1st Day...

I don't have a computer assigned to me yet.

They're moving a few things in the office, so I guess normal blogging will resume in a few days, until I settle down. Unless I can't resist the urge to blog, and find myself typing away in my girlfriend's place. Heh...

Oh...Life's Great...

Self Help Books...

Self Help Books never did quite cut it for me. Ever...

I've tried many times to read stuff by renowned writers like John Maxwell, and whoever else is out there. I remember John Maxwell because I utterly hated, loathed and get disgusted with his emotional styled of preaching and writing. All he does is to get you all emotional and while you're all mushy, you will inevitably get yourself to change 'for the better'. As far as I'm concerned, I can almost figure out the rest of the book by reading the first chapter. No doubt, there must be countless ways to skin the same cat, but maybe it's just me who refuses to be told what to do by some chap that doesn't even know fully what my predicament is.

Well, most of the time, I can figure out what's wrong with myself quite easily. Maybe it's due to this sentiment that I refuse to read self help books.

And so I find that I'm in trouble. Or I find that I have this or that problem. What do I do?

I sit myself down, think about the circumstances, and plot out the best possible way to tackle this. Yes, I am the perfect epitome of self help. I sit down, and help myself!

The main reason, probably, why I don't indulge in self-help is simply because by the time I finish the book, I would've figured something out, or the circumstances might have changed. If I'd ever read a self-help book, it would purely be for knowledge and most of the time, used to help others, but not myself.

I can only wonder why it's been like that. My friend keeps telling me that I have such sentiments because I have always been the elder person. I am the eldest among my siblings, I obtain leadership positions fairly easily, and I have people looking up to me. It's not that I want to brag or anything on those lines, but I am, in my little world, a rather good leader. That I am sure.

But I have done all this without self help books, and I can only wonder why people like to indulge into such things.

Maybe it's a gift of mine. Maybe I'm destined to do something along these lines.

I can only wonder for now.

Last Day...

And I start with my new work, presummably tomorrow...

No rest for the wicked.

Well, this day hasn't been smooth sailing thus far. Everyone's rushing for something, everyone's busy, and a colleague's on leave.

Stress... I've picked up part of this crap, and I've done all I could. Now, I'm sitting here, while the other colleagues are busting their backsides to rush out stuff that the client wants urgently.

So...

I'm in no position nor mood to blog now.. I still have quite a bit of adrenaline in my bloodstream, and my thoughts are still all over the place.

Will edit this space later.

2nd Last Day

So what does a man do when on the brink of the ceasure of his job?

Well, he takes things slowly, and he cherishes the every moment. He breathes in the remaining rays of sunlight, he watches and takes better notice of things that he has taken for granted, and he acts like a complete slob at the office!

Hah!

Well, that's not entirely true, but part of it is.

These few days, today especially, I've been more aware of what's happening around me on my way to work just because I know that this (and tomorrow's) will be the last journeys I make to this office. And just to put things into perspective, I am now feeling a little melancholic to say the least. It's a wonder to me, how I can meet with the same few people on the LRT every other day, that I have even made a mental note of thier profiles without myself noticing. There's this aunty that's always there, in the same line as I am, there's this tall girl who's always talking to this macho guy whenever they're standing in line. There's this uncle who's has a twitch on his face who'd always arrive around the same time as I do. There's a bunch of 'regulars' that's gonna always be in the same line, about the same time, going to the same place every given day.

And then I think to myself. What do I know about them? What have I done to get to know them?

Nothing.

And then I realise how social this society has been.

Relief?

So, yeah. My last day in this pot of a company will be this immediate Friday.

I've been a little bit pumped up by how to act and react in and around the office. The funny thing is, the bosses are acting as if I'm not going away, and they keep giving me jobs that require lots of coordinating. I foresee a huge mess as and when these jobs are left in the balance. I am now asking for translators for quotes on a few jobs, and when they come back with their jobs, it's gonna get messy.

I'm telling you, these kind of things, will not be good for business. I don't wanna leave things hanging.

These 3rd party suppliers will give the company and me trouble. That I am sure. The clients will not be 100% happy with the translations at the first attempt, and the worst is, some of the quotes might not even come in by Friday.

I am quite sure that if they call me up next week, I won't want to answer their calls... heh...

Oh...

Although your employment contract ... you until 30th November, your employment will actually cease on the 25th November 2005.

So... It's a bit weird to receive such a powerfully written confirmation of resignation, when in actual fact, the company isn't that powerful at all.

So, my last day will be this Friday, 24th Nov.

I think I'll find a few things to do meanwhile waiting for the new job to start.

Watch this space. I will reveal where is my next destination in a little while... Maybe on Monday... ahahahahaha...

But if shit does happen, and I don't get allocated a computer as soon as I walk in though the doors of my new office, I might not be able to blog.

So... I guess this is potentially a good-bye post. Albeit in the short term. hahahahaha...

I don't think that I have it in me to stop blogging.

watch this space...

So... It's a Tuesday then...

Hi...

It was indeed a rather refreshing break from the ordinary. But then, if you know me, you'd know that I don't really take breaks. I'd find something to do during my 'days-off'.

Friday was all about sleeping in, then a bit of cleaning up and the menial household chores.

Weekend was normal, busy with church.

Monday, I spent the entire day with the girlfriend, as she took leave to go on a date with me. Spent a lot... *Ouch* but it was worth it, as we did have a good time. But, do take note that although Fasta Pasta serves fresh pasta, made daily, the cheaper alternative at William's is much cheaper and tastes even better. So, what's there in a brand and fancy decor? Exactly that... Brand and Fancy Decor...

Watched the latest installment of 007, and it was good enough by my standards. It was more of a prequel to more bond movies by Danny Boy. Maybe that's why there are certain comments from misunderstood audiences that it's boring and all that when compared to Pirece's Version. But let's face it, we have a new 00, and we need to reestablish his status, his character, and frankly speaking, Danny Boy did a pretty good job in my books. He provides more raw action, he's more physical, and his cold blue eyes reflect so much, yet it says so little. But of course, puritans would claim that he does not fit the typical Bond mould and that he's more of a metrosexual rather than the 'Man's man'. But I'd say he is a refreshing change in the 00 series. And I just love the dialogue. If I would watch the movie again, it would be for all the words exchanged between him and Vesper. As an end note, I'd say Danny Boy makes me expect greater things from the next 00 installment. As for those who equate Bond movies with the girls and the cars, this will disappoint, as the car scenes are a minimal, and there's no one to introduce the gadgets to the audience. Well, there's nothing to introduce anyways.

On another note, a new guy came in. Poor guy. Must have just graduated from college. I hope that joining this firm won't kill his chances of making it big.

End of the Week...

I'll be out of the office from tomorrow unti Monday.

So blogging will resume on Tuesday.

Cheers...

I'll take these 2 days off to get a few household chores done. Heh...

And I have this thing to write also. Sien...

Mutiny in Full Swing

So, I walked in, switched on the fittings in the office, got myself to settle down.

And then a colleague walked in, and told me some shocking news: That my boss got tough with a colleague who made an honest mistake.

So, I guess the mutiny has taken a step forward, and fireworks might happen soon enough.

Cheers.

As of now, I'm really busy sending out emails.

Watch this site. I'll update as and when something happens.

heh.

~~~~~~~~~~

Edited a few hours later:

Phew, I just sent out countless emails.

My bosses are interviewing people up and down. But according to the poor fellas, it's the end of the year and people don't quit at the end of the year. Apparently. So...

I think they must've been planning for a mass exodus of the current batch of workers in January or February, but they didn't think that I'd resign in November. Well, that showed them that not everybody is motivated by money.

So, now, the situation at the office has been escalating, boilling slowly to a simmer. After a short chat with a colleague one fine morning, I think all of them are planning to leave as soon as the annual bonus is declared, and their cheques sitting in their hands.

And apparently, the gossip mill has churned up that this part-timer who left us after a month, was told that the company wasn't making any money, and that the company has been running on a deficit for months. If that is true, then there might not even be a bonus.

And if that is true, I wonder why the company is going to Bali for this year's company trip. Hhhmmm...

Well, I guess that sums up my bosses' predicament. Stupid.

Their actions and their speech doesn't jive at all. I am talking about stupidity beyond all logic; If the company has been making a loss, then cut out your exorbitant lifestyle, take a wage cut, and cancel the company trip! You don't declare that you're going to Bali with the entire company, spending thousands upon thousands of ringgit when your business isn't doing so well. You don't go on holidays and come back to tell us how much you've spent. You don't go buy yourself expensive watches and show them off to your employees, and with all that, you only afford your employees a meagre 1 month's bonus?

So, that's the entire deal with this company that I'm working with.

It saddens me sometimes, that I want to help them out, but that would mean I'm even more stupider than my bosses.

Sometimes, my heart tells me to empathise with them, but yet, logic tells me other wise.

Like I cannot get it beyond myself to empathise with such stupidity.

Well, maybe some of you might find it hard to deal with the word stupidity, but anything softer would not cut it. They are, in the end, very bad man-managers.

Up until now, they have yet to decide when they want me out of their faces.

So, I guess I'm caught in the middle.

It was a few months ago that I was told that I am useless and I have no future in this industry by the boss that is also my immediate superior. I thank her for that wake up call, and thus, I'm moving out from this joint. And now because I quit at a very difficult time, they are (almost) begging me to stay??

hahahahahaha...

Sometimes I hate to admit it, but I do think I leave with a little bit of vengeance in mind, and deep down, I think I'm enjoying it. It's not right, but I just can't seem to stop myself from thinking that they deservedly put themselves into such a tight spot.

I mean, it is difficult sitting this mutiny out, without taking sides, but this has caused me much unneeded pressure because of my neutral stance, the bosses use me to get to the mutant colleagues, and I am the one who gets shit from the mutants.
So I am very glad that I'm leaving this mess, and cease to be a doormat.

But then, I understand that this is not the main reason I'm leaving. If I had my way, I would've left a few months ago.

Maybe I am called to be here for a specific purpose, for a specific time.

Afterall, education doesn't tell you 'How Not to Treat your Employees'

So I was sitting at the office...

Doing nothing...

And then, my (soon to be ex-)bosses keep pressuring me on a few jobs.

They're demanding for this and that, and yet, they are not acting on anything.

It's getting a little weird. I was to leave this forsaken place asap, and it seems that they are in a situation whereby they are at the most uncomfortable. They need me, but they can't stand me and my little incooperation. Well, truth be told, my little insubordination isn't even 10% of what my colleagues are shoving through to the bosses. Yes, the mutiny is still on, going strong. All because this bunch of colleagues are pressed to a point whereby they've got nothing to lose. Some are prepared to start their own little business, some are prepared to leave, and all are waiting for their year-end bonuses.

Me, I resigned at the most inappropriate time, and this has seemingly put the bosses into some form of trouble. Can't seem to get a replacement anywhere it seems. Of course, that's because everyone is waiting for their year-end bonus. So in the end, I think I've played them a wildcard by resigning in Nov.

Now, part of them wants to get rid of me, and part of them needs me.

I know for sure that the Big Boss hates it when he's not the one who calls the shots. If he had his way, he would have let me go off asap, and I know for sure if I exasperated him, I could get myself 'fired' within the end of the day. But he is desparate because if I go out on sour terms, that means he's risking having no one to write for him for the next few months.

And the worst thing is, I don't mind leaving on sour terms!

I'm partially enjoying this time of mind games and also hating the tug and pull tactics of the company who still has yet to confirm with me when is my last day.

Well, I just got shouted at for some fault which was no fault of mine, and you know what, shouting back feels nice. Heh...

The fella shouted at me for sending an email which was not supposed to be sent, but I got instructions from my colleagues to send it to the client, and the fella barked at me for sending it. None of my fault... My job is to write stuff while mindlessly sending emails, how was I supposed to know that this piece wasn't supposed to go out yet?

Ah, well, my days are numbered... wait... that's not right... ahahahahaha

Their days are numbered...

It's gonna only get weirder and weirder...

Now, my last day is still unconfirmed. By right, I will be able to go off by the next Friday, November 24th. But the company is now contemplating whether my 3 months worth of probabtion should be taken into consideration. Well, normal practise is, you do earn a day's leave for every month you're with the company. One boss is trying to delay my leaving, another is trying to get me to stay back, another is 'cool' about it. But we all know that they would do without me if they could.

hahahahaa...

I shall update more when things get weirder...

Now the company is just a grumpy organisation waiting for something to blow up...

Like it says, 'Something's gotta give'....

What day of the week is it again?

I seem to have lost track of time.

No, I'm not THAT busy, but it does seem that my nights are a blur. I can't remember when I slept, or when I woke up, I don't quite remember anything remotely with falling asleep last night, or the night before!

My memory is a big jumbled up blob.

It's like this... I remember what happened on a particular Tuesday night, but I can't remember whether it was last night, or the night before.

This is bad.

Normally, I would go to sleep recollecting my thoughts, of what I did the day that's just passed, and what I need to do the following day, but for the past two days, I seem to have just fallen asleep, and in the morning, awaken to blank memories, only vividly remembering what's lodged in my memory as in 'What I did on Monday Night, or Tueday Night'.

Ah, well... life must go on... eventhough it's a vivid existence.

Of pains and gains

So, today, I woke up with a migrain.

It's funny how it happened. I remember sleeping on the floor at my girlfriend's place at about 9.30pm. Then I went home at about 1.00am, after an episode of the series we were chasing. And I went straight to bed! I woke up early on, long before my alarm was due, and it was caused by this migrain that's still banging my head.

This is gonna be a long day.... a VERY long day...

Lunch Time Update:

It's half past 2, and my colleagues are still having lunch. Well, they left for lunch at 2pm today. Traces of this morning's migrain is still there, albeit, I feel much much better now.

I am now reporting behind enemy lines, as my boss is interviewing new candidates for the company, I am sitting here contemplating a rush out, and tell the fella exactly why this company is not worth his/her time and effort.

Hhhmmm...

Mondays...

Lat night was a sweet & sour affair for me.

There was a wonderful party at church, had fun, had lots of good food, talked and had a great time with a few friends.

Then it started to go all wrong... Liverpool lost... Sien...

Ah, well... life goes on...

Just another crappy Monday for me then.

Oh, there's more reason for this melancholy. I have now been dispossessed of my car. Which is planned, but not really planned. Hahahaha... Well, I have lost the use of my car. I 'rented' it out to a church friend for a few months. This means that I am immobile, but it also means that I have more money to move around. And that is very much needed.

Gah... There's no rest for the wicked.

I need to settle a few things now. People to call, schedules to draw out, plans to make, people to call...

Sigh...

~~~~~~~~

Added during Lunch-time:

Well, life is indeed a funny thing. And I think God's sense of humour is dry, and really shocking at times.

You know, I have always struggled financially since I came out to work. Bad things keep on happening, money keeps on getting spent, and now, I have decided to resign, and do something that I didn't think I would be doing, I have been blessed richly. Since the day I dumped-in my resignation letter, money have just been pouring in and in. Now, I find myself in one of the richest times of my life since after I graduated.

Hhhmmm... Dumbfounding. This means that I have probably done something right!

Rest At Last...

This weekend, I declare as the weekend of rest.

Much needed rest.

I haven't had a weekend that I didn't have any agenda or responsibility to fulfill. This week, is the first since a good 7-8 weeks ago. I have to admit, that it has been quite taxing on me.

So, this weekend, I'm just going to sit back, and relax.

Gah... so many things to catch up on today...

It's just got hectic.

See yas next week...

Oh, next week will be a short week for me. The company will be going to Bali from Thursday onwards. So that' 2 days compulsory leave on my side. I'm not going.

Nice...

Breathe Easy

For those of you who have been following my blog, I have been rather depressed lately, and it's down to stress from all sides. I am tired from keeping track of everything, with limited resources, limited help, and limited understanding on a lot of things.

But now, at last, I can start to breathe easy. At least for a moment.

Respite has finally come.

I have been in a such tight financial situation for the past 3-4 months that I have had to count every cent that I spend. And that didn't do any good for my mental health. It was indeed like living in a pressur cooker. I had to turn down dinners with friends, I had to strategise when and how I should spend my money, I had to think about buying this or that and there's always something that needs me to come up with money. And every month, I just seemed to scrape through by the scruff of my teeth. I haven't been to shopping centres for such a long time that I'd probably forgotten how it felt to buy consumer goods.

There's just so many things you need to think about when you are working on a tight budget. And in between that, I had a wedding to attend, my car got kicked, I had to pay for a working trip, I had to replenish a lot of things. Life's hard when you have virtually ZERO disposable income. Do this cannot. Don't do, also cannot.

Sometimes, it's as bad as me having not enough money to traverse to work.

So, most of the 3-4 months stated above was just about paying a large amount of money so that I can get to work to earn a small amount of money. I hope you don't understand this feeling, cause if you do, you'd be very VERY poor.

And now suddenly, I am given this breath of air from my long and arduous drowning. *Thanks, if you're reading this.*

I have just gotten a rather significant amount of money. It's not a lot that it can cover all my worries, but it's enough. And last night, for the first time in a loooOOOoong time, was the very first dinner whereby I didn't have to worry about whether I was overspending. Well, I accorded myself this one 'bonus' just for last night. Gosh, was that good. It's like you've been deprived of fresh air, and then suddenly, someone sent you an oxygen tank, filled with air from the mountain top.

It was seriously one of the best dinners I've had in a long time. I'm not talking about the quality of the food, but the relief of being able to order almost anything without calculating the price of that meal to the very cent.

It's the satisfaction of being able to breathe easy.

And this has seriously given me a fresh take on life; That I have been under such pressure, without respite, only holding on to the hope that God will deliver me from this. And I have come to realise that my relationship with friends and especially my girlfriend has been tense because of that. All because I was calculative in my every move, I have tensed up the relationships with my friends. I have never realised that money would play such a significant role in my life. It's a rather shocking find, really.

And it's signs that money or the capitalist market that's been controlling my life.

I only wonder if it's like that with all of you lot.

Tell me... hhhmmm....

Tonight, I'll be back to my old ways. Self Control...

p.s. God is good. And suddenly, life is starting to come good.

Of Stuff...

It's a bit funny for me in life lately.

I think it's due to pressure from work, from friends, from my family.

Well, work wise, this month is the busiest in terms of internal rushes. The clients are rushing out quite a lot of things at once, and with the extra (not forgetting to mention stupid) work-load that's been heaped on me, I must admit that some of the frustration does overspill into my private life.

Now, I am the copywriter cum traffic manager cum email coordinator cum whatever cum going off soon.

So, during the course of a day, there will be moments of sitting down, doing nothing, and there will be times where the clients will be asking for a lot of things. At times like this, I will be so free that I can surf the net for footballing news, read blogs, write my blog, and chat.

Then, there are times where I am required to write some texts, send stuff out for translation, check the ad for mistakes, email artwork to the clients, re-emailing the same client the same ad, because the fella cannot receive, resend a previous ad to another client who wasn't included in the previous email, check things, do a mock-up of the final artwork, and all that. And the request doesn't come from 1 party. I am working with 4 other designers who would be rushing on a good 2-3 jobs per day. And I have to make sure every piece of artwork gets to its intended recepient. Sometimes, I need to perform a bit of Emergency crap cleaning also... sigh...

Well, I don't mean to complain, but all that does take a toll on me. I mean, I enjoy being busy, instead of vegetating at the office, but sometimes, these things are a hindrence to my real job. It seems that being a copywriter, you have to give your bosses much more added benefits too. And the thing I don't like particularly is that I am supposed to be responsible for every little mistake. And I only wonder why extra responsibility is not met by extra pay...

And I can bet you, the next writer will not be able to take up the same crap that I am taking up. I only wonder if there is someone who will be willing to do so many extra things.

ahahahaha... I might be a doormat, but I am an indespensible doormat!!! muahahahaha...

Now, all I need is to borrow RM30 to register my own company named 'DoorMat' from the Registrar of Companies.

I'll employ doormats like me to work as doormats at countless cheapskate firms like my current one. For all you know, there's a market for such crap.

ahahahahaha

Something for my mom

First of all, we would like to take this opportunity to greet everyone in love, joy and peace. The organising committee would like to thank everyone for coming from all over Sabah for this year's installment of our Class Reunion.

This year's Reunion is the 3rd time we are meeting since that momentuous day in 1974, and your presence here with us is a great encouragement to everyone. We, the organising committee, would like to take this opportunity to thank Vun for organising the very first reunion dinner 3 years ago. And if it were not for him, some of us would not have been able to meet up with each other for the rest of our lives since the day we left school.

After so long, some of us have kept in touch, but some have gone 'missing'. And thanks to this reunion dinner, we are able to come back together, as friends and equals. And as we gather, let us enjoy each other's presence with a sense of innocence, just like when we left school, when there was no status, when all of us had were our dreams of making it big in life, and as we contemplate both success and failure, let us learn from one another, and encourage each other in sincerity and love.

As we grow older, and wiser, I think that most of us share the same sentiment, where the most important thing in life is no longer success, nor riches, nor material wealth, but the ability to maintain relationships as our priority. 30 over years out in this world have taught me one thing, that is to cherish the moments of joy, to cherish good health, to cherish times of togetherness, of peace, and of kinship.

So, let all of us share this night as who we really are, without pretense, without status quo, and without prejudice, simply as ex-classmates.

With that, we from the organising committee hope that you will be able to have fun this time around, and do forgive us if ever there is a mistake here or there in our organisation for we are working with very limited resources.

And we hope that the next reunion will be a better affair, and not too distant in the future.

Once again, thank you, and enjoy.

Organising Committee Chairperson.

Demands...

Have you ever in your life feel that the demands on you are just impossible?

Sometimes it makes me wonder, that whether I got myself into such a situation, or is it that there's this piece of paper tagged behind my back that says 'Ask of me anything'.

I know God gave me such broad shoulders to carry such heavy burdens sometimes, but not when everyone and everything heaps them up on me.

I don't know.

Sometimes, when I am mentally 'ok', I can, and am most willing to help any poor soul that asks of something from me.

But recently, I just don't know why, and how...

Demands at work are wearing me down, demands from friends too, demands from ministry, demands from girlfriend, demands, demands, demands.

The worst of them are those that aren't even up to me.

You know, some of the demands on your life is to take care of what someone else is thinking?? Like, I'm getting pressure because there's this other party that's not thinking right?? And it's not like it's something that I can do to not make this other party not think like 'that'. I am in no position to control any person's mind for crying out loud... And I'm getting flak because of it... It's like, "I want YOU to eat more fruits to help ease MY indigestion."

Then there are the demands of you that forces you to go exactly what you do not enjoy doing. I've been fed up with a certain type of people lately, but it seems that my life is getting more and more episodes with such people lately.

Then of course, are the demands whereby you must be here or there, else you're not a good enough friend. These I call social obligations.

Then there are those who calls you to a certain function just because you have a car. 'Oh, but you are an important member of the team!!" then... "By the way, can you fetch A, B & C? They'll be waiting for you at the bus stop..."

Then to add spice to all these, I am financially tight... like REALLY tight... so tight that I don't think I can squeeze through without a miracle.

* Speaking of which, in true to goodness SaDdNesZ.jc culture, I picked up RM2 from the car park floor last Friday when I was walking around the car park looking for a way into the shopping mall. I seem to be able to pick up a lot of RM1's... I wonder why it's always RM1... and nothing bigger. Some people say God will only give you what you can handle... hhhmmm... that's it, God?? I'm only trusted with RM2???

Sigh...

Is there no respite from this???

Not off to a good start...

Had a lousy morning.

Got up a bit late, got into fight with girlfriend over some petty issue a.k.a. getting up late, waited countless minutes at the trains station (it seems that everyone's taking the LRT nowadays. 3 trains came full to the brim, and I got on the 4th train, thus, wasting a good 20 minutes waiting), arrived at the office to be greeted by a closed door (colleague who held the keys were late).

It's just not working for me today.

Greeted with hostility at work, as soon as I sat down to write this post. Mail this NOW! Why is this wrong? Why never check properly?

Sigh...

I just feel like walking out the door and go home.

This Monday...

I'm feeling bad this wretched Monday because of my Sunday.

I couldn't sleep last night.

My mind was telling me that I am dead tired, but my eyes refuse to stay shut.

So, yes, today is about 24 days before I leave. Well, I just got confirmation from the admin girl that I will be leaving at the last day of the month. On the dot.

Ah, well...

As for now, I need some serious coffee. And biscuits.

Gosh, thinking about it, I might just miss this wretched place.

And oh, there's more good news. I might get someone to take my car off my hands, so that I won't need to pay the installment. It's a 'rent' kind of thing. So... I'm praying for the best.

Heh.

Here's to a great week ahead.

I'm just tired...

No mood to blog, no mood to do anything.

Lack of sleep.

Work is piling up. I hate it when 3rd parties are involved. Suppliers are a hard bunch of people to deal with.

Sleppy...

Have I mentioned that I am sleepy again?

Markets, Marketing, Marketable

So...

My boss asked me into the meeting room to discuss a few details regarding my resignation.

And she duly asked me about my greviences, and maybe some suggestions how to improve the management and all that.

But most of the time, ONE little suggestion, even before I finished talking, would be met by a long and detailed defense.

And it was at this point, that she told me, actually nowadays, it's an employee's market. But then, as an employee, I feel that it's an employer's market... Well, anyhow, it's a bad market out there.

So, she was saying, that nowadays, bosses are afraid of their employees. They seem to be afraid of a mutany, and all that. Afterall, we are now very well-versed with the democratic concept of 'Majority vs Minority'. She went on to say that last time, when she just started out as a junior in an agency, she used to fear her bosses. But nowadays, employees do not share the same sentiment. So, yes, I do share that point of view.

But then, as an employee, I feel differently. I feel that I deserve to be given some rights, I deserve to be given some fringe benefits, I deserve this and that. And given the environment of the job market out there, it's harder and harder to find good jobs. Employers cannot trust their employees, employees do not want to do anything more than their jobs.

So I took a step back and looked at it...

Employers want high performance, low cost. Employees want low performance high returns. Clients want the bosses to deliver.

Looking for satisfactory jobs are never easy. Employers hold the key to this capitalist system. The power is in the Capitalist, which in this case, referes to the Entrepreneur. And thus, in actuality, the power belongs to the Bosses. The bosses hold the key to the employee's salaries. The bosses dictate how the business world revolves... The bosses are the ones who give jobs to the job seekers. And it is them who dictates how much every employee gets to spend on the economy. The economy is so bad that the clients aren't able to spend on anything except neccesities, but the employees want bigger houses, better cars... So the bosses are always stuck in between. Clients cutting budget year after year, employees want bigger salary increases...

Employees want a better life. Employers want a better life. Clients want a better life. But why is it that everyone cannot achieve such a want, together, since it's everyone's common goal?

In the end, something's gotta give.

There couldn't possibly be a way out of this mess.

Who do we blame then? The system? Blame 'Money'?

The problem is that everyone is stuck on chasing something that is perishable. Money. Money is scarce. The entire world of ECONOMICS runs on 1 thing: Scarcity.

So it's fair to say that Economics = Money + Scarcity

Money is always scarce. Needs are infinite.

But then, it seems that there is no end to the needs of everybody. And thus, I find it safe to assume that nobody can beat the system, save a few millionaires, and that's like less than 1% of the entire world's population.

So, why is it that we, the 99%++ of the world's population, are working to kill each other?

Just stating the not-so-obvious

My boss is still mum over the matter.

She just acts as if nothing happened. I can only wonder what she's up to. Now this makes me feel edgy. Did the piece of paper drop on the floor or something?

Yeah, yeah, TheGodlyLawyer's gonna tell me, "That's why, never put inside envelope..."

But then, whatever lah.

So, this seemingly weird incident has left me in a little more than a state of confusion.

My other boss is acting as if he knows nothing, still as irritating as ever, and he continues to irritate.

Ah, well... time to sign-off. I still got loads of stuff to finish up on. Clients are being impossible, everything is an emergency job. like EVERYTHING!!!

And I couldn't sleep last night. There was a match going on.. hehehe...

bah.