Monday, July 31, 2006

My answer to these questions:

The Call of Jeremiah
4 The word of the LORD came to me, saying,
5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew [a] you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

6 "Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."

7 But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.

9 Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. 10 See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant."

I guess it's only a matter of time.

of sprains and pains

I'm on a short lease as I have my ankle sparined from a good day of football yesterday.

It hurts, a bit, whenever I take steps, and for sure, I will not be able to keep up with the rushing hoards of commuters at work. So I took the day off, telling the office to email me anything that needs immediate attention.

It's a freak accident really. I tried to block an opponent's shot at goal, and the impact of the ball to my feet caused me to land the foot on the ground akwardly, and thus, a sprain was the result.

Well, today was a good day in a sense that I had a day off to think about my life, what I need to do in the short term, and also the long term. So happened, my girlfriend was also down with a stomach bug. And we spent the day off contemplating on my next move...

I needed the time to clear my head as well.


It's not funny when you think about your career path, and then you realise that you have hit a dead end after two years into it. Well, some may say that it's actually better that I realised it now better than later.

It's seriuosly demoralising when firstly, you're being told that you aren't good enough for this industry, and secondly, every other interview you go to tells you the exact same thing.

Well, maybe I am really not suited for this industry. So, now, what am I good at?

One of the most scariest things ever you can encounter in life is the seemingly hopelessness that comes from having no direction to turn to.

I mean, I have always had a direction in life. When I was young, my parents would tell me where to put my foot. When i grew older, I started to make my own decisions. Then, when I came out of Uni, I was set on this Copywriting thing. But this time round, I feel that I am seriously heading nowhere.

And as any manager of any team knows (I hope they do) that if you don't set a clear direction, the team goes nowhere. And now, I am heading nowhere.

I hate that.

I have seriously never been this lost before. I have had choices in front of me, it's always take this or take that. But this time, it seems that the only way out is to take a step back.

I wonder where I've gone wrong.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Thank God for Friends...

My Pastor always say, when you get married, how big the turn out reflects how good a friend you have been to people around you.

Well, if you've seen my previous posts, I am going through a rut currently. It's weird being told that you are only good for nothing significant.


I wonder how people live their lives without hope.

I had just ventured into the land of hopelessness and back again. For a moment, my world seemed to have passed me by, and all the things that I have held dear suddenly became insignificant. My career is heading no where, I have no penny to my name, and my debts will catch me if ever I stop running.

And it seemed bleaker because I have been sending resumes after resumes to companies trying to get an interview. I have been to countless interviews, but still nothing positive resulted. Just wasted more and more of my time.

I'm getting sick and tired of interviews.

Heck, I didn't even want to come to work anymore after those destroying comments.

But luckily, as the day went on, I felt better as a result of chatting with a friend. God-sent. I am now feeling better, although I am still a bit depressed. But at least, I didn't feel like leaving the office as soon as I finish my stuff.

And now, I'm here, blogging about my day.

Well, I just hope that tomorrow will be better.


I am on the brink of depression. A serious one.

The words of my boss has settled-in and I find it so hard to come to work even. Like I said, being told that I am not putting enough effort into work and that I should improve is one thing. But being told that I don't even make the cut, is just depressing, and downright potong-stim (Eng: kills of any remaining desire).

Well, words are very important. So important that I am now on the verge of just leaving this company, without even giving my 1 month's notice. I mean, if I am really that bad, what's the use of coming to work?

My only worry is what will I eat if I leave now. The only way for me to be able to leave this company immediately is that I forfeit my salary for July. But I have bills to pay, loans to service.

But I can't find anything in me to bring me back to work. The passion's lost. The little speck of motivation, as little as can be, is gone.

Where do I go from here?

I know I can write, but possibly not writing copy or creative writing. My writing, as you can all see from this blog is very much philosophical. And because of that, I do see the point in my boss' evaluation of me. So in that respect, I am not worried. But to be told that I am not cut-out for this by my boss, outright, in front of my colleagues, I take that as a move to chase me out of this place. So, how do I go about this matter?

Leave with a bang; Go into the boss' room, hand-in my resignation letter, and tear up my pay-cheque in front of him?

Leave diplomatically; Go have a quiet word with the boss and seek a compromise?

Leave silently; Type out my resignation letter and sit out the 1 months' notice?

My heart is set on the first choice. But logic tells me to take the third choice. Maybe I will just go for the second choice.

Thursday, July 27, 2006


This is so messed up.

Now I don't know where to head to. Sigh... I'm sitting here at the office, contemplating whether I should quit this industry in its entirety, or I should try to improve myself more.

I mean, to be told that you're not putting enough effort into it is one thing. But to be told that you have no apparent talent in this is another. With effort, I can make a living. But without talent, I won't be able to make it big.

Well, maybe I am not cut out for this copywriting thing. I am just not creative enough.

Suddenly, life comes into perfect perspective. I mean, all of a sudden, I have been given a wake-up call, telling me that I am silly to think that I have a future in this. Well, my boss is my boss, and the fella has been in the advertising industry for some time now, thus, if the fella says that I'm not fit to be a creative writer, then I might as well look somewhere else for a career that I will be able to build.

But I just wonder where... and what...


I have decided...

I will stick to this company until the year-end bonus comes out, then I will just dump-in my resignation letter.

So now I have a good 4-5 months to think about what I want to do after this.

I am quite certain that I will not make it big as a copywriter. Well, the reason is simple. I have no artistic inclination.

Maybe I am more suited to be a different type of writer.

I seriously wonder, what can I do, what should I do, and what suits me the most.

I might be able to venture into banks, and start at the customer service department.

I could also go into something else.

I don't know.

Anyone out there who wants someone like me?


Not everyone honours and appreciates honesty.

So I'll be frank with you.

I got commented by my boss this evening, and it was an honest judgement, which confirms what I think was true. I am not cut out for this job.

I mean, I can write. I have the ability to write well, I can inspire, I can change people's perception, but just that, I can't do what is expected of me in creative writing. Well, i put it down to me not having an artisitc background.

I mean, I have been struggling with this copywriting job for ever since I came out. My bosses have always commented on me saying that I don't conceptualise enough. Well, maybe it's because I have never been taught how to conceptualise, maybe it's because I can't conceptualise as my mind is not skewed towards the artisitic side of things. I mean, I can critique art, but to ask me to come up with something artistic, my mind will shut down.

So, like any good employee would do, I will take my boss' comments, swallow them, try to improve myself, and find myself a new job as soon as i get my year-end bonus.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Randomly Encouraged...

I think I feel encouraged.

Maybe it's frailty, maybe it's just me being fickle. I hate fickle minded-people, but sometimes, i turn into one too...

I wonder why...

Ah, well, I guess after this week's 'failure', that nobody called me to offer me anything, I will be staying put and wait for my year-end bonus, which actually makes more sense and cents...

I've got stuff to pay up for, and I need money to save up on. And most important of all, I see that we are moving out of our 1 client business (I think...).

Oh, I've been sleeping, but not getting rest. I wonder why. I have been resting but still, I get tired. Maybe it's the lack of proper food. I've been surviving on biscuits for the past month, and probably will continue to do so next month.

It's having an effect on my tummy, and waistline. So I guess it's good.

Things at work have been on a moderate tempo, and I have been ok with the jobs given me so far.

Now, I only wonder if they'll increase my salary this coming month, or do I get an incremenent only at the end of the year, when I have worked a full 12 months after confirmation.

Well, anything anyhow, I am still tired.

End of Random Transmission from brain to fingers.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Well... Negative...

They said they would call if they wanted me, but it's already a few days late, so I guess I just didn't make the cut. And I'm just gonna be stuck here until something comes along.

This is one of the weirdest things in life. I have never felt as such for a long time now. It's not like I didn't do well at the interviews... Heck, the first Agency that I went to even told me that he was very happy with me. But why no calls?? They were supposed to call on Friday, if not then yesterday... But until now... still zilch...

Maybe they're just late, maybe it's that my remuneration requirements are too high, maybe this, maybe that...

Sigh... I seriously wonder why...

Well, in hindsight, maybe it's for the best. God knows that I need to year-end bonus, and I hope that it's gonna be a sizeable amount.

But then, looking back at the 56K mistake, hopes aren't high.

Maybe God is trying to teach me something. Life as a Christian is one of total abandonment. To totally put your life under God's mercy and grace, which in faith, should be sufficient for me. Just that I am born as a worrier. Not a warrior, but a worrier...

It's difficult to not think about my own future and just leave everything to God. I need to make plans, and I have aspirations to see my plans being put into action. I have my own desires, my own dreams, but these should be God's desires and dreams for my life. I know it's the bigger plan, and bigger picture, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about tomorrow... sigh...

Pressure from all over, family, friends, acquaintences, work, church... the whole package...

Where do I go from here?

Monday, July 24, 2006

It's Complicated...

All of a sudden, I am now thinking that it might not make a financially wise choice to jump ship in this time of the year. I mean, year-end bonuses are just around the corner, and if i do go work for another company, I would not have stayed long enough for me to get into any bonus plans.

So, now, it's lunch time already, but no one called as yet.

I wonder if they have found someone better, offering them with a better deal.

So, now seemingly, I have another road to consider:

1. Stay, and wait for my bonus
2. Go to the Creative Establishment
3. Go to the Establishment with a Senior
4. Just Quit and go do something I like.

I seriously wonder... Which is the better road...

Staying put, and wait for a potentially non-existant Yer-end Bonus will be the best financial decision. The Creative Company, will most probably give me very good career prospects but money wise, isn't much to shout about. The one with a senior will give me good guidance, but a very specialised list of clients means I will only learn 1 thing, and to quit and find something else that I would be interested in, such as Human Resources, or Marketing and Communications.

I am in such a big dillema. Then I realise, the options 2 and 3 aren't available to me yet...

No one called...

I wonder why...

Friday, July 21, 2006

RM500 Mission

Well, I am on a mission:

Yesterday, I got word that an ex-pastor (revereand in fact), has just opened a 'wealth management' agency. Man, I have heard of Top-notch managers in the Corporate World leaving their business at the top of their game and move into a spiritual establishment, but never the other way around. Man, this is saddening.

And on the same day, I got word that there will be a mission trip back to my homeland, organised by my church. It'll be a Youth Camp and I'll be leading a team of musicians back to do a gig there.

I've been thinking about it the entire night, and my heart is heavy for this mission. So I have decided to go in faith that God will carry me through. I am short of cash, and roughly, I think the trip will cost about RM500.

I have no leave balance because there's this possibility that I am joining a new company within the next month. Thus, I will seriously need faith in God on this. Then money is the next problem.

I don't know why, but I seriously have a heart to do this. Maybe it's the chance to inspire the younger generation, maybe it's a calling from above that I should do this. Maybe it's the opportunity to affect the spirituality of my homeland that is seemingly in deterioration; Pastors turning into Wealth Managers?? Alamak...

Well, all I have to do now, is to find RM500 to finance this mission of mine. Any sponsors? hehehehehe

Thursday, July 20, 2006

When you have two bones...

Well, I am not sure that I'll have both companies offering me a place aftet both my interviews.

But from the look of things, here's a brief report on how I feel after meeting both sides.


The first one is this agency that has its set-up in the next block of my office complex. That fact for one, is a bit scary. When I hand in my resignation, my boss will surely ask, 'Where?' and it would be a scary thought to tell the fella 'Well, it's just in the next block.'

With regards to direction, and the workings of the agency, this agency does make the cut with its direction and its potential. I mean, these people are really, REALLY creative. I wouldn't mind working with them at all. However, expenses wise, financially, I will only incur a rough RM250 increase in nett income. I can see from their set-up, this company is going somewhere.

If I do get to join, I would see myself working there until like, I can come out and open my own agency or something. The career advancement is there. But I will be working rather independently.


As for the second agency, they are more stable and have a steady stream of clients all over town. However, they only focus on 1 industry alone. And that might be a real bore as I will be writing copy for the same kind of people, but competitors among themselves. It's very specific, and very focused. Well, if I do join, I would be made into the greatest writer for that genre of writing! Hah! The plus point is, I will be working under a senior writer, which I will surely learn something from. I have been running around this advertising industry headlessly simply because I have never worked under a good copy-based senior before. I wonder how it's like.

Money wise, this is easier on the pockets as well. Parking is free, the highway is relatively smooth running, and travelling times will be a breeze as compared to what I am doing now. But I won't be getting much of a chance to build my career up unless I topple my senior.


Ah, what's a man gotta do to get a job that he likes?

Well, there's pro's and cons to both, and I am not sure where I should go if both do offer me something. Money, or career advancement? Short term gain or long term pain?

Getting a new job is dangerous... You'll never know what you'll get.


Wednesday, July 19, 2006

When life throws you a bone...

Sometimes, our fates are sealed so tightly that we don't even have room to breathe.

Everyone has their own problems. And everyone inevitably sees other people as 'better-off' simply because they are comparing their own down-falls with other people's wind-falls. I mean, most of the time, our minds are so negatively skewed that we tend to see things through negative lenses.

There's a very fine line between being prudent and being negative. Margin for error is minute.

But with so much negativity in the news, even good news for some people will be seen as bad news for ourselves! So then, no news is good news. I always give thanks to God when I see some stupid headline in the Nation's Leading Newspaper. If I see that the front page is about some singer getting married secretly, I rejoice. Because there's nothing else to put in the headlines, and that means, it was a peaceful day yesterday.

Well, the media is just filled with negativity. Comedy-relief plays on that and a lot of people subscribe to it. We like to see other people in a worsened state, simply because, firstly, we can relate to them. We like to see stupid people getting whacked top-right-centre at the office, but in the end still get something good thrown at him. People like Puah Chu Kang gives us serious relief from our mundane day-to-day difficulties because he is stupid, but he gets along with his life fine (and rich).

Secondly, we like to see underdogs win. That's why so many have been touched by the recent bout of Hollywood underdog stories which have played to the tune that masses want to hear. Most of us who are working is under some kind of oppression. Clients demand stuff that are so difficult to produce, and thus we feel hard-pressed because our boss is pressed by the clients breathing down their necks. The clients are pressed because their customers aren't fully satisfied with the product and are about to jump to a competitor brand. And these customers are employees to another company. So, you get my drift?

So, wherever we turn, there seems to be nothing but negativity. Everyone thinks that they are going to die soon, but yet, somehow, no one wants to die because they do not know what death holds for them.

We are so afraid of death because we are not sure where we are going after death. Some say we will turn into spirits, some say we will go straight to hell, and a few good men will turn up at the pearly gates. A lot of people in the city, especially young ones, don't even want to think about death at their age. But once a close friend dies suddenly, they get shocked out of their shells because they have been lying to themselves, saying, "I'm still young. I have so much to live for" whilst at the back of their minds, they know, deep-down, they are just blocking out the thoughts of "What if I die tonight, in a accident?".

So, with all this negativity in the air, we do tend to breathe, eat, sleep negativity. For we don't know any better.

But then of course, life throws you a bone every now-and-then.

So when you get a bone thrown at you, do you look at it negatively and approach it with so much caution that you keep telling yourself, "If it's too good to be true, then it probably is." And you stand there, looking at the bone, contemplating whether you should pick it up. And you think up 1001 possibilites that once you pick up the bone, you might suffer from one thing or another.

Then the bone just lies there, sitting there, waiting to be picked up. And most of the time, once you have contemplated on all the 1001 possibilities, you move forward only to find that the bone has turned cold and it's not delicious anymore.

It's a dog-eat-dog world alright. What are you going to do when life throws you a bone?

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Long time coming...

Well, it's apparent that I haven't been posting as frequently now.

I wonder if I will ever stop posting.

But then, it doesn't seem too far from being realised.

I have just gone for an interview last night, after work, and the deal looks promising. At the very least, the agency has a direction and is going places.

I'll be going off to another agency tomorrow evening, just to see what they are about.

Well, last night was promising, and the boss actually told me that he liked me, and barring any better candidate doing better than me for a lower price, I would be joining them in 1 month's time. And an RM300 increase in gross salary...

Well, I actually wasn't keen on going to this interview in the first place because at a glance, their office is just in the next block of the same complex where I am now. That's scary. And it's going to be weird if and when I meet my 'ex-colleagues'...

But let's not count chickens first.

So far, I've lost focus on quite a few things. It's difficult to live when your life is not your own to live.

It's a big juggle between alone-time and social-time.

If I were and island, things would be so easy. But then, God didn't make man to be loners. We are deep-down inside, in need of friendship, fellowship, and interaction.

But then interaction brings an entire host of different problems. I live alone, my life is my own to live. I live with friends, I find myself juggling for time. Everyone wants a bit of attention every-now-and-then. But not everyone is willing to give. Especially with the hectic lifestyles that we live nowadays, it's difficult.. VERY difficult.

The working environment out there is so demanding that you simply find 24-hours a day is insufficient.

Sigh... The more I focus on my work, the less I focus on my relationship with friends. The more I focus on friends, the less time I can put into work. And that will easily translate to the boss as not being dedicated enough to the job. Sheesh...

Life is just hard...

I wonder, when I am faced with a proposition of career advancement, but it'll take a fair bit off my time with friends, versus staying put and suffer in my career advancement.

If really, I am faced with such propositions, what will I do?

What will you do??? Help!!!!

Friday, July 14, 2006


When it rains, it pours indeed.

Well, just before I left work yesterday, I just checked my email out of boredom, and I saw this piece of a gem in my junk folder. It was from someone in a company whom I had applied for a job at.

Well, it's funny. I almost missed it, in a sense, it asked me to go for an interview this morning, 10.30am. So, in the spur of the moment, I went for it. I left my office thinking up reasons upon reasons and excuses of why I would be absent from work today. I thought about faking a car accident, but what if my bosses asked for my police report? Then I thought about faking illness, but then, I had no money to see a doctor. A friend even asked me if I needed help. (She's living in KK and I told her about my plight on MSN) I declined, and at last, I told the office girl that I had stomachaches throughout the night and I wouldn't be able to go to work.

And so, I ventured out to meet with this guy. 10.30am, Sri Petaling. I went there, reached the place early, and even took my sweet time to steady my nearves before going into the place. Then upon arrival, they told me that the fella who was supposed to interview me was on Medical!!! God probably does have a sense of humour. And a rather good one at that...

So, I went home after filling-in the forms (half-heartedly)... From what I could gather throught the little exchanges at the place, I think it's a rather ncie place to work at. Their unwillingness to book a time for me after working hours is a good thing, and the fact that they need someone who is not too 'English' is another.

But then hor, while I was sleeping/bumming around my room with nothing to do, another agency called me up to ask me to go for an interview on Monday... and the scary thing is, this establishment is just in the next block of my office complex... The scary thing about this second company is that they wanted to put me down for 8/9pm when I asked them if they could accomodate me after working hours!!! That's like... SCARY>>> that means that they are comfortable in working untillate at night... sheesh...

now, I wonder what I would do next...

Ah... I'll write the first company an email asking for an interview at 7.30pm on wednesday... hhhmmm...

Thursday, July 13, 2006

writing styles

I have had my writing 'accidentally' critiqued

Apparently, I write 'one-kind' one...

Well, I do admit that I must have forged a style of my own when I blog. I do have a few tell-tales that will sell me out as myself if you've read me well enough.

If suddenly, I asked someone else to blog for me, or just put in one post in my blog, you will undoubtedly know that it's not me.

Ah, well...

Maybe today, I am not me... but you'll never know unless you know me... And that you know the little subliminal textual signatures that I always use.


Ok.. I don't know what I am talking about or why I am talking about the thing that I talked about a while ago when i had nothing to talk about.


Wednesday, July 12, 2006


I can't think when half my brain is pounding.

It came without warning. I was doing all well after I woke up, i was doing fine when I parked my car, heck, I was doing fine when I boarded the LRT, but once i stepped out of the LRT, half of my head started to pound... HALF... I wonder why... sigh...

Well, I just hate it when I get like this. I wonder what could cure this...


1 hour later:

I struggled with the migrain for a while, and then since I had nothing to do at the office yet, plus the bosses are still taking their sweet time in coming in, I took a wink on my desk, and the migrain is gone!!

So I am now officially tagging myself as a person suffering from a 'short attention span syndrom'. I have been trying too hard to push my attention span, increase my staying power, but it seems to be futile, especially that my cell members repeatedly call me a 'scatter brain'.

I think there's some truth in that. I mean when I speak, I have the tendency to jump topics although it does irritate the shit out of me. I can be chatting with you and we can talk about two separate topics in alternate lines. That's how bad it is. And I will force myself to call it quits when we start to get confused by the introduction of a 3rd strain.


Well, the next time I'm having a migrain, I'm taking a nap...

Wah.. feel so refreshed.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

I'm stuck...

I've been telling everybody who asks me, "Hey, how are you lately?"

I'm stuck.

*Hhhhmmm have I blogged about this before? If I have, then I am confirmed/certified as a dead man.*

I have no life. I haven't been talking to my boss since a month ago, and I need a bigger salary.

Seriously, it's difficult living in the big city, especially when you've grown up in a small town. I keep thinking of how much easier life would be if I went back to my hometown.

My ideals are so different from the ideals of those who live in the Big City. I would like to have a peaceful family, kids, and a nice home, nothing fancy, lots of space. But here in the big city, I am always required to work overtime, travelling is a hassle, getting to work already costs you a good chunk of your salary?

People here are so 'used-to' working late, and those who engage into a courting relationship is so 'ok' with not seeing their partners for a long period of time because 'work is more important'. Kids grow up in loneliness, and thus, find themselves looking for the wrong kinds of love. People's priorities are work, work and work. Some work because they need the money, some work because they want the money. But basically, everybody works for something. But in the end, they will all find that they own nothing.

Parents work so hard to feed their kids, and bring them up, give them a proper education, and make sure their needs are taken care of. But in trying to realise these dreams, we fail to understand that our kids need us. Your kids are only with you for a good part of their lives. Normally the first 10-15 years. If we fail to build up a lasting relationship with our kids when they are at this age, then when they grow up, do not expect them to have a relationship with you.

However much you have done for them, however much you have put on their plates, however good a uni you have enrolled for them will all go down the drain simply because your kid is not your kid. The fella is just your 'responsibility'. You don't foster a relationship with the fella, you will later become their responsibility,not their aged parent.

So, think properly what you are doing/giving your kids.

Society of today, when your kids goes to school, when they see that all their peers are treated as a 'responsibility' by their parents, they will look at you, parents who try to maintain a relationship with their kids, as someone who is doting, and troublesome, who accords them with no freedom at all... sigh...

When I talk like this, I seriously have nothing better to talk about... sigh...

Monday, July 10, 2006

A Beggar's Plea...

I am tired, sleepy and I need something to get this catch off my neck...

I can't turn my head to the right since last night, I had only 2 hours of sleep because I was naughty and went to participate in the consuming of the 'Greatest Sporting Spectacle on Earth', My stomach's bloated, and I can die any time.

And I need to survive on few biscuits & coffee/milo/both from the office pantry because I am financially tight this month.


So sleepy that it's making me all emotional... sigh...

Viva Italia!!!

Now, I need sleep...

Friday, July 07, 2006


Good news or bad news??

Ok lah, I'll give you the bad news first, so that we'll have a happy ending.

Well, I asked 'Why' because I have been scouring the recruitment pages for work to do, but it seems to be futile. Maybe it's the second half of the year and all that, and companies are just not going to bring in new people. Then there'll be a mad rush for the combined Deepa-Raya celebrations to earn more, to get the economy going... But why, are there no jobs available for someone like me???

It's frustrating that I can't seem to find anything... I am seriously wondering whether the economy is that bad until no one dares hire any new hands... So how lah? Fresh Grads need to have what then only can survive?? Well, I saw this little advertisement on the net, but the freaking application form is filled with so many requirements that will already make you inferior before you step into the company for an interview. The qualifications and the amount of information you have to give them is appalling to say the least. After that form, I won't be surprised if they asked me where my mother grew up during the interview. Heck, with such a form, you won't even need to go for an interview...


Well, the good news is: I am rather broke this month, and I am trying to conserve my resources so that I can live on less than RM10 per day. My first line of defense, skip breakfast. But this morning, feeling slightly hungered, I trod to the mamak beneath my office, at first wanting to buy a piece of newspaper, just to take a look into the recruitment pages, and later contemplate if I'd have breakfast according to how much I can afford. I had RM2 in my wallet, a few coins in my pockets, and a couple of tens. And as I am reluctant to use the tens because I am poor this month, I have to use every cent slowly. So, thankfully, God has been good as I found RM1 on the floor of the restaurant!!! Yeah!! That's 2 pieces of Roti-Bakar, thank you... Breakfast + Paper amounts to RM3.80 and I had RM2 from my wallet + RM1 form the floor + RM0.80 in my pockets from the car coin box.

The most thankful piece of breakfast I've ever had all my life... ahahahaha

Thursday, July 06, 2006


Wah, at last, after a long and hard struggle, the broadband connection at my girlfriend's place has been set-up.

A lot happened. Shitty business, but well, after a long week, over the weekend, and a lot of other businesses, I can now access the internet at my girlfriend's place!!

Well, that's the only piece of good news that I can afford this sad blog.

Oh, wait... I also got my 1 week vacation back to my hometown secured. The only problem is, things can't go as planned, simply because some travelling plans have to be changed by third party influences. Which is easier on the pockets as well. Heh...

Ah, after a good few weeks of busy-ness, it's about time things slowed down. I have been exhausted for the past two weeks. I don't know why, but it seems that I just can't get enough rest nowadays. I've not been following the World Cup day-and-night, I am actually surprised that I became a casual fan for this round's World Cup... Maybe because the style of play doesn't really appeal to me as Liverpool FC does. Maybe it's down to being frustrated by England's Coach, Sven Goreng Erixxxon.

Well, since I'm known to be an ardent fan of the 'Beautiful Game', and it's just not right to 'not-write-about' the World Cup, i'll dedicate this post to the World's Premier sporting event.

*Sticks tongue out, blows wind through the little openings making a 'pffffffllllfffflllltttt' sound... and ends with a 'Puik'...*

So there you go, this once in 4 years pinnacle of World sport, there's your commentary from me, an ardent fan of yours...

Wednesday, July 05, 2006


This blog is getting more like a personal rant space, and a personal diary kind of thing.

Truth be told, I am not that much busier than before I stopped blogging daily, but it's just that I don't want stuff to disturb my focus on my work. Mistakes happen when i am not focused, and some of them are pretty costly too. But the solace is that nothing is as costly as the RM56K loss.

Well, I haven't had much time to occupy my mind with thoughts from anywhere except church. I have just taken up leadership of a team of over 30 people, and now I am getting the feel of being a VP in a big company, with over 30 people in my department. Its just crazy, with the amount of responsibility that I have to carry, the endless reports, the direction setting, the juggling and balancing of the members happiness, and the attention that everyone needs, it's just crazy. I now have quite a few sub-projects that we need to do asap, and it's difficult. Fun, but very extremely difficult.

The most taxing thing is of course the thinking, the organising, and the implementation of new ideas and new directions.

Sigh, speaking of which, I need to probably draw up a charter of our core values and beliefs.

So less blogging for me then.


Tuesday, July 04, 2006


I've been busy with a lot of things, but I'm not doing a lot...

It's weird... It's like I have less and less time to blog, but in the end of the day, if you asked me what have I done, I would look at it as being unproductive.

Weird... It's like doing a lot of things without actually doing anything...

Ah, well, I've not been in the mood to blog lately and have nothing much to report about anyways.

Something just came up again...


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