. At least they know how to read between the lines. Give them a few LoooOOooong words like 'Exquisite' or 'Executively Exclusive' or 'Enclave', you'll sell your product eventhough they won't ever know what the words meant. For example: 'Prestigious Condominium - Your Exquisite, Executive Enclave'. They will love it although it means nothing, doesn't make any grammatical sense, and just sounds 'Expensive'.

But if you're advertising for a mass market product like rice or toothpaste for that matter, the lowest denominator means the fella who didn't do too well in Kindergarten, struggled through Primary School, and dropped out somewhere between Form 1 and Form 3. For these kind of products, you don't even try to be creative. Creative a bit, the Marketing Manager will say that their clients won't understand, because they don't understand what you're trying to do. Even if you came up with a very good visual, concept is solid, headline's a bang, the fella will turn it into 'Buy this product and you will get this free gift'.

That's still ok.

Enter the client who tells you, I want to SHOUT that we are having this promo whereby most of our out-going stocks will be sold at 70% Discount. But I want it to look 'Grand'. Like, what do you even mean??? You want a BIG BIG 70% OFF as your headline but you want you sub-head to be 'For the Fine and Exquisite Lifestyle that You've Always Wanted'??
Idiots... Where got Promo Ad that looks Exquisite one?? Ever heard of a Paradox??

Pay a Cheap Price for The Expensive Lifestyle?

Again, I would like to thanks & valued your co-operation and kindnesses.

Thursday, April 27, 2006


It's only 10am and I'm tired...

Well, my day started at 2.30am just now... hehehehe... Slept at 10.30pm and woke up early to watch a game of footie. Yes, yes, I'm a fanatic...

Well, it's not that I purposely woke up to watch it on my own, it's more of, since someone is watching, and it's conveniently on terestrial tv, I joined in... hehehe

Well, I'm suffering from the consequences. Straight after the match, I sent my girlfriend's parents up to the airport. So... The day started at 2.30am for me. Come to think of it, I have been awake for a good 8 hours now. I should be having my afternoon tea right now if we calculate time using such a formulae.

That's it for today guys, I'm in for a nap on the office sofa... muahahahahah



All of a sudden, I am not sleepy anymore...


My eyes are wide awake, but my mind refuses to churn out logical thoughts. I'm so gonna be in trouble later in the day... I just hope there won't be any massive copy checks today...

I'm like in this semi-conscious state. I have stuff to do, but can't be bothered to crank up the pump in my brain, and the 'Procrastinate' light is blinking furiously in the back of my head.


Wednesday, April 26, 2006

chaos, chaotic, chaoticism..


My mind's all over the place right now...

Will blog later... When i find the 'inner peace'... hehehehehe

Until then, if you want some mental stimulation, or some pure folly, go read some of my links...

I'll be back...


Rats!!! I just realised that I am now officially on the downhill slope... It took me a good 5 days to register that I am now officially on my way to 'adulthood'. I AM 25 YEARS OLD.... *WAILS*

Whao... that was a realisation...

From now on, my body's cells will only be able to regenerate itself at a 'maintaining' rate. I will not grow any taller, fatter maybe, but not taller... I wonder why... I have 'officially' stopped growing. I just hope that doesn't apply to my brain cells. If my brain is on maintenance mode, this is all I will learn... ARGGHHHH!!!! NO!!!!


Tuesday, April 25, 2006

I may be Sick...

I mean, one o the things that ads can do to you is mak eyou feel sick.

I'm talking about ads for health products. They will highlight a certain point in your body, or over-extrapolate some symptom and tell you there's something wrong with you. And our mindset is that, if my body isn't working perfectly, I need help!

Well, if you really sit down and think about it, your body is indeed a perfect machine, with your organs and limbs working in synch with each other to keep you going. But then, certain things in your body is a regenerative source that will slowly disintegrate with use. Wear and tear, and accidents that render a certain part slightly damaged. Too bad our bodies didn't come with a operation manual and spare parts. Well, scientists are trying to make spare parts out of some stem cells, but that's just that - in the future, perhaps, we can buy spare parts, and we can change/maintain/service our bodies like we're doing to our car.

Well, the problem with 'perfection' is a weird thing. Everyone has their own ideals and ideas of what perfection should consist of. I might think that perfection is me, lying down on a beach in the Bahamas, sipping a cold drink, with an interesting book by mny side. Others might think that perfection means lying in bed with a couple of beautiful girls by their side. Whilst others might think that the perfect life consists of a loving husband, a caring wife and two kids in a homey country house. (Now why did I come up with unrelated examples for my argument?)

Ok... think about this. If you are feeling well, and you don't feel bad about your body, except for a little bit of fat here and there, then chances are, you're doing fine. But if you're constantly tired even after you've had enough sleep for the past two weeks, then probably there's something wrong with you. If you're a little sick here and there, it's ok, because our bodies, are not built for eternity. But you do need to get yourself checked if you have reccuring problems with your body.

However, we shouldn't be too cautious until we cannot live freely. When it comes to health, there are two schools of thought. One would be to live life as it comes, knowing that your body will act and react according to where you are and what you do. If you constantly expose yourself to drinking river water, your stomach will get used to it. The bacteria, the minerals, they all will go through the system inside your body, and your body wil learn to deal with it.

The other one of course, is that we must protect whatever goes into our system so that we 'get a better life'. But let me tell you one truth. If you've trained your body hard, then it will be hard. Potentially, wear and tear will be greater, but we will be able to see more things and experience more things. But if we protect our bodies too much, then it'll go soft. Take water for example, since we can't live without drinking water. If you've gotten used to drinking sterilised/treated water, your stomach will not ever be able to take raw water. I've been on a trip before, and I see this lady hauling her 'water filter' along with her to her vacation! It's like, will she be able to take it along with her if she went to Europe for a holiday?

So, in the end, I think, we shouldn't over rely on whatever is advertised as a 'better lifestyle' or 'health products'...

Afterall, our health/bodies are a perfect machine whatever you put into it. It is a living organism, and that is the difference between us and a car. We will adapt to our surroundings... the car... is built to outperform the elements...

ah well.. that was a long rant...

I don't blame you if you didn't read this... ahahahahaha

Monday, April 24, 2006

Monday Complications...

I just hate the feeling when I make a mistake at work...

And the difference could be just a Capital 'i' that was over looked. I mean, Talk about pressure and the need to keep oneself awake and alert throughout the whole day. It's just like goal keeping. your team could be pressing the other team's goal and the ball never leaves the opposition's half and then suddenly, you're in for a counter-attack!

It's just difficult.

I mean, if I make a mistake, if I slack, I will cause the company losses. The pressure is immense. But the bosses have been good. I wonder how long will this sustain. I mean, it's difficult when you have 3-4 designers after your neck when they need to rush things out, and sometimes, the checking is tremendous; 12-page leaflets, 1,500 words of a 8-fold brochure... you know the lot...

And then, the designers don't really help in a sense that they make so many typos and 'space errors' and the most importantly, I don't have access to the details whereby the changes were made. I would like to know more about it, but then, information sometimes just comes in via word-of-mouth. I can't check on every designer's work, and I can't be alert the whole day, or whenever my 'checking' services are called upon.

I can have the entire day snaking around, with only 1 or 2 lines to write, and then suddenly, at 5pm, I've got loads to check.

And 1 small mistake, and the whole set of films needs to be changed.

I seriously need help in this. Sigh...

I wonder if I would get called to interviews any time soon. Sigh...

Friday, April 21, 2006

Dedication to this Day...

Since I've got some extra time on my hands, hehehehe... I'll do a Birthday Dedication to myself... Oh forgive me, I am king for a day today (but I'll be sharing the throne with a certain Mr. Johns) and I get to do what ever my vain self likes... muahahahaha


Life has been an interesting journey for me so far. It's filled with ups and downs, stagnant salaries, non-productive moments, chaos, having had loved and having lost love, having found life, living an abundant life filled with both blessings and calamities.

I guess that all-in-all, at the very end, I would have to say that I am rather satisfied with what I have now. But I still aim for more.

It's true that one never stops learning throughout life, and I am only a quarter of my way through the journey. But then, I might not stay that long... I would say I've used up one-third of my allocated time on earth... hehehehe...

It's both saddening and enlightening at the same time when you realise that you only live once, and you can only know as much during your time. We can only see that much, learn that much, experience that much with our limited time. But the pursuit of knowledge, formal or informal, is something that has been always on my mind. However, I, like the rest of you, only have 24 hours a day.

Then there are a lot of things that I do like to thank God for. The life that I live, the friends beside me, you guys, Flora, my family, and my biggest critiques who keep me in check all the time. These are the most important things that I feel I should keep close to me.

Other things of material value, is immaterial when you really look into it.

Life... like time, passes whether you choose to live it or not. It's one of those things in life that we are not given a choice.

So, I would like to think that most of us would choose to live life as best as we could, learn as much as we possibly can, experience more new things, and see the world.

But then, I am already bogged-down by responsibilities from all sides. It's a melanchollic moment this 25th Birthday... In a sense, success could possibly measured by the things we have, material or eternal... But then, do we really need success in this sense?

Me, I would like to live for the things of eternal value like friendship, love, and trust. But then, I cannot have all these without some material wealth to house these things in.

Life's a funny thing. In the end, all we get is a box of chocolates...

Cross Roads on My 25th Anniversary

Yes, for those who haven't known, today is the day I celebrate my 25th Anniversary as a person.

And maybe, just maybe I shouldn't have peeked into the classifieds section of the morning paper I was reading at the coffee shop.

I find myself standing at a fork junction with my left foot half on the road leading to the left, and my right foot pulling me to the right. Ouch baby... Very Very Ouch...

Remember I was looking at crossing over to the dark side?

Well, suddenly I saw the force calling me back. And I would like to give it a try.

I don't know... sigh...

Suddenly, I saw this recruitment ad for a copywriter. And after speaking to a friend of mine, my old A.D., I think maybe I deserve a second chance. Maybe copywriting as a career deserves a second chance...

ARGGHHH... I'm not sure...

The same time last year, I was facing the same thing. I threw in my resignation letter a few days after the office guys celebrated my birthday with a cake... I just hope this year, that won't be the case...


Maybe I'll just flip a coin...

Thursday, April 20, 2006

A visit from a Fairy...

No, not the Kinky Blue Fairy...

But it's weird how small this world is.

I was a freshie back then, just out of Uni, and as all Freshies do, I sent out resumes to all the addresses that I can find in hope that I will land myself an interview. And so, one fine day, I was browsing the papers for my first job and there was this particular agency that came up with quite a good recruitment ad. I still remember the words. "Copywriter with backbone still attached". So I gave them a call, and I was on my way for an interview within 2 hours. And after a week or so, I landed myself my first job. As easy as that.

Well, before that, I have already sent out numerous letters and emails asking for an interview. I think I went for 6 interviews before I landed my first job. A few of them were in far-away places, and a couple of them had some Multi-Level-Marketing company as their main client well, both of them had the same client in fact. That was a weird situation.. I went to this agency, and they told me that the bulk of their work is doing this leaflet that comes out monthly for this MLM's members. Then I went for another interview somewhere else two days later, and the fellas showed me the same leaflet and said that they were their main clients... de ja vu in the weirdest sense... but that's another story...

So back to the fairy, if you still remember that this post is about the fairy. The Fairy was my 7th interview.

(But then you said you got your job within 6 interviews!!)

Yes, my 7th interview.

Well, the whole story unfolded like this. I just signed my offer letter a few days ago, and then this agency, which I sent my resume via snail mail, called me up and asked me to go down to Bangsar for an interview. I told the girl on the other side of the line that I've just signed my Offer Letter, but she asked me to go meet her anyway. So, since I still have yet to start work, and I had time to burn, I went down to meet these people.

It was the weirdest interview ever. I went into the room knowing full well that I will not be accepting anything from her, and she will not be offering me anything. So we talked. No intentions of me working for her, and she had no intentions of hiring me. But it was an enlightenment no less.

It went well, considering the circumstances and in the end, she said something along the lines of, "If you hadn't got yourself a job, I would've offered you something, and we could see how things have gone." But that's just that. I had too much integrity in me to back-off from my word to the first agency, and we left each other just like that. A meeting of two minds. Nothing more, nothing less

Well, she did inspire me. I went home and checked her work out and found out that she was indeed very, very good.

Now looking back, if only I had gone under her wings when I had the chance almost 2 years ago. I would be a totally different copywriter, and that would've set my direction properly in this industry. Now thinking of it, I can't help but feel slightly regretful I didn't ditch the first one and went for her agency.

Now, the window of opportunity has closed, and I am walking on a different road. "Time, it passes, it does not stand still" (Jonathan Tse; Purpose; 2005), and there's no going back.

But suddenly, I find her visiting my blog... I mean I found her blog by accident, and only knew that it was her after leaving a comment in a post of hers.

Well, that's that then.

It was a case of "If Only"... Nothing more, nothing less...

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

A New Dawn...

Work like there's no tomorrow...

And live life like you don't care...

I feel that my life has been given a sudden boost and there's new hope.

Well, I only hope that this hope will materialise into something that I hoped would happen. Lest it becomes a false hope which will bring me back into hopelessness.

Wah.. I just stringed a 'Hope' line... ahahahahahha

Now... All I can do is to wait for the calls...


Latest Update:

They just managed to hire an admin girl. Impromptu somemore...

The poor girl won't even know it until its too late...

She came in for an interview, they made an offer straight away. Apparently, she's supposed to start work somewhere else tomorrow... And the bosses are desparate enough...

So as of tomorrow, after the briefing and all, I will no longer need to pick up calls, dodge clients, and do doorman duties.

Morale has been low at the office (for me only). And I am coming in with a 'tidak-apa' (Whatever) attitude. I am surfing the net for stuff like Guitars, and other shit, doing my internet banking, emails, chatting, and all the sort evern when the boss is walking around. Whereas my colleagues are slugging it out with their designs. And the best part is, the copys are in Mandarin... So jobs are there, and it doesn't even concern me one bit.

I'm on my 'Whatever-lah' mind set and tht's because I know that my tenure at this place is near. I am a goner. So for those who have been so good to me as to keep reading my virtual-cyber crap, I think it is safe to say that as and when I do leave this agency, I won't have much time to blog anymore. I'll be moving to a more 'interesting and challenging' working atmosphere... Hopefully...

I only pray that God will send me to a place where I can still remain active in church.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Good News...

After a few days of mild depression,

The news finally broke.

I have got my resumes into two of the targeted companies I want to work for. Well, I have 1 particular company in mind, and the other's just a 'just-in-case' cum 'see-how-things-go' kinda option.

BEAMS *I know... only bimbos 'BEAM'... * Can't I enjoy a bimbotic moment?

Well, that's it... Just my resume in the hands of a few people who could determine my fate for the next few years at least. If I get into my first choice company, and I like the job, I'll stay for a long time.. (But then, that's what I've been saying all this while.) Now I'm waiting for them to call me in for interviews.

Seriously, I've been job hopping for long enough already.

I am seriously thinking of this Marketing & Communications job and I do think that I would like it. I mean, I don't know... sigh...

If you've been following me (gosh that my second time saying this phrase today in this blog) for quite some time, you'd know that I am going to conduct a 'Creative Writing' workshop in a church camp. It's going to be fun in a sense. The whole worshop thing is to get the campers (who are mostly college students) to chase their dreams. And this platform is provided to them so that they can get a little bit more insight in what they can and should expect when they come out to work. Living in an Asian community, almost everyone's parents, for the past 20million years, have always wanted their children to study some big-titled degree programme so that they can graduate and later become a doctor, lawyer or an engineer. It's like other jobs aren't 'real' jobs. But what if the kid's passion is in Art?? or in Marine Biology?

So, this is to help the young people realise what their dreams are, and give them a rough idea of how to achieve them.

And now, I find myself walking out of what seemed to be my dream 2 years ago...

It's saddening... and slightly apalling that I was one of those who came out of the hatchery of a university having a game plan on my mind, and now, I turn to the left and to the right? trying to dodge bullets? or trying to join another war somewhere else?

Dreams and fantasies change. We change. Everybody changes.

I just hope mine's changing for the better.

Receptionist: Ungodly???

What is sin?

Sin in the definition of the religious would be something that makes God sad.

To those who deny God, it'll be something that can be defined by the law as 'unlawful'.

For those who believe in Karma, it's something that is bad so that the good in this world is balanced up, m'kay.

For the unreligious, it is not an issue, as long as nobody gets hurt.

Well, to me, and I think to a general extent, people look at telling a lie as sinning. Ask any parent. The disappointment they feel when they realise that they have been lied to for the first time by their children hurts the most.

So if that is the case, then, one of the most sinful people on earth would be the office receptionist!

Every sensible boss hires a receptionist. Why?? Because the receptionist will help filter those unwanted phone calls that comes through. I have already got ten jobs and issues on my hands and the situation doesn't get any better. And there's this guy who constantly calls up to ask me whether I would like to buy this water filter??? Heck I'm not going to have the time to take down this guy's message and call him back. That's why I hire a receptionist!!

If you've followed this blog for quite some time, you'd remember that I am the office floor mat and dumpster. I do everything else in the office from taking calls and writing stuff, and other shitty add-ons that my bosses get for the entire package of my monthly remuneration.

Well, this issue came up when I was asked by my boss to tell a lie. "In case this Julia calls me, tell her he's on MC".

So, Julia did call... and I lied... Well, I followed my orders...

And this is just a small episode in my life as a stand-in receptionist for 2 months. And we seem to be failing in the 'hiring' department. No one wants to come work with us. I wonder why.

Well, I think I know why.. and that reason is the exact reason why I'm not planning on staying here either. I wonder if my bosses know it...

But coming back to the case. Lying comes as part and parcel of being a receptionist. It's a small lie to protect the boss, no one gets hurt (well maybe except the guy who got lied to), there aren't any reprecussions that you will need to pay, your boss didn't want to hear the fella's voice either, so you were just doing your job. That's what you're partially paid to do in the office. Screen calls, take down messages, sign receipt acknowledgements and the like.

But then, you have the freedom to speak-up and against this. You have the right to not follow your orders. Afterall, we're given freewill to determine our own course on life.

So, would you? If your boss asked you to tell a white lie, would you?

Feels Like Chocolate...

I'm in a better mood this morning.

Maybe it was the chocolate, and cheese that I had in abundance yesterday.

April seems to be a month of Birthdays. I have friends here and there whose birthdays are always around these two-three weeks. Sheesh...

I've been slugging-in tonnes and tonnes of cakes lately. Birthday cakes, casual cakes, secret recipe cakes and cakes and cakes!! I'm developing a thing for cakes. And it's not good for the carb-free diet that I'm trying to start... ehehehehe.. I know... I've been trying to start the carb-diet thing for a few weeks now... hehehehe...

Marriages are also on the menu or today, as friends and family members are getting more and more into the business of marrying and the sort. Love is in the air, or it has been suspending in the air for quite some time now... Couples who have been together for some time now, couples who's just met, and couples who's about to start dating... Whao... 'Tis the season of love eh?

So would you like to order now? Sir?

Monday, April 17, 2006

Heavy Head, Droopy Eyes

I am still suffering from a lack of sleep from a caffeine overdose last night.

Well, I should have known better than to visit Starbucks for a Grande at 9pm... hehehehehe... But the conversation and get-together with my Uni-mates was fun and enlightening to say the least.

It seems that everyone is getting somewhere in life except me, and another girl, who chose to live life free.

Peer pressure is not a pretty thing.

Well, peer pressure is ONE thing, but it's not the ONLY thing. I mean, I do feel the pressure that my friends around me are getting somewhere in life and I'm stuck here, getting no where. I take it as a wake up call. I need to seriously think about this. I mean, It's not everyday that I get a feeling that I want to change industries, but with regards to my current situation, I think I need to seriously re-think this entire she-bang of copywriting.

Demented, Dejected, and Destabilised.

I had a topic...

But I'm brain dead right now...

I just hate it when blogging comes to this...


Oh... I'm in a semi-brain dead mode because I went out with my ex-classmates from Uni last night. We went for dinner, and proceeded to Starbucks for a little chat. Man, that proved to be decisive, turning point for me. I reached home eyes wide open, and proceeded to help my girlfriend with some menial task until 2am. Didn't feel a thing...

Now, I feel as if my head is twice as heavy, but only half my brain is working.


On an unrelated matter, I'll be going to sleep in a while...

Friday, April 14, 2006


Good things come in packs of 10's...

So here's a little check-list to see if you need a new job...

1. You sit in front of your computer looking at other people's blogs (over and over again hoping they'll post something up every 5 minutes)
2. You go into your boss's room, ask for a raise, but have nothing to justify it by because they never give you enough jobs to do
3. You can almost feel your already numb butt (result of sitting on your chair too long)
4. 30 minutes of actual time feels like an eternity
5. You frequently find yourself clicking 'Random Article' on Wikipedia
6. You occasionally find yourself clicking 'Next Blog' on Blogger
7. You google yourself, hoping to find another person with the same name that lives on the other side of the world
8. Your MSN Msger buddies ignore your 'Hello, free to chat?' for the 1,054,739,271,323rd time
9. You know what time your favourite homepage is updated daily
10. You keep hitting the same site trying to figure the exact time when they post something up.

If you are suffering from the above symptoms, I reckon you get ready your resignation letter soon.

Media Paradox

A person can't say anything right on the mass media nowadays.

Anything that you can say on tv that is negative would be deemed offensive to a certain segment of the public.

Tiger Woods said he putted like a 'spaz' with regards to his under-performance on the putting greens and he had to retract his comment because it was degrading towards the public living half way across the globe all over in the UK???

Like it's the media that wants to make personalities talk, and when they talk about something bad, it's considered degrading towards a certain segment of the audience?

Like can't I call myself stupid for doing something stupid anymore? Like if I said that I was so stupid to have done that, and I would be degrading all the stupid people in this world?

Sheesh... And the media would say that you're a snob if you don't talk to them...

What's wrong with this world?

Black Friday

Well, It's supposed to be 'Good Friday'...

Erm... It is Good Friday...

Want to know why this particular Friday is Good? Go to and find out... ahahahahahah

As for today, it's just another day at work. Although there's renewed hope in getting myself a job in a different industry (for all the previous attempts have proved futile), there's not much hope in everything else. Well, Life's been a drag for me lately, and it's not only because of the work that I do, but the things that are happening around me. Is there no cure for this??

I feel that I've wasted my time here in this company for the last 6 months or so. I've been doing the same things, sometimes, heck I don't even need to write. We use back the same old copy for a repeat campaign. I really wonder why I am stil getting paid. And I don't feel that my contributions warrant a pay raise, even if I went into the boss' room and asked for one.

It's bleak, it's hopeless, and it's depressing.

My job is to sit around and wait for the next job to come by. The bosses don't complain much because having me sit here, and be available at any given time during office hours is so much better than waiting 2 working days for a free-lancer to come back with a paragraph for a little amendment.

Well, maybe I'm buckling under pressure. I need progress and I need a job where I can excel in. Not this sitting around for much of the day, and pretend to be productive. The days have been long recently, and it's not the long office hours, but the drag of looking at the clock and find that it's only moved 30 minutes when it's felt like 2 hours.

I need a bigger salary, and I need an environment that will allow me that. And also job satisfaction. And security. I mean, this little company that I work for currently, however good the bosses are, has the potential to fold its operations at any given time. Then what? I have nothing to my name in terms of portfolios, and we don't do creative work. We just design. I am merely here to 'put in' copy wherever deemed necessary. Even if I asked for a raise, the bosses will ask me how do I justify that? I mean, they hired me because I came in cheap. Well, that's one thing. But I have been here for 6 months and I see no progress in my situation. No development. Just the same old work. I am 25 years old for pete's sake!! I am not prepared to settle just yet with a menial job, go to the office, and work on the same stuff everyday, if ever there's something to be worked at...

I'm just incoherantly ranting here...

Leave me...



This' just in...

I am now officially asked to stand in a 'while longer' for the receptionist and admin girl. Yes.. we got stood up again... AND THAT MEANS, MORE ANSWERING MACHINE DUTIES FOR ME!!!


Thursday, April 13, 2006


Like most things in life, Patriotism does not pay the bills.

Just take a look at the world right now. Most politicians don't 'serve' the country, they serve their own pockets!!! And as a side effect, 'By The Way' thing, help out the dearly poor.

Politicians nowadays are just businessmen who make the rules as they go along. Everyone's up to protecting their own asses and making sure that they don't get back-stabbed.

I am a bit baffled by this court case that has gain popularity (notority) among the nation right now. Apparently, the verdict is coming out today; "Can Malaysians Hold Hands/Embrace Each Other Publicly?"

Like what's their problem?

Whatever happened to Human Rights? Freedom of Expression? Freedom of Religion? Liberalisation? The K-Ecomony? Moral Values?

Why would a little show of PDA (Public Display of Affection, Noobs) create such an uproar???

I don't want to be walking around with my wife, hand-in-hand, sometimes hugging her a bit, and suddenly out of no where, we're slapped with a fine for being Overtly Intimate in Public!!! What are we supposed to do? We're told to work hard at our marriage, and affection is a major part of a husband & wife relationship!! If the couple don't show affection to one another, then chances are, the marriage will end up in divorce.

Like what's wrong with Malaysians!!!???? What's wrong with the Police Force? AND WHAT'S THIS DOUBLE STANDARD OF A SYARIAH LAW!!!????? AND who gives the Religious Department any right to meddle in our everyday lives? I'm not even bound by your laws for crying out loud!!!! It's like, you have your syariah laws to govern your lives, but that doesn't mean that we have to suffer any over spills!!!???

This is just shitty... This just highlights the Government's Flaws in educating the younger generation. Scientific improvement, technological advancement, ground breaking marketing strategies that work, all that!!! FOR NOTHING!!!

You can't stop the flow of information around the world today. And thus, you can't just close your eyes to what other people in the world is doing right now. You can't stop the liberalisation movement that's sweeping the entire world today. The only thing you can do is to equip your people in the right way as how to handle this kind of issues. You can't stop the youth of today from doing anything. Not by law, not by force. Change (REAL CHANGE) starts from the reformation of the heart.

What the education system has failed to teach us is how to be a human being. What's the use of getting the most A's in your government exams if you are not taught how to think?? You think the Government doesn't knows about this?? They aren't stupid. They're just ignorant!

That's why I say, the Parliament is filled with businessmen who are more concerned about what car they are going to buy next and what else will make them look good rather than those who would really die for their country. I seriously wonder, if one day, Malaysia gets invaded, how many of these politicians will skip the bucket and 'migrate' somewhere else when Malaysia gets invaded by some other country.

So, if our leaders patriotism is a theatrical show (and we all know it's true) how can they expect the people would want to serve their country to their death?

Get a life...

AND STOP FINING PEOPLE for a little PDA... It's not like they're having sex in the middle of the park or something...

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Double Rats!!!

I slept, and I woke up two minutes later!!!

Well, at least it felt that way... I am washed out, drained of my energy and I want sleep.

Somehow, the Holiday yesterday didn't felt anything remotely close to a day of rest... And I'm feeling it physically...

Well, it's another sluggish day at the office for me then...

Will probably post more when my brain decides to start functioning.


Speaking of addendums...

My brain decided to wake up, albeit momentarily...

Well, I was in church the other day and the preacher gave me a wake-up call of sorts.

We live in a 'fast' world nowadays. Everything that we do must be fast. Eat fast, breathe fast, drive fast, communicate fast, talk fast, everything FAST-FAST-FAST!!!!

Well, talking about being fast this and that, I was just offered 'help' in getting into a rather FAST moving job. I wonder if I should take the challenge. I mean, I've had people telling me all sorts of things with regards to "I think you'll do well in this job, or that one..." But seriously, I wouldn't like to hasten my departure with a fast heart seizure...

I do have to tell you that if I die some day, out of nothing, there would be only two things that will kill me in this world; An Accident, or a Heart Attack!!!

I've been weak at the heart since I was young. My stamina has never been great, and although I have a rather large lung capacity (my rib cage is freaking huge ok), I have never really been good with stamina, nor underwater stunts. So, it's a 'birth defect' if you want to look at it like that... But I would say that it is indeed a form of disadvantage.

I've had doctors telling me the same things... that my heart is weak... So...

Well, coming back to this fast thing, I seriously wonder where the world is heading. If everything was 'fast' and all... I mean, nowadays, everything in the economy is a Fast Moving Consumer Good. And because we are constantly in the FMCG loop, we need to work faster. And sometimes, this means longer working hours just to get something done fast. The bosses knows that it could be done tonight if only you would pull a few strings and they know that they can demand it. Afterall, they want fast profits.

But has anyone ever stopped to think wait a minute... What will I get out of this mad mad rush?

Today's 'Fast Economy' has landed us with crazy working hours, endless hours on the phone trying to call this or that supplier, little time to rest, and a life that isn't really a life at all.

I mean, what's all this for? The working conditions of today is as such that we can only have REAL rest when there's a problem with our health! Once we are still on the clear side of health, we will work and work and work until we are run down and dying.

How many times have we met with people who turned down an appointment / dinner date with an old friend because he or she is working late??

Ever since I've started working, I have not for once been able to promise a friend that 'Yes, I'll join you for dinner tonight'. It's always, "I'll give you a call as and when I leave the office." And once of this, twice, thrice, and the friend no longer calls you for dinner anymore.

So we work our asses off during the week, and during the weekends, we spend the whole 48 hours of Saturday and Sunday to catch up with our non-existant social life. Heck, some people would fill that with some thrifty Multi-Level-Marketing seminars and shit like that.

Work while you can... Do all you can... Step-up to every challenge... and die from working too hard?

Is that what you want?

Monday, April 10, 2006

Still sick..


The miracle was that I still got to sing on Sunday, which is a miracle indeed because I came down with a sore throat on Wednesday night... Normally it takes a good 2 weeks for me to be able to flex my vocal muscles. Well... Grace of God maybe?

But then, the flu is slowly but surely kicking in. A little lack in Vitamin-C, and I'll be gushing like a broken pipe. My nose I mean... Don't let your fickle mind wander elsewhere...

Well, the good news is, I'm stil able to come to work, but the bad news is, tomorrow is a holiday and it sucks to have to come back on a Monday, waiting for a public holiday on Tuesday... Like can't we have the Monday off?? and come work on Tuesday? sigh...

But overall, my weekend was rather nice... hehehe..

Friday, April 07, 2006


The weekend crept up on me AGAIN!!!!


Still sickish...

Well, the good news is, I've been pumping in Vitamin-C's into my system and the flu's gonna be under curbs, hopefully. But the sore-throat is still taking its time to bloom. I've been chaining on Strepsils since yesterday, no make it the night before...


Life's hard...

I mean, I am trying so hard to find a job elsewhere, but yet, futile...


What does a man need to do to get a job? I mean... argghh... never mind...

Let me be... I feel like I want to feel depressed.

hahahaha... Yes, depression is a choice... ahahaha

You don't put the name depression to it, you'll say that you're just feeling tired and down. But once you name it depression, you play the game according to depressive rules.

So... I'm just feeling down...

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Why do they do it??

I mean, my agency (the agency that I work for, not own) has been looking for an Admin Clerk since eons ago... And I've been the designated office answering machine cum copywriter, cum mock-up artist, cum water dispenser maintenance, cum office punching bag.

Well, there was a girl that's supposed to have come in the first Monday of this month, but she called in to say that she met with a family disaster and had to go home to her hometown to be with the family, FOREVAR!!! Like we believe her... ahahaha She actually signed the offer letter and shit, and we waited for her for an entire month!!! Apparently, she needed to give 1 month's notice to her current employers... Now, we get stood-up... Lucky me... I get to answer more phones!!! Yea!!!

So we're in this mess. We're desparate. The bosses are desparate, and I'm am starting to get fed-up with all this shit that I've been doing around the office. However, life has to go on. But that's not the point.

Now, since we still have yet to fill in the post, we have restarted the entire ordeal of going through interviews.

So in came these two girls.

I mean, if you're a girl, alone, looking for a job at some dodgy company, going for an interview at an unfamiliar place could be quite a daunting predicament. So it's normal and acceptable that you bring along a friend to the interview venue. But this girl, and her girl friend, both entered the interview room!!! Like... WHAT WERE THEY THINKING??? I for one, if am boss, will not even take her into consideration as a shortlisted candidate... I mean, you can't spoil it anymore can't you? That is the ultimate show of 'NO CONFIDENCE'!!! What has your education taught you??? Go into the interview room with your friend? Like what?? She's gonna help you answer a few questions? Or you're so 'high-class' that someone speaks for you and on behalf of you?

Even when I opened the door (ah yes, I forgot, I am also the designated Bellboy) the one who spoke first was the friend, and not the interviewee.

Friend: "Oh we're here for an interview..."
Me: Oh OK, take a seat... I'll go get my boss...
Me: And YOU are?? (Me asking the interviewee the nature of her business here.)
Friend: Oh, she's here for the interview. I'm her friend.

*Boss comes into the frame...

Sheesh. She won't get a job anywhere that way... Low confidence... Like can't you answer anything yourself???

She is doomed.

Should've seen it coming...

I should have seen it...

Just when I thought I was invincible, I get sick! Darnit...

I've a sore throat, the flu's coming down (hope it's not gonna involve any birds) and coughing will start in t-5days.

Well, it's warranted as well. I haven't been sick for a good half a year now, and it's about time for my annual 'sick' period. I mean, I get the flu every once in a year or so. Twice if the conditions and elements are bad. But that's just about it when it comes to me and sicknesses.

Sigh... Just when I needed my health.

I'll be singing this Sunday and I just don't see myself healing fast enough to be able to keep my voice. I can barely make the right sounds with my vocal chords right now.

That's it.. I'm declaring a fast on speech. Well, at least for these two days. hehehehe...

So long now, leave me be. Let me die in my slow and uneventful sickening death...


Well, actually, I'm not prepared to die yet, and I'm not until that point yet. Well, that doesn't stop me from thinking... If I really was so sick that I would be lying down in bed, in a hospital, and waiting for God to take me, would I just leave peacefully, or would I give it a fight?

I mean, there's so much that I can do on earth, so much to achieve, and so much to see. But then, the more I see the sadder I become. The world is constantly changing, and yet, it's seldom for the better.

What have I achieved so far?

What have I contributed so far?

I was just reminded of the power of propaganda and the power of the mind. Ideas, unlike man, do not die. As long as there is still ONE SINGLE believer in an idea, it will continue. As long as there is still records of the idea, it will not dissipate.

hehehe... Watched V for Vendetta... and it is indeed a powerful movie. And that is what I call time well spent.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006


What am I doing here?

Will it help build my own legacy? Am I doing what I am predestined to do?

Is there any room for error in predestination?

I feel that I'm in a limbo between doing the right thing, and doing nothing at all. Whatever decision you make, it will inevitably disturb a balance in your life. Whether you stay, or move on, it dictates the finer details of your predestined future. Well, that's if you believe in predestination anyway.

I believe that we are born on earth for a reason, if not at least a purpose. And how we take upon that challenge seemingly dictates how we act, and what we do. There's also a reason why we do the things we do at our given point in life. My momma always tell me to live life without regrets. Try everything, and accomplish everything that you need to accomplish at your given time. For we only live once.

But then, there are certain things that require us to either stay, or move. Stay, and you lose the opportunity. Move and you might be taking a major risk.

Somethings are just unavoidable. Others can't be reveresed. There are times where people have lived their lives to the fullest only to regret not doing something else with their lives during that time.

It's ironic that us human beings, can never know what's ahead of us. All of a sudden, the house that you just bought might be flushed and swept away by a flood. Or after a good performance at work, your boss tells you that the company can no longer support your salary demands.

I just hate it when I'm at cross roads.

Work like there's no tomorrow...

I don't know if my bosses wil lfeel it, but motivation is low, and hopes are high of me getting a new job somewhere else.

I think I've had it with the advertising role. It about time I ventured into the other side of this world, a parallel but yet opposite sector of this industry. I want to be a 'client'... muahahahaha...

With the knowledge of how the whole thing works, I think I deserve a fair chance to try it out. I deserve to give it a go. I've just dropped in a couple of resumes to two HR-agents (or as you might say head-hunters) for them to process. Apparently, there are vacancies for a marketing & communications post somewhere, and they told my girlfriend about it. So, I went ahead and sent them my stuff.

Now, all I can do is wait.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

There are things that cannot be helped...

We mere humans are not comparable to God.

God can't be explained,
God can't be understood.

God can't be conceptualised,
God cannot be limited.

God does not play according to your rules,
God makes the rules.

God cannot be contained,
God cannot be tied down.

God cannot be manipulated,
God cannot be wronged.

God knows all,
He is in all.

But why, does He want to make himself so difficult to understand?

But then, if I'd understood God, that would've made me 'God'...

If I can fully understand God, then my belief would be nothing more than a concept that I have full yunderstood and put into practise.

That wouldn't require faith. That requires an indepth analysis.

And if it doesn't require faith, then why do we put our trust in a higher being?

Why do we have a concept of perfection when all we see on this earth is imperfection?

Why, over so many years of scientific research, still we couldn't determine where we came from?

I mean, we have the ability to explore space but don't have the ability to determine who we are?

God, where are you?

I wonder...

If I'm made for this...

I'll be writing and suiting my resume for a new career in a new field. I'll probably post something when I have time to think about other things... But now, it's all about the next step of my life.


Monday, April 03, 2006

It's a downward spiral...

When depression/anxiety gets hold of you, you're doomed...

I haven't been feeling particularly well these few days, well, this couple of weeks. I have had money given to me by the company, like a mid-year bonus kind of thing, I have had other blessings here and there, life is going as planned, well, on the short term at least, but still, I am depressed. Well, maybe not actually depressed, but deflated.

I have been going to sports rather actively during the past week, but the adrenalin rush didn't do me any good. I feel that I am getting back some of my physical fitness back. And it's about time too. But then, I still feel tired. Mentally I guess.

The job prospects didn't call back. I haven't really sat down and thought about what I want with life yet. The last time I felt like this, I actually changed the course of my life. Well, maybe I am on the brink of changing now. I don't know. I seriously don't know about myself anymore. I thought I wanted this, but then, in hindsight, probably not.

It's about time I got myself some big MNC and start my way from the bottom. Then climb up the corporate ladder slowly. And probably stay there for life. Or until I get enough savings to come out on my own, and start a small business of my own, just to pass time.

I don't know...

I don't know what I want. Well, I know what I want, but I don't know how to get it. I seriously know that I don't want this job for the long term. But I can't seem to find something that I want to do. I mean, it is obvious that I am doing this just because I can. Not because I want to. The things that I want to do doesn't bode well with the corporate world today.

Unless of course, I come out to open my own business. But that's a major risk. And I'm not sure I can afford to take such a risk. it does seem that I am torn between two. There are two very different paths set before me.

Speaking of which, I remember my mother telling me one fine day that my family lineage goes back to a good 5 generations of Anglicans. I am the 5th generation. And I am also the 5th generation of my family lineage that has been working our butts off for a meagre salary. It seems that the world is waiting. Waiting for me to take an extreme stride towards either side. 5 generations and none of my predecessors has offered himself to become a full-time evangelist. 5 generations and no one has came out of the worker mindset and be an entrepreneur.

Maybe I am the bringer of change? But to which side? ahahahaha

I keep telling myself that I am too laden with debt that I will not be able to turn to the 'good side'. But my heart is set on that direction. But yet, circumstances tells me that my calling is not as such.


Torn between two... The world, and all its glory, or the Path of Suffering where the son of man has no place to lay his head.

So tell me...

Why do I call myself an extremist again?

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