Thursday, October 08, 2009

If I didn't sign in today...

this blog may cease to exist!

That's how long I've been out. I almost forgot my own password!

That shows you how busy I've been in the past few months. Well, it's not actually THAT busy, but there's always something at the back of my mind that I can't sit down and bother about writing something in my blog.

Maybe this is all it's about working in an executive level for a big firm. Yes, my school's just started and it's a rather small staff team, but we're like a new subsidiary of a larger group. We have to report to our immediate boss, which is the Chairman of the Board of Directors, which is also the Rector of one of the largest churches in Sabah. Then we also have to take orders and requests from the our boss' boss. This is how pre-occupied it is working in a 'small school' like ours.

Well, it's been about 3 months since we started off in mid-June. We were requried to hit the ground running, so we ran. And some of us are feeling the strain. We've been working through public holidays, we've been asked to come back during the school holidays, and it seems that the work has no end.

I guess only after so long that I have had the time to sit down and think about something which is not work-related.

So now, what's changed?

-- posting disturbed by demands of work --

- continued the day after -

So, yeah.. what's changed is this...

We're finally settling down. We are starting to think like 'orang Tawau' if you know what I mean. I seriously need to get out of this town for 2 weeks to give myself my life back. Else, I will start driving 40km/h on the fast lane.

Joshua's been a good kid to take care of. He's happy. We try to spend as much time as possible with him. At nights, he'll spend most of his time on our bed whilst we play with him. He seems to have developed a liking for his mom when he's sleepy, but when he wants to play, he'll look for me. He's growing bit by bit and on the run of his 4th month, he was able to turn over by himself. He's on his way to crawling. He just needs to build up his arms and leg muscles.

We've started to buy rattles for him and he seems to enjoy them. His hands are grabbing things all the time and he seems to find comfort in blankets and towels.

Now, looking back at his old photos, it's like he's changed so much. He's grown up so much and we hope that soon enough, he'll be able to learn things fast enough too.

On our side, the family's doing ok. We just sold off our apartment in Sunway and thus, relieving our financial pressures a bit. However, much still needs to be done until the final handing over, which we feel would be some time in December. By then, I'd have to go to KL for a couple of days to get everything settled I guess.

As for now, we are settling our debts one-by-one and hopefully, by the end of this month, we'd be debt-free. Well, asset-free as well.

-- duty calls again --

-- The writings above have been sitting there in my draft's folder for... like... a few days... --

And so I've come back to finish this article. It's been so long since I've had the time and opportunity to sit down and think. I guess with a baby around the house, that's what happens. The kid demands and demands your attention. And when he's not demanding attention, he'd be demanding that he be fed.

So most of my nights have been used up by him. My wife and I, we juggle our nights with him. Lucky for us, we were able to fit everything we need into this huge master bedroom that we have, so we don't need to go into another room just to do something. So, effectively, we are living in our bedroom, and the other parts of the house are just there... for storage... The only time that we need to do stuff outside of our bedroom would be when we need to cook, or do the laundry.

So, I've been thinking... Maybe teaching isn't my first calling in life. Maybe I'm called to do something else. I've just figured out that my primary passion in life is to see life changed. Not to impart knowledge based on a syllabus, but to change the way young kids think and act. It's a shame that I've figured out why this nation lacks in mental capability.

Our society doesn't seem to be able to move up the cultural ladder simply because of a few things. The first is history, the rejection of it, and the lack of it.

People say that our nation is just about 50-years young. But how is it that we cannot compete with our neighbour, who is actually 5 years younger than us?

I feel that this is our mentality. The majority of our people have been 'programmed' to reject western philosophy.

Now, I hope that this will not get me into trouble, but let me speak openly here.

History dictates that the Christians and the Moslems have been at war since the Crusades of a few hundred years ago. The feud seems to be still there.

We can see a rather active rejection of Western philosophy in our country simply because Western philosophy is very much influenced by Christianity. I've met the son of an ex-Communist (Chinese) from Johor whose father still thinks that Christianity is a gimmick from the Western world to control our society. Therefore, he rejects it totally. Needless to say, the Moslems will not even bear to think about Western (Christian) Philosophy in any good light.

Then, the majority of this nation also rejects the bulk of Chinese philosophy because of a certain May 1969 incident. The subliminal message that the nation is getting is that the Chinese are blood suckers and their only goal in life is to gather economic wealth from all around them. And most of the nation's policies are still geared towards 'Economic Balance' and 'Poverty Reduction'. These two ideas have not just put Chinese culture in bad light, it has also caused a subliminal rejection of all things Chinese.

Then, the only culture that we, as a nation can look up to, will be the culture that's on offer in this Archipelago. And as and when we look at our neighbour, we see a culture that is so diluted and so open that our conservatism rejects them.

So this leaves us with???

NOTHING!!!

Well, we do have the Middle-East to look toward, but then, have you heard of any world changing philosophy from those parts? They have been warring since the dawn of time and it seems that there won't be peace in those parts of the earth any time soon. So, how can you have learning and philosophical debates when the nations are at war all the time?

That is why, in my twisted opinion, that our nation cannot, and will not improve in terms of mental capability. If we continue to reject the two major philosophies in this world, then, how can our thinking improve?

So, yeah... the challenge for today is to think more...

If I have the time...

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