Depression...

I am on the brink of depression. A serious one.

The words of my boss has settled-in and I find it so hard to come to work even. Like I said, being told that I am not putting enough effort into work and that I should improve is one thing. But being told that I don't even make the cut, is just depressing, and downright potong-stim (Eng: kills of any remaining desire).

Well, words are very important. So important that I am now on the verge of just leaving this company, without even giving my 1 month's notice. I mean, if I am really that bad, what's the use of coming to work?

My only worry is what will I eat if I leave now. The only way for me to be able to leave this company immediately is that I forfeit my salary for July. But I have bills to pay, loans to service.

But I can't find anything in me to bring me back to work. The passion's lost. The little speck of motivation, as little as can be, is gone.

Where do I go from here?

I know I can write, but possibly not writing copy or creative writing. My writing, as you can all see from this blog is very much philosophical. And because of that, I do see the point in my boss' evaluation of me. So in that respect, I am not worried. But to be told that I am not cut-out for this by my boss, outright, in front of my colleagues, I take that as a move to chase me out of this place. So, how do I go about this matter?

Leave with a bang; Go into the boss' room, hand-in my resignation letter, and tear up my pay-cheque in front of him?

Leave diplomatically; Go have a quiet word with the boss and seek a compromise?

Leave silently; Type out my resignation letter and sit out the 1 months' notice?

My heart is set on the first choice. But logic tells me to take the third choice. Maybe I will just go for the second choice.