RATS!!!

The weekend just crept up on me...

~~~~~~~~~~

Edited Monday 3rd April 2006

And the weekend just crept away from me like the way it came...

......

I'm feeling demotivated and tired. Just didn't felt like coming in to work. I hate it when I feel like this. It normally signals the imminent departure of me from this company. And I don't like it. I've been hopping jobs for som much nowadays that I am getting tired of moving around.

I'm telling myself it's just a phase. But come to think of it, I won't want to be a copywriter for life. I mean, I don't think I'll make it big time. I have my own dreams and my own ideals. But I just don't see myself doing this for life.

just leave me.. I don't sound coherant because I'm half brian dead...

And Suddenly...

I've given it quite some thought... but still, I couldn't put my finger to it...

I have plans.. Sort of... but yet, I can't put down anything solid.

I've got a name for my 'future' company, and it's a good one... a damned good one... It's got meaning, it's clever, well maybe to some it may be corny... But can't please everyone can't I... And it does represent my personality in a way... However, I just don't know what to do...

What can I sell that others aren't already selling? How can I create a demand for something that only I can supply? How can I do something that is work, but won't feel like work?

Sigh... Life... When life gives you lemons, I think you should just go shove it up something and ask for apples.

muahahahahaahah...

I'm pure evil...

muahahahahaha....

Suddenly

Out of no where, I visited this blog of a friend.

Then she posted about something on her life's goals and purpose.

Then I thought... What am I doing here?

Well, English and Communication has always been a passion of mine, but recently, I have found out that I am also good at something else. Something that is also very close to my heart besides English. And that is politics. No.. I'm not thinking about being a politician... Far be it from me... hehehe... But I do have a hidden talent that only recent unveiled itself.

I am a troubleshooter.

I have this gift of seeing problems within an organisation and then I will seemingly have an unknown ability to solve these problems either by an act, or by setting a certain frame of mind for the people involved. And I get to use English as well, because choosing the correct words and to deliver the correct mind-set needs propaganda... and I am an ardent fan of propaganda. And the best thing is, most fo the time, I can see results...

I like saying things that sound harmless, but then, has the power to change the thinking of the recepient. For better or worse... I think I should try this...

Thus, I think I'm gonna venture into this part of the corporate sector... Consultancy...

Now... the only problem is, where to find a consultancy firm that will take in a diamond in the rough...

I'm starting to not like writing as a career. From the very beginning, I have understood that I am never going to do copywriting all the days of my life. So, maybe this is the opportune time for change...

pray for me...

Life... it ain't easy...

It seems that it is embedded in our thick skulls and our puny brains that we are never satisfied. Give me a hundred, I want another hundred. Give me sweets, I want the whole jar. Give me riches, I will be contented for a while, and go for more.

Greed, one of the deadly sins... Lust, another, if not deadlier...

And all this will ultimately lead to Murder... Well, sometimes, we don't murder someone physically, but we can do things to them that will kill some part of their lives.

I saw this headline of an article from the guy standing beside me in a cramped train this morning. It went something along the lines of 'Do not simply call an intimidating person at the office an Office Bully.' Well, sometimes it's true. People are more than willing to save their own asses instead of trying to take you down, kiling your career along the way. Just that sometimes, we don't see the impact of our own actions.

A simple white lie can turn someone's life upside down.

But then, there are people who think that they are the king/queen around the office. I wonder how these people sleep at night. They get all the praise and flattery that their colleagues can offer, and they know that the colleagues are just accommodating them. I used to have this woman in my previous office who acts as if she owned the place. Well, indeed she did well with the bosses, and is never shy on slabbing the bosses with a bit of flattery here and there. She can practically get away with murder. Any little misdeed on your part to cross her, she'll make sure you won't last long in the place by spreading 'controversy' to the bosses. But she also realises that her colleagues don't like her.

These people will never have peace of mind in the office I guess. If I were them, I'd be constantly on the look out in case someone tried to back stab me. And to my knowledge, she does get a lot of that. During lunch, when she's outside meeting a client or something, the other girls in her department will start to talk behind her back... But they can't kill her career because she's sucked up to the bosses, and the bosses can't care much about what goes on in the office. All they care is that the money keeps pouring in.

As for me... I wonder if I would ever be forced to do something like that. Trying to kill someone's career just because that someone doesn't suck up to me... sigh...

All for the sake of wanting more things???

Slow and uneventful...

This morning, I woke up slightly later than usual because my girlfriend had to do a trip to Putrajaya to get something done for the company. Some employment pass thing.

And it's about 10am plus and I have yet to see the bosses' face. Speaking of which, they just arrived.

Rats!!!

Well, it's been a rather melancholic week so far and things aren't great... good, but not great... I'm not gonna start complaining though.

It's been a good week or two since I handed in my resume to this major agency and they have yet to call back. Well, I received a call yesterday but I didn't hear the call because I was walking to lunch along the noisy highway. Then I got a stupid miss call message from Maxis. Well, the irony is that my office is less than 1km away from the Menara Maxis and I can't get a decent line at my desk. From no where, you'll be receiving a text message saying you have 1 miss call even without your phone ringing once!!!

Well, Maxis is crap and everybody knows that.

But then hor, I tried to call the number registered on my phone. It's a land line 03-8*** **** but hor, when I call back, it says "The number you have dialed is not in service"... Like... WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? It's not like I keyed in the wrong numbers, I returned a miss call... How can a number be invalid if it can call my phone???

One of the mysteries in life that will never go answered I guess.

Well, the other mystery in life that will always go unsolved is how our government uses the taxpayers' money. I know that as a citizen of Malaysia, the more goods and services you consume, the more you get ripped off. But this takes the cake.

I received an email from my friend that contained a counter-argument for the government's PR spins during the recent fuel hike.

The email pointed out that the government officials telling us that our fuel prices are still considered as low when compared to the nations around us. We are paying almost USD2 per litre and price of petrol is USD2++ in other places like Hongkong, Japan, and in the US itself. But as an average income earner in Malaysia, we are getting less than USD10,000 (that's RM38K mind you) per year whereas the people in those countries are getting around USD40,000 (RM152K) annually. So the actual difference is, that we are paying A LITTLE less for petrol as compared to them.. but we are making so much less than they are!!! crap!! Why are we the lower income earners asked to tighten our belts when the politicians go on their business of conning us of our money when they are still being chaufeurred around in their big CC'ed, luxury limos? Try taking the 'efficient, clean and modern' public bus to the parliment for a change!!!

This just made my day... I just filled up my, and it costs me RM75 per full tank... And this month, I'm feeling it... the credit card bills are in, and my monthly budget just got tighter...

A change...

Well, I've been in the dumps long enough... So, here's a post to cheer you guys up...

So, as any self respecting individual would do, we would go through the shitty education system of our shitty country, which produces straight A students like nothing. Then we would enrol ourselves into some shitty college with even shittier lecturers and pay a small fortune to get a piece of paper that says you've passed all your required subjects to qualify you for a degree in some shitty programme that you hope will get you a salary that earns you more than a shitty car to boast about. Then after all that, you find yourself signing on the dotted line and accept an offer for a shitty job that overworks and underpays you.

So, my question this good morning is, what do you bring to your office on your first day at work?

Here's a list of things that would be on my list.

1. Bring a pen. I might to write stuff straight away and I can't be seen borrowing something as elementary as a pen...
2. My own personal cup, hidden in a rather big bag so that I won't look 'too' kampung. Ditch the spoon... it makes a lot of noise in the cup during your travelling
3. A small inconspicuous bottle of water just in case the kiam siap company don't have water dispenser wann...
4. An extra shirt, just in case you know...
5. An umbrella so that if it rains, you'll still be able to remain relatively dry
6. A swiss army knife. You can't ever go wrong with one... Can be used to intimidate ugly looking colleagues and it shows that you 'man' enough to bring a knife around.. (Phallic symbol.. ahahahahah)
7. Some sweets. It's a good ice-breaker to get yourself acquainted with the fella sitting next to you, for all you know, you might need to bear with one another for the rest of your 20 years in the company... So start well...
8. And a little something to represent who you are: I suggest a soft-toy Monkey that can hold a placard that says "Pay Peanuts, Get Monkey".

If you observed all the above, you'll find yourself bringing one of those white, blue and red bags that you see in Hongkie Soapies. 'Biau Gerrrr, Wo Lai Yehhhh!!!'

So what's your list of things to bring to your office?

Decisions are always hard to make...

Especially the life changing ones..

I don't know...

A few days back, I was pretty sure I would do better if I left this small time advertising agency and join something big... But now, since the dust has settled, I'm not so sure anymore...

I'm still trying to work out certain things, trying to prioritise my life...

Let me be...

Go...

I'll be back with something substantial later...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm back...

It's just before lunch and we're waiting for someone to initial the mass exodus to the restaurants outside...

There's gonna be a agency-die meeting after lunch which will seemingly be a 'performance review' for all of us. There were quite a lot of mistakes in recent time and the agency is paying for it...

Clients are complaining, and there were a lot of things that can be improved.

Well, we'll see how it goes... as for now...

LUNCH!!!

Morbid...

I'm just feeling dead...

For some unknown reason, I woke up late... But however late, I am never late... hehehehehe....

I'm just feeling dead...

Sheesh... I just repeated myself...

So long...

Will be back later when the overspill from yesterday's shit subsides...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm back!!

hehehehe...

Well, the good news is, I found and picked up a Touch 'n Go card from the floor when I was on my way to the LRT station... If you're the poor soul who's lost it, tell me... I'll return it to you... I haven't touched it, and I haven't Went with it... so...

Promotion ends 31st March 2006.

Muahahahaha...

Back to work...

Destructive Thoughts...

Seriously, after this particular chain of events that happened these few days,

I am doubting my own ability to write creatively... Can and will I survive on this careeer path that I have chosen? Did I make a mistake somewhere down the line?

I mean, I seriously do not know where I am going. It's as if I'm walking on this road without roadsigns. I can't see what's in front of me, and I don't know which way to turn.

I have been hopping around quite a bit since I came out to work in August 2004. 3 agencies, 3 styles, and I must also admit that I learned quite a bit from all of them 3. But I can't see myself working in this industry beyond the next couple of years.

I know where I am headed, but I don't see the road/path that is set before me. It's like I can see the KLCC from where I'm standing, but I don't know where to turn to take me there. Sigh... The worst thing is, I can't ask nobody for advice about this. It's like I'm lost and I'm on my own. I used to be able to ask my parents what they think about this decision or that decision. But now, I can't. Simply because they do not understand what I have to go through. They never will, and I do not expect them to...

Maybe it's time that I abandoned the safety net of my parents' protection and start to live entirely on my own. Make my own decisions based on my own wants and needs... and take responsibility for the decisions that I have made. It's about time I risked a few things... and it's about time I grew up, step up and take it like a man...

So help me God...

All the bad things..

I tried resisting the temptation of blogging this out now... Cause it seems that there's more to come...

heheheheh...

Everything bad that can happen happened at once...

Early in the morning, my colleague got the worst of morning calls from a client... She's still pissed at being barked at for no particularly good reason...

Then my boss came in from the client's telling us about some shitty business with the colour-separators and printers... There's this problem with an image in one of our jobs. We changed 1 piece of film because there was an error on our part... and as it turned out in the printing, the image was blurred. But then hor, it wasn't our mistake... The image on the top of the page was perfectly done, but the image below 'ran' from its position. All because of the colour separators' Black film came out SLIGHTLY distorted... And apparently, we're absorbing the cost...

And have I mentioned that my colleague is still pissed??

Then there was a set of films that came out with funny alignments... apparently, this is because of the differing version of AI that we're using... so, it's a mad rush to re-do the entire films & proofs process.

The bosses have called for a meeting, and I hope that it won't take a lot of time... I'll be damned if they call for the meeting at the end of the day... that's gonna be shitty as hell...

Well, let's see what the other half of the day brings... Everyone's in a bad mood...

Maybe this has something to do with the boss' plants which died yesterday... "Bad Omen" he said...

hahahahahaha...

Bring it on...

When Sleepiness sets in...

I'm sleepy.

Very SLEEPY...

I'm getting older and older by the minute... At least I feel so...

Life has gone into a stand-still for me at times and it's not any pleasant.

A bit of drama unfolded in the office early on so, that was a side-show perk for me... hehehehe

There's this client of ours that has a really serious issue with the entire world. Sheesh... I wonder how the woman survives at the office. I mean.. You're being a bitch and you know it, the whole office knows it, your boss knows it, and your suppliers know it. And the worst thing is, my boss can't say 'No' to her because he's scared the she'll bitch to her boss and create a bad name for the agency in front of the fella who gives us business.

Well, seriously, if I were my boss, I'd tell her to go and find her own suppliers.

I mean, who calls up their suppliers on the dot at 9.30 and barks at them? [My office hours are from 9.30 to 6.30] Like, what's your freaking problem?

These people obviously know no manners and have no hint of courtesy in their system...

And the most stupid thing is, this client calls up the office at 9.30 looking for the boss, who services her, and after being told that my boss wasn't in yet, she put down the phone and proceeded to call us like two seconds [READ: T.W.O (2) S.E.C.O.N.D.S] later... sheesh... can't you accept the fact that MY BOSS IS NOT IN YET!!!!!!??????

It's clients like this that make our day...

Now my colleague is pissed... VERY pissed... she's normally composed and mild in nature... Whao!!! I see a hurricane!!!

And the worst part is... the client [yes, you can read that as B.I.T.C.H.] was barking and barking about why this change is not done and that is not changed, then she realised that whatever she asked for was indeed changed and ammended as per her last communication with us.

I guess she just wants to bark at someone to vent off her frustration... but early in the morning??? C'mon...

She should really get a life...

I just hope that I don't become like her... and I will make sure, with all the power vested in me, that my wife won't turn out like her...

Now... for some damage control and enrolment in anger management... ahahahahahahahahahaha

Signing-off from Looney Land

Motives that Motivate...

No meaning at all. Just a few nicely put-together words.

Well, actually, no-lah...

I just finished Dan Brown's Angels & Demons. I am a fan... a REAL fan of Dan Brown. He's so much better than some JoKer Rolling around...

All that's been said and done, it's a book that talks about actions and motives. One of the first things that my Pastor tried to change when he first assumed his position-in-chief at the church was to open our minds to the fact the ends can never justify the means. And we, as human beings with limited knowledge, shouldn't judge a situation or a person from what we see the person do. Simply because we know not what his heart is thinking. Besides, we aren't called to judge at all... Judgement belongs to God. Us human beings, we're just mis/under-informed entities walking around, trying to find our niche in this timeline we call History.

~~~~

Sigh... It's difficult being an existentialist... Maybe I should change my mindset.

But the more I think about things, the more meaningless everything became. Maybe I should take up a positivist approach.

Oh, have I told you that medical conditions are created by doctors and not patients? The reason is simple. Doctors, being an authority in medication see a lot of patients who come to them for help. Once the doctor sees a few of the same patients with the same symptoms, he will treat them with the same successful medicine. And from this trial and error, he mayl start to give the symptoms a name. So over time, the symptoms will be added unto the definition he has just drawn and thus, a full fledge medical condition is born!

It tells you that there is indeed power in a name. You put a label on something, you draw its boundaries, then you empower it with its own identity. When the issue/subject takes up the name and identity, it will ease things. There is a common misconception about the homosexual community today. Homosexuality is not a modern act, nor is it new. It's been going for ages.

But homosexuality came into the fore because we have set boundaries, and defined it properly. Once we draw a line between the A's and the B's, we actually segregate and empower both sides. In ancient times, Homosexuality was seen as 'sexual immorality' that included other acts such as having sexual relationships with animals and other twisted sexual acts. Only when society started to give Homosexuals a proper name that they have flourished.

In the past, people who were 'confused' about their sexuallity had only two definitions of gender to adhere to; Male or Female. So in order to find their place in society, they had to choose one over the other. But now, in more recent times, they find themselves having more and more choices. Now you can choose to be a butch, dyke, abang, adik, husband, wife, metrosexual, bisexual, heterosexual, anything your heart desires as long as you can find a few people who share your same views on life, and lead a remotely similar lifestyle...

So.. The next time you give a name to something, think carefully...

Sex Education

It's Important...

And some folks at Taylor's College have seemingly found that out... And they have taken the initiative to do something about it...

So, as I am earning peanuts for salary, I will do whatever is in my power to help out this good cause.

Buy some paraphernalia and support the college students effort... [Car Tag ~ RM7 / Baseball Cap ~ RM15 / T-Shirt ~ RM25...

I only got the images for the Car Tag and Cap...

It's really nicely done too...

so... for a good cause...

You guys can contact me and I'll pass you the contact person's details...


Stupid Yellow Sign

[For some stupid yellow reason, I can't load the image of the Caps...]

So, yeah...

Spread this around...

And get your kids Sexually Educated... There's enough orphans and unwanted babies out there...

Mindsets...

Our existance is somewhat determined by our mindsets.

What we think determines who we are. And the thing I fear most is that I will bring myself to my own doom.

I constantly try to tell myself to be open to all sorts of information and all sorts of thinking, but at the same time, I also find myself protecting my fickle mind against the damaging thoughts of some philosophies in this world. Then, all of a sudden, I find myself looking into a narrow tunnel that keeps on getting narrower and narrower. The more I focus on one topic, the more I know about it. The more I know about one topic, the less I know about other things.

It's paradoxical... VERY Paradoxical...

It's difficult.

I'm SOOOO Proud to be Malaysian

Whao...

Talk about attitidue right in the EARLY Mornings!!!

I mean... It's one of the first things you get to do as a Malaysian, employed at a esteemed company somewhere down town in the City Centre. What's with you???

It all started like this.

It's a normal MONDAY at the car park as I reached my normal parking facility near an LRT station on my way to work. I walked up the steps of the escalator at the station only to find out that there's a long queue waiting for me. It's nothing out of the ordinary. The LRT guys mess up almost every other day. It was only a few days back that I contemplated to commending them for a job well done because they have kept the trains coming at regular enough intervals to keep a dragon of a line from forming at the station, so there, you go, commendation out of the window.

Coming back to the story, I was somewhere in the middle of the line when the train came and as 'good citizens of Malaysia', we proceeded to board the train as fast and as packed as we can physicaly stuff ourselves into the train. Then just when I was about to board, the fellas inside can cramp in no more and at the same time, the bells rang indicating that the doors were about to close. So I was caught in the middle; To push the fella infront of me or to wait for the next train. Then as soon as I computed all the risks involved in trying to push the fella in the train, (I might be crushed into a door sandwich, mind you) So I decided to wait for the next train. And then, as soon as the bell finished is charming 'dong', the lady behind me had the nerve to let off a 'Tsk'...

I just hate it when people get like this early in the morning. Like what's your problem??

What can you achieve by venting your frustrtation at the situation? LIke it's any of our faults that the LRT doors were about to close? Like we don't want to get ourselves up onto the train? Like we like to wait for the next train with you 'Tsk'-ing behind our backs??? Wah lao!!!

It's an early Monday morning, the start of a new working week, and you're already depressed??? You haven't even got to work yet!!

Sometimes, we don't get our bosses approval at our jobs simply because we choose to live our lives miserly. Like what will you get by venting your anger and rage at your office and your colleagues and everybody you work with? A promotion? A pay raise? Nobody likes a sour grape.

But sadly, that's the attitude of most Malaysians.

I just love it when other people's frustration rubs off other people like this morning. Makes me frustrated as ever...

sheesh!!

Lawyers...

The invoice for the Legal Fees came...

Remember the apartment that I (my family) bought a while ago??

The legal fees are here... and it's a freak of a bomb...

Ah, well...

Oh... I just got my EA form a few days back and I wondered 'What the heck is this for?' So I proceeded to ask my boss about it.. and his answer was "Keep it... You might need it someday..." And I was like, "WHAT???"

hehehehe...

I totally didn't know what a freaking EA Form was for... until now... So I tried looking at the Inland Revenue Board site for info about that.. and I couldn't find any useful information... I guess they are really REALLY just after your taxable income ONLY...
Make a mistake, they will charge you. Miscalculate, CHARGE! Late, CHARGE SOMMORE. Didn't receive anything, CHARGE THE MAXIMUM THEY CAN GET OUT OF YOU!!!

I have to be careful of these procedures from now onwards because of the apartment. Lucky my mom is an Auditor and knows a thing or two about Tax and the IRB... I wouldn't want to track back my salary for 7 years, and tell them I used to earn peanuts... I still do...

Sigh...

Here's to a better tomorrow...

Sitting at the office with nothing much to do...

It's after lunch and all I have done for productivity's sake is a two-liner that I came up in ten minutes.

It's utterly boring in here...

...

.

..

.....
..



....

Still Uninspired...

I have been trying to think up of interesting things to write and it just doesn't come.

This blog has degraded from an intellectually stimulating blog to a personal web diary. SIGH...

leave me...

I suck...

So if you didn't learn anything today, remember to love your parents while they are still here. Don't wait until they die then only you spend tonnes of money to make them look good during their 'departure'...

I would rather spend tonnes of money on them when they would still enjoy it... Corpses don't enjoy anything...

Now, if only I could find tonnes of money...

Writer Down... Writer Down!!!

It's saddening when you think about it... That I have become an uninspired writer... But I guess every writer goes through a bad spell every now and then.

So... What should I blog about these few days? Nothing...

I have just came to realise that blogging has awaken a part of me. I do not read enough shit to spew out.. I just realised that I have shat all that I know about life and the sorts. Or is it that I have not been around enough to get myself some mental stimulation.

It's not easy to stimulate the mind of an existentialist mind you, because to us, we think that everything on earth is temporal. It will amount to nothing. Naked I came from my mother's womb, naked I shall go into eternity. It would either be eternal happiness or eternal hell... Sigh... Sometimes I do find myself questioning eternity. Do I really want it?

I really wonder how it is like to not be bound by time. That the concept of time is not linear, and that chronology doesn't move in one direction... Heck, eternity means that there is no such thing as Chronology!!!

ARGGHHHH... I'm just pissed... for no reason...

Uninspired...

I've been trying to 'soup-up' my CV from this morning until now...

But whatever I write seems to be uninspired.

I'm depressed...

Sigh...

I just hope this deal goes through... I hate it when I'm in between jobs... Well, technically, I'm not in between jobs, but... argghhh... it's this feeling that I will potentially leave this company and join another that's bad for morale...

However, I am a professional and I shall act like one... Not that I'm going to get the job at the new place anyways, they still don't know I exist yet!!

hahahaha... my mind does things to me that I can't find words to describe... sigh... that's a bad sign if a Copywriter can't describe something properly...

sheesh...

signing off with a 'Lah'...

I. Need. Focus.

I've been slightly disillusioned nowadays.

I wonder why...

I constantly find myself in a minor depressive kind of mood and life is feeling slightly bland. Everything I do seems to leave a pale taste at the mouth. Maybe it's a late nights I've seemed to put in, and maybe it's the tug of war that I constantly find myself in.

I feel that I am spiritually and mentally sapped. Physically too. I've been trying to play basketball and football during the weekend, but to no avail, I don't feel refreshed. Although I played rather well in the basketball game, but at the end, I still feel no high. You know, the sort of high that you get after a full game of andrenaline pumping excitement. Maybe I am really, seriously getting old.

They say that one starts to go downhill at 25... Heck, I'm turning 25 in a short period of time.

sigh...

Maybe it's a chain of events leading up to this week. I made a few mistakes in my job. Minor ones, but still requires quite a lot of trouble shooting. And then I seem to have been grouped up in the losing team in both my basketball games and the football session. Whatever I tried to do didn't work... I just couldn't win any match...

I'm just depressed.

But there's a cause to celebrate though...

I have been praying for a big break in my career, and an opportunity seemingly presented itself after football yesterday. A footballing friend came up with an offer to get my resume into one of the country's leading ad agencies. So... If indeed I do get in, it's gonna be my BIG break!!! Hopes are up, but then, being me, I always look at the good and bad of everything. I cannot afford to job hop anymore. I need to settle down. Although, this current company of mine does lack quite a lot in staff benefits, and remuneration. My doubts have also been justified. I have heard that a junior copywriter outside gets around RM2.4K per month, and my footballing friend gave me that exact amount quoting a rough price in remuneration if I do get in.

Well, that's just that. I am also concerned that if I get into the Big Company, I will have less time for myself. I don't really want to join a rat race. But I do want to at least experience how a major agency works. And working under a senior will only help me develop my needed skills. I do feel that it is the right time for me, 1.5 years experience, without too much financial burden/commitment (yet), and willing to learn. If I go any later, I might end up a senior copywriter that lacks experience.

But then, if I leave, I might need to work long hours and wouldn't be able to perform my social and religious duties at church. sigh...

But if I don't leave, my nett worth will not justify my years of experience later in life...

I know what I want... but what does God want??? *sigh*

dilemma... uncertainty... STRESS!!!

so far so good...

It has indeed turned out to be a rather slow morning for me thus far.

The only thing that I needed to do for the entire morning was to check a leaflet thrice!!!

So I'm taking this opportunity to snake a bit...

hehehehe... I know I promised not to snake (too much) but this is inevitable. My usual reads are exhausted, and I am sitting down at the office with nothing to do. Some day, I'll bring in Readers Digest from the house.

Sigh.

I've been demotivated lately, getting tired, and slightly annoyed at life. I know... I whine and whine and whine about everything all the time, there's no such thing as a perfect life...

Well, the thought of this has brought to my mind a very uncanny, and a little disturbing thought that I just realised a few days ago.

I was looking at a friend's blog and I couldn't help but feel and sense a bit of my old self in the fella. He has a strong grasp on life, and what he wanted to do with it. At first, I thought that the fella is a stiff-necked teenager that hasn't seen enough of life. But then, I realised that I too was just like him when I was his age. Idealist in thought and nature.

But somewhere along the line, I have turned from an idealist to an existentialist. I wonder why...

I used to be very into changing the world into a better place, I used to spot flaws in a system and I would demand change. Then, I would require myself to be the ideal person. The ideal boyfriend, husband, son, friend, and whatever you require of me...

But then, all of a sudden, I find myself drawn to existentialism.

Wait.. I think the point was when a Priest decided to preach on Ecclesiastes, that something in my mind snapped. Everything was indeed meaningless. Or it was turning out to be.

We run, we strive, we suffer, we stay alive, we go through stress, we risk the potential of losing our jobs, our lives for our jobs, we eat, glutton and drink, we chase after our dreams, we make ourselves stronger, we try to improve, just to get through life. But what's waiting for us at the end of it? Nothing!

There is indeed nothing new under the sun.

Theories are just words and thoughts waiting to be disproved. A theory remains a theory until it is disproven. And throughout the ages, there have been so much that has been thought of, popularised, and later disproved by a later idea, or some new fact that comes up. But so far, the Theory of Relativity is still the predominant thought in the human mind. Well, it is indeed a very logical theory but not without its own flaws. In a nutshell, relativity means that if your 'Control' experiment messes up, you are doomed.

There is no such thing as a theory without a fact, but there is no fact without theories backing it up. You think Science is so 'ultimate'? Wrong... remember, during lab experiments, it's always relative. There is always a 'Control' experiment so that the 'Results' experiment may be compared to. And up until today, Ions and Protons are still a theory waiting to be disproved. Then, I was told that there is an even smaller particle found in 'Mass' than Electrons... So... there you go... We humans don't even know what we're made of...

Can we see actual electrons moving from one side to the other side in the beacar? No!! all we see are bubbles on the metal plates inside some funky coloured water. We only see the side effects, but we can't actually see it happening. Most of the time, our education is the very thing that fails us. We are known to rely on false consciousness that we derive from watching movies, friends who talk a lot, our own thinking, and whatever information that we can gather from our environment. But are all these true? How true is true? Is truth a feeling?

Because we have not seen enough, we are actually restricted by what we know or do not know. But then, how much can we learn and know with our limited time and opportunity? There's so much information out there, but there's only so much we can know. So what is the truth??

What I find most disturbing is seeing people who has seen and learned less than you, get their heads into a 'thought' that you have discarded as 'when I was under-informed'...

Now I know how exactly my mother and father felt when I was the rebellious kind... Frustrated...

I am learning and experiencing the burdens of fatherhood too early than my supposed time...

sigh...

MelonCholic Friday

I feel like a melon...

yeah...


I so didn't want to wake up and come to work today. My girlfriend was nice enough to leave me to my slumber until the very last minute. She called me from her office to wake me up for work. Normally, we car pool, but on fridays, she drives because she needs to go home early.

Well, the trip to Genting yesterday was somewhat an eye-opener... The mentality of those who work there is somewhat different than ours who are living and working at the city centre.

Well, that's that...

I've been slacking quite a bit at work and it's down to some serious tiredness. There were a good few mistakes on my part and the colleagues are starting to get annoyed. But it's not like I can help it, I have so much to do. sigh...

Check this, check that, everything's urgent, do this for me, do that... Write for me this, and that, or give this to me, burn this CD... Open the door, pick up the phone...

sigh...

Go... just go... leave me... sheesh...

MaDdNesZ

it's getting freaky at the office.

Work is coming in like no one's business and most of it cannot and will not be billed. Free stuff for the clients, and a whole lot of monkey business...

Phone call #1 : Oh, could you be a dear and send me the high-res pics of this shot and that shot?

Phone call #2 : Eh, I forgot the other one, can you save that into the CD for me also, Urgent ah. Thanks.

Phone call #3 : (Another client, same company) Where's my leaflet artwork? "But I just sent..." Email it to me please.

Phone call #4 : (The same client from above) Why so long haven't arrive one? "But it says 'Sent'..." Email it again!

Phone call #5 : Where's your boss?

Phone call #6 : I'm coming for an interview, erm, where's your office ah?

Phone call #7 : (Client from Phone call #1) Where are my high-res pics? Done already?

sigh...

Then there are taglines to write, interview to be done at the client's office so that I will gain a 'better understanding' of what it really is like. So that my copy will be a true representation the company. And I find myself on my way up to Genting tomorrow morning. That's freaking 45 minutes on the LRT!!! Then the bus, then the SkyWay...

Well, I hope that I'll get compensated for it... hehehehe

Meanwhile,

Life's like a box of expired chocolates... You'll never know what hit you... until it's too late...

Oh, have I forgotten to tell you that I am now the Office Receptionist, FA Artist, Despatch, Disk Burner, Photostater, Waterboy, Mr. Favour, Stand-in Designer, and Copywriter? Not that I am paid extra or anything, nor am I good at any of the above except at what I was paid for, but shit, it's a shit load of unnecessary monkey business on my part. It's only a matter of time before they'll ask me to clean the floor and shit...

Tuesdays are an overload...

From sudden nothing-to-do-ness, I am now facing the possibility of going up to Genting Highlands tomorrow for an assignment.

Then I have quite a bunch to do at the office.

Oh well...

Stuff has been coming in thick and fast for us at the office and I haven't got much time to blog.

~~~~~~~

I've been opening and minimising this window over and over again...

I give up...

tata...

until then...

Monkey Mondays...

Word of Caution to those who are just starting out in thier career/job...

NEVER EVER BE NICE TO YOUR EMPLOYERS!!!

I mean, there's only so much you are getting paid, and thus, because of that, you should never agree to do 'extra' work. Although some companies will require you to do a few things here and there, and the boss does seem to be too difficult to reject, but bear in mind also, that once you've said 'Yes' to a 'favour', they will keep asking you to do something similar.

Mentality is important...

Although as a Christian, I am called to serve my company as best as I could, but not to the point where I am 'over-used' and 'mis-used'... Christians are called to be forgiving, not to be taken-advantage-of... So, I have decided that as much as I would like to glorify God's name in my company, I will not agree to anymore monkey business for the company, unless they pay me for it. Afterall, a worker deserves his wages.

I just realised this a few weeks back.

See, I have been this very accomodating and desparate job seeker since I came out into the working world. And thus, I know that my employers are taking advantage of this. And I knowingly let it slip. I have been a tad too sensitive towards relationships in the office that I am now being manipulated and taken advantage of.

Well, as a Christian, we are called to make a difference in our workplace, but still, that doesn't mean that we can be treated unfairly.

So from now onwards, wherever I go for an interview, I will let them know that I work for money. Although that will not be my real purpose, but letting your employers think that you are working for money from the start does clear a few things up.

Well, the logic of this is as such. If your employers get an idea that you are working for money, it eases your job. It might not bode well with your image that you are trying to portray but it does the trick. It will fend off whatever monkey business that your employers might want to make you do. Tell them from the start, and whenever they ask you to do something out of the extraordinary, you ask for more money, or some extra pocket money or grant from the petty cash.

Whenever they think of asking you to do something, they will first think twice, as you will ask for more money...

It's simple actually...

"Hey, can you help me send this to the client on your way to work?"

"Sure... but I want this and that allowance... I did not sign up to work as a despatch man..."

See... if everything you do for the company is determined by money, then your bosses will get the idea... and they will live with it because in their mind, you are 'that' type of person.

It's dualistic I know, but everyone's doing it to protect themselves... why not you???

It's only portraying yourself as a worker for the company... it's not asking you to really slave yourself to money...

It's Friday Night...

And I'm stuck in the office...

sigh...

Well, at least I don't have to rush anywhere for anything that I'm responsible for...

And the bosses ordered Dominos...

And I'm supposed to be fasting dinner...

Just looking at the pictures on the online order, my stomach is churning...

Sigh...

Forgive me for I have sinned... I have sinned even before the delivery guy is here...

*Now, where can I buy a Letter of Absolution...???

All Malaysian Muslims in KL...

Are currently Haram...

The front page news of a local daily (no... make that tabloid) wrote of the shitty smell in the water was indeed, SHIT!!! and it's official that it was pig shit!!!

So that would've meant we all bathed in pig shit water a few days back!!!

So now... doesn't that make the Muslims here in Klang Valley 'Unclean'???

Let's see how the JBA (Water Supplies Dept) handles the Religious Authorities...

But on a personal point-of-view... EeeEEeeewwWW!!!!! Now you tell us that we were bathing and drinking 'fertalised' water??? and it was safe to drink??? The Government and its Agencies have done it time and time again...

And us, being 'tolerant' people we are, we're just gonna tolerate this like every other stupid thing that the Goverment says...

The thing about this country is that there's nothing to choose between, and the Government gets complacent because of this... Like everything else in this joint, it's a monopoly... whenever competition comes up, they will crush them down... So, the Government is actually concerned with two things... 1. Fill their own bellies 2. Destroy all competition that will jeopardise Concern #1...

Crap.. I need to move out from this joint... No wonder those who have gone overseas to study don't want to come back... Even if they did, it would've been for their folks...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, life does seem bleak... and bleaker...

Price of things continue to increase exponentially, and experience tells me that it's not gonna come down EVAR!!!

The only good thing about this is that I have bought my apartment a while back, and it could only increase in price... Provided that the developers don't go bust anytime soon...

Well, it's gonna be difficult from now on... savings are getting smaller in value although the amount increases... interest rates are crap...

we're all gonna die...

Change my Lifestyle???

That is the biggest and crappiest piece of Bull-Dung that came from the PR buttheads in the Prime Minister's Department!

What is this crap about our Deputy PM asking the 'Rakyat' to change our lifestyle when prices of everything increase???

Suddenly, the Government increases the price of fuel, which also causes everything else to increase in price, and they expect the people to absorb the cost by 'changing our lifestyle'?

They seem to think that we are living in sheer luxury like their white-washed asses are. In actual fact, a lot of us are just 'getting-by' every month. Don't the Government know that the rich in this country only constitutes a good 10%-20% of the entire population??? Then what about the poor souls in the rest of the 80%??? Those who are already living within their means, without much luxuries??? Then there are a significant amount of people out there who are earning just enough to go by day-by-day. And there are people who has to use a significant amount of money just to get themselves to thier office, and earn a meagre salary!!!

I mean, when I take on a job that is somewhere across the Klang valey from where I stay, I will, like it or not, have to spend on transportation!!! So in actual fact, our 'actual income' should be counted as "Salary minus Cost of getting to work"!!! You increase travelling expenses, our nett income goes down. Poor fellas who have a RM1,000 per month salary now has to spend a good RM150 on travelling to work??? That means the poor fella is actually earning a net 85% of his monthly income!!! that's not even inclusive of the EPF deductions...

Add that to the RM0.30 per bowl of rice, that's 3 meals a day, round it up to RM1.00 increase per day, and that's RM30 per month... Don't the whitewashed asses know that RM30 is someone's weekly income???

Stupid fools... How do you expect people that's been living on bare necessities to 'change thier lifstyle'???

Then there's this stupendous spin on the '4.4Billion' being 'reallocated' to 'improve' public transport... Like how??? The only working and 'good-enough' public transport in the whole of Malaysia is the Putra LRT!! And that too is not cheap. The other mass transportation systems are just crap. No matter how much of money you dump into the systems, KTM will never be on time, Star will still go around useless routes and don't even mention the busses, cause you can never EVER predict what time it's gonna come. And some bus drivers just drive past your station!!!

So change our lifestyle means sleeping 2 hours less a day so that we can WALK to the bus station earlier??? and wait for a potentially 1-hour-late bus??? And spend another 2 hours trying to get home??? Reach home at 9pm everyday??? And have no social life???

That's what you meant by 'a change of lifestyle and mindset'???

Does the Government think that we are stupid?

Does the fella even know what he's talking about?? Maybe we should ask him to 'turun padang' one day and take a ride on the bus for once... Give him a 'route' to take and see how much time he spends waiting for busses and LRTs... Then AND ONLY THEN, he's qualified to tell us to 'Change our lifestyle'...

Oh C'mon...

RAGE... Again... sigh...

Before long, the Government will be asking why the crime rate increases...

Ash Wednesday...

In the traditional church calendar, today marks the start of the 'Holy Month'...

It is the 40 days prior to the death and resurection of Christ. This is the time of Lent where Christians treat as a time to draw near to God. So, most of us will take this opportunity to fast and pray for a cause; be it for ourselves, our church, our nation, and so on and so forth.

My first prayer need of the month; Increase my salary...

Petrol price increase means that I have RM50 less to use monthly as a full tank now costs RM80 for my little 1.3litre Proton Saga. I used to use and average RM180 for petrol, now, it's potentially RM240... RM300 if I make extra trips around town, or to the airport...

Then more 'good' news... Price of Gas also increase... A canister of gas increased by RM4.20... And that spells increase in price of food. Nasi lemak has increase by RM0.20 this morning... And that's just 'plain rice'!!!

Sigh...

I can live without driving too much, but live without incurring too much cost on food???

I might as well make this a 'Holy Life'... instead of just the 'month'...

So help me God...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Addendum:

Well, it's all starting to settle now...

I need to probably prostitute myself to something in order to survive...

Citing [rojaks.blogspot.com], it's about time we all bent over and brace ourselves for a good 'f*rking'...

This ripple effect is coming in fast and furious.

Because price of petrol increase by 18.5% two days ago, today, price of consumer goods will follow suit. Before long, Nasi Lemak which used to cost RM1.00 will increase by 20% to RM1.20... Vegetables will be as expensive, if not more than Meats, Fruits will also get a price hike because you will need tonnes and tonnes of moolah to move them from the orchards to the stalls...

Well, in short, you should just brace yourself for a 20% increase in the cost of everything.

If you're used to spending RM10 per meal, prepare to use RM12 now...

This 'slight' increase in petrol will potentially spark off a recession... sigh... I just hope that the apartment i just bought won't charge me more because of the increase in petrol prices...

Seriously, it's about time we all strive for an increment of 20% from our bosses...