Impossible...

It's just impossible.

I have literally nothing to write about. So I guess I'll just rant...

It's been a rather long week for me. Crisis in the company, worried whether my paycheck will arrive or not, stuff to do, work, ministry, responsibilities, balancing the books, a lot.

But then, at the end of it, what do I achieve?

Nothing... I have not made any terrific advancements, I have not made any promising contribution to anyone, and all I am doing is to simply exist.

Sigh... this is depressing...

I so didn't want to come to work today...

Thank God...

Pay Cheques are out...

Erm, well, I guess that the company does have a cache of more than RM56K lying around its coffers...

Or are they just trying to give us the impression that all's well.

From the reactions that I got from friends, most of them are trying to look at this current 'crisis' from a positive attitude. But somehow, something my heart still refuses to feel positive about this. Partially, it may have stemmed from the fact that I have no interest in the welfare of this sorry excuse of an ad agency, nor my bosses, because sometimes, from their actions at the office, it warrants a 'See, I told you so' or 'Serves you right'.

I wouldn't say that they are the worst bosses there is, but they do need to set their priorities straight. Well, maybe I should not judge them based on what I see, but what they have been portraying themselves as really kind of pisses everyone off.

I am still actually very much thinking about the implications of the major loss resulting from a trivial (but vital) mistake made by my colleague, because when I mentioned it to my mom on the phone last night, her first reaction was 'Wah, that means no bonus for this year loh?'

How true.

Which makes it a lot more easier for me to leave this sorry estate...

An RM56,000 Question

What does it take to make an RM21K mistake? ~Wait... Latest news, with special colours and all, RM8 per piece of the mistake... (additional info added at 8.30pm)

1 Blurcase.

Ah, now I fear for my salary. I don't know whether I should have such a sentiment or not, but I am not the least bothered by the loss of RM21K on my company's part. I am more bothered by the potential loss of RM2.1K on my part...

Well, it started off like this. My colleague, Blurcase, made a trivial error on the size of a piece of artwork. I don't know how, but she managed to get the sizes wrong and thus, when the printing of the real product came into play, we made a loss of RM3 per print, times 7,000 pieces. (RM3 x 7,000 = RM21,000 Simple maths)

So, now, tell me... how many companies out there have RM21K lying around to absorb this loss??

Well, in hindsight, she is not entirely in the wrong, but she does play an integral part in this. Well, she's been making loads and loads of mistakes with her artwork. Sometimes, she prints out the exact same thing for me a good 5 times in an hour just to ask me to check. And everytime I check, there'd be errors. Some of them new errors because she moved things around, and some of them are just plain left out. I had to tell her to change 'Favorites' to 'Favourites' for like 5 times in the same day, and in the FINAL check, it still came out Favorites!!!

I think the bosses also have a hand in this in a sense because they didn't keep an eye on her. Well, if you hire a cheap employee, you'd have to expect that the fella knows next to nothing and keep a good eye on the fella. So, that's the reason why I am not the least sympathetic with my bosses. It was their decision to hire this Blurcase in place of other more experienced (and expensive) employees. But then, you could argue that it's such a simple task, and normally, no one could get this thing wrong. But of course, shit happens... It always does.

It is that bad.

So, she was given this seemingly simple task of reproducing an old piece of artwork, with very VERY minor changes. And she nailed it... I mean screwed it!

I won't go into details yet until the deal is confirmed. (To protect myself and my bosses, just in case some good client of ours reads this...)

But do remind me to tell you the outcome of this later.

So now, I am braced for my bosses to tell us that we don't have enough money to absorb this cost... and the inevitable will indeed happen.

Now, for my RM21K question: Should I be sympathetic or should I just leave at the first glimpse of an opening?? Should I offer to be 'sacrificed' and go look for a new job somwhere else? Or do I at least attempt to stay on-board until the very last minute?? What's the normal etiquette on this?

Seriously, I have never had myself in such a situation before.

Oh, it's the end of the month, and our paycheck's aren't out yet... Bad signs indeed...

I just feel...

Depressed...

Maybe that's the word... but then, it's just an emotion which I can get out of.

Sometimes we blame too many things on 'medical' conditions. I am a peson who doesn't subscribe to that. I believe those who hide behind such 'conditions' are just a little weak in the mind.

Let's put this objectively, I know there are people who are battling depression whereby their minds are all twisted and they can't function properly given the slightest pressure compounded on them. These are extreme cases whereby normally, it takes years and years and a lot of counselling and mood controlling pills to control and heal. Some are known to never come back to 'normality'.

But for those who conveniently hide behind such 'excuses' I pity them.

To the strong at heart (and mind), depression is just nothing more than an excuse to escape from doing something you don't want to do, or feel like doing. Well, the truth is, feelings fleet at the slightest change. I can feel so nice now, but maybe a second later, something would happen and make the nice 'Bad'.

Well, I'm contemplating such an excuse, but I don't quite like the idea of subscribing to a weaker mentality.

I guess I'm just feeling depressed right now.

Career...

I've lost it...

I seriously don't know what I want now. I mean, I can be so many things, but yet there are so many things that I don't want to be.

Maybe I've been a tad too much on the low-confidence side of things. Possibly an eagle who hung around turkeys too much, thus, losing the ability to fly. And I'm not only talking in terms of body mass here. It's the mentality.

I am on the brink of a career change and only now I realise what I am losing. I have been hanging around small agencies for too long now. If my ex-classmates can make it big in big companies, then why not me??

I've been to countless interviews at small and medium sized agencies and these people have no regard of where I came from.

Only last night, after chatting with a friend (I've been doing a lot of that lately) that I realised that maybe I should use my University's name more. I mean, most of the agencies that I have been working at don't even know what Monash University is. Heck I wonder if they know how a University looks like.

So, I thought to myself. My parents paid through their noses for me to get a good education from a good establishment, why am I flashing it at those who don't even know what it's worth? Why not put the money spent into good use and use the piece of paper that says 'Ba in Comm' from Monash University Malaysia, a member of the 'Group of Eight' prestigious Australian Universities.

What have I been doing for the past 2 years trying to hang around turkeys?? I am an eagle.. I paid for my citizenship to live in the remuneration region that says 'For Eagles and High Flyers only'. Why am I flashing my genetically well built wings at a bunch of turkeys who have no need for wings??

hhhmmm....

Maybe that's why I'm so fat... I need to get myself to a big BIG company and skip a few lunches and dinners for the sake of work. Then I'll be able to fly.

Crap...

Compassion Without Compromise

One of the more obvious paradoxes that you'll see, but that is what we should be doing.

A lot of man-managers outside have very strong character and rightly so, they think that they are where they are because of that. Well, yes, an uncompromising character does get you places. Afterall, what is a leader who doesn't have his/her own stand? A leader who does not have a clear direction in his/her leadership is one of the worst kind.

But strong character normally means no compromise. There are a lot of things happening in the business world that you and I will face. Some things can be compromised, some things, when compromised, can bring disaster. But most man-managers, out of the instinct to save their own asses, have come to a stage whereby they protect themselves so much with policies and practises that leave very little space for compassion.

Most of the time, such managers do not realise that not all their employees/subordinates are simply not 'them' and thus are unable to perform as they can. Afterall, if they can perform on the same plane as you, then why would they still be your subordinates?

But then, there are also leaders who set targets based on who their subordinates are. They move the goal posts closer to the ball so that it's easier to score. That is a lot of compassion, but it is compromised leadership.

So, I urge all those who are in position of leadership today, to learn "Compassion without Compromise".

I was chatting with a friend and out of the entire chat session, I seemingly came up with this.

We were chatting about things like how to lead people, how to handle difficult cases, and how to be an effective leader.

Well, to me, a leader should be a compassionate person; knowing what their subordinates need, what are their situations. But yet, by doing so, their leadership should not be compromised as well. My friend was telling me that we cannot find capable subordinates because they have a lot of personal issues that needs to be dealt with. Things like dedication and commitment to the organisation versus dedication to personal gains.

As a leader, we should try to understand them, walk in their shoes for a bit, and try to know what they are facing and going through. But that doesn't mean we need to stand down on our leadership direction. It's all about changing our approach without changing our direction. What can we do to get this person to perform the task that's set by the leadership without changing the expected result?

Well, if you're able to do that, then you've successfully mastered the trick of Compassion without Compromise.

Football has taught me a lot of things. And from watching the worldcup, I see that leadership is vital. And which country will go on to win the worldcup will be the team who uses their best people in their best positions. Being a leader, you also need to have an eye in spotting out who goes where, putting the best man in his best position.

That is why, England will not go far. England is a team filled with stars and personalities, but the problem with the manager is that he does not use the talents that he has available to him fully. He plays people out of their favourite (most effective) positions and thus, everyone achieves/uses about 70% - 80% of their full potential.

As a leader, you shuold be able to know that this player passes the ball well, and thus, you give him the job of passing the ball around. You know that this guy does good runs, then you let him run, you know that the other guy reads the game very well, then you let him dictate the and control the team.

When you play everyone in their best position, everyone performs at 100% and when everyone beside you performs 100%, you will be able to achieve more than 100% because a cord of three strands is not easily broken. A team of 11 people playing at their 100%, you will go places. But if your team keeps on playing at 80% of their full potential, then that's all you get: 80% effectiveness.

I'm back!!

Momentarily, at least...

Ah, well, the dust is just settling on the mad-mad rush from two weeks ago, and I am now having a little more time to do my 'snaking'.

Well, updates for all 5 of my avid readers, I am now still stuck with this sad, sad establishment that's a sorry excuse for an agency, and it seems that people aren't ready to fork out extra money to hire a fairly experienced Copywriter.

Well, I do think that most of the employers in the Malaysian market always goes for the cheaper employees without considering that what they pay is what they will get.

It's always buying with 'cheap is good' mentality instead of value for money. Don't they realise that how much they pay equates to how much they are going to get?

So in the end, what do companies get? They get freshies for a fraction of the price, and they spend endless years trying to bring them up to par with thier expectations. But of course, as we all know very well, freshies don't stick to one place for long. They are young, fresh out of the oven, and raring to see more of life. So, what do you want?

I've been going to interviews, but I have not been offered anything to date. Maybe it's my asking price??

Well, it's frustrating in a sense, but then, it's not too bad...

Well, I'm still feeling sickish from two days ago and I have som much going on for me tonight... sigh...

Until then, I'll still be blogging sporadically

Sad day...

It's a sad, sad day for me today.

First things first, my arowana died last night, leaving me with a stiff 2-foot fish floating in the water, belly-up. And as things would go, I had to fish it out of the tank instantly to prevent it from rotting, and stench the entire apartment unit.

Then, once I arrived at work, one of the jobs came back and amounted to a whole pile of messy changes and costly mistakes.

I feel so down.

The boss feels even more down, and everyone in the office is feeling down.

I hate it when I make costly mistakes.

It's all a mess lah...

Sigh...

Back to my haitus...

Tough times ahead...

I have taken up more responsibility at the church and also, I am much, much more busy at work.

So, priorities being priorities, I have sadly decided that blogging will take a back step and thus, I will be going on an indefinate hiatus.

If we do not live by priorities, we will live by pressure.

:)

See yas...

Sparingly...

Interview??

Interviews can be a very fun thing to do. Sometimes you meet with the professionals who will both intimidate and threaten you, then you will also get those who don't even have a clue of what they're doing. And then there's the type who will even meet with you although both parties know that one won't be hiring the other.

But last night's interview takes the cake!

I went to this rather good agency for an interview. They seemed to be nice people, a bit rough on the edges, but the set-up looks impressive enough.

But the bosses are the worst kind of interviewers. It's as if they haven't been to interviews themselves. I was running the show as an interviewee instead of them. I wonder if and when they hire me, I'll be a dominating presence or not. They are just a bunch of suckers waiting to be slaugthered! No wonder they work until the late nights. They tell me that going home at 10pm daily is a normal thing as the clients keep on changing and revising the artwork. But then they just told me that they don't do above the line stuff!!??? And that means that they don't have press/tv/radio deadlines to meet!!! and these people work until 10pm daily??

What??

These people are a bunch of softies that are there to do their clients' bidding.

The seem to be on the rise, and are on the brink of hiring quite a number of employees. But then, working until 10pm daily?? and on alternate Saturdays too??? like... WHY???

Well, I'm not counting my chicks before they hatch... so, I'll only worry about the choice once they offer me somtehing.. ehehehe..

Told you that their willingness to interview me after office hours wasn't a good thing...

until then.. back to work...

The Usual...

Mondays...

I just hate Mondays...

Ah, but at least I get a little time to blog. I have been rather pre-occupied with a lot of stuff with regards to translations and writing.

I've been involved in this booklet that's getting transformed into Arabic to cater for the Middel-Eastern Cash Cows that's gonna be migrating to Malaysia for summer.

Ah, well, it's a long and arduous task, but someone's gotta do it... And likely so, the smaller (more desparate) agencies get all this. Capitalist pigs.

So, with all that in mind, I am actually still busy, work is starting to pile up on my desk, and it's getting messy. I haven't been this busy since I came in here, but that's just because I took up more responsibility. And there's no pay rise... I just hope that tonight will be a good one between me and the interviewer.

Who knows that parking rates at 'Perdana The Place'??

As you all know...

I have been busy...

A lot of coordinating business to do lately. We've been pressed for time, and I've not have a lot of time to snake as I am accustomed to...

That explains the missed post yeterday...

yes, yes... the master procrastinator has a real job sometimes and will fall prey to the thing called 'busy' too...

Well, the good news is, It's the Weekend!!!

And oh...

I've gotten myself an interview on Monday Night... The usual copywriting position...

I asked for 2.8K and they still called.. so maybe... I will get a chance... Hopefully I'll be able to nail this job and leave this forsaken agency that's heading no-where...

Until then...

I'm still busy... a little

Diconcerting News...

But expected in a sense.

My boss came in and asked about the jobs we have on our hands.

Then he begrudgingly commented on our 'incompetance' and other stuff.

Then he mentioned about the company going down.

ahahahahaha...

Well, I would have expected this one day, but not this early!! Well, the way we do things around here, there's bound to be trouble some day.

I mean, all we do here is just for 1 client. And once this client of ours don't give us jobs, we are as good as dead.

I only wonder why the bosses don't go out looking for new accounts... Maybe it's about time I seriously looked for another job.

So, this is some pretty 'good' news early in the morning...

I'm a bit busy now, but I'll try to tell you more about this little agency that I work in, the bosses' characters and their dificult points.

until then,

Back to work...

Life's Tough...

but sometimes, God throws you a bone.

You know, sometimes it's difficult trying to live in this world.

3rd World Country, inflation is always higher than your increment, and you're expected to make it on your own when your salaries can afford you close to nothing, then there are commitments, personal and religious... Life's hard...

So I was this guy who's been believing in God since a very young age, and I've been committed to a religious establishment ever since I remembered. I have grown up through the system, taught to walk in the ways which would make both my parents and my God proud, taught to give time, effort and money for the upkeep of the establishment, so that other people may be blessed through my giving, and that others may share in my joy of knowing God.

So, there was this day that I found myself in need (not want) of a lot of new things. And thus, as a God fearing person will do, I leave it to the very last resort of asking God to provide for me, since I have been rather faithful in giving my time, effort and money. My clothes are old, I have been wearing the same two pairs of jeans for the past couple of years, and I haven't had a pair of new shoes since before I came out to work, which is now almost two years... And the people beside me have been so kind as to notice it. I would get a new t-shirt out of the blue from my sister, or a new shirt from a group of friends although it's not my birthday. Well, I count my blessings.

But yesterday, it was a direct piece of divine intervention. Well, I have long known that my clothing and accessories will not last me forever and will one day deplete because of wear and tear. So I was praying for God to deliver me. My casual walking/working shoes are already in its latter years and have a full-round stitching from the local cobbler that costs RM15. Well, the RM15 went a long way. It prolonged my Adidas experience for a good 6 months more now and hopefully for a long time more.

My football boots haven’t been as lucky. It has served its purpose well, made a few good crosses, a few goals, and loads of fun time with the lads. But now, the glue on the bottom has lost its hold on the leather and thus, there’s a gaping hole on the side. A whack of the ball and my little pinky toe will be able to breathe easy.

So, I asked God, “God, I know you can do al things, and sometimes I lack a little faith. But now, I seriously need either of these two things from You. Either make my clothes and accessories resistant against wear and tear, or give me the money so that I can buy what I need. I have been living without want for sometime now, and You have been taking care of my needs, so for this time, I really NEED a pair of boots liao.”

And God delivered!!!

I just bought myself a pair of Genuine “PUMA” Leather football boots for RM59.90!!!

It costs RM239.00 in its prime, but now, since the model has been discontinued, and the pair I bought was one of the last few pairs, it was priced at RM99.00 with a 40% Discount to boot!!!

Woohooo!!!!

I have been playing football with a ‘loose’ right foot and that has caused me much tension and unwanted jibes from the lads on the field. I even resorted to playing on the left side of the field so that my right leg (and boot) will only be used for running and balancing.

But this week, I’ll be back to my normal best!!! Woohhhoooo!!!

This is seriously a miracle. I have never bought a pair of genuine leather anything for RM59.90!!! That’s seriously crazy… muahahahaha… *Oh did I mention that the boots were cheap because they were all small sizes and the size that I wanted was the last of its kind? It was the display set!!!

I have a friend who wanted to get himself a pair also because his, like mine has opened up and separated into top and bottom. I so wanted to call him up but there wasn't any size that fit. So, it was a true miracle that happened on my life. hehehehe...

Lads, watch-out for my crosses from both sides of the field… I am back... and with a vengeance!

I'm smashed...

Like in every other Monday, I feel deflated and smashed the moment I woke up. It's like having been rammed by a 10-tonne lorry when i was sleeping.

Refused to wake up. Procastinated. Snoozed.. (A lot)...

i just don't feel the urge to blog anymore. Writer's block perhaps? Or is it that I don't want to repeat stuff that has been discussed before in my earlier posts??

Life in general isn't too bad, but it isn't too good either.

I've been quite busy for the past couple of weeks that I haven't had the time to call home. At last, I did manage to call home last night.

A weekend dedicated to our parents in church reminded me that I need to take care of my parents all-the-more. They've spent so much time and effort raising me up, and I just hope that I have not let them down so far.

And I guess that all parents, in the end of the day, only hope for ONE thing: that they have brought up their children well enough to get on with life without them. And I too hope to accomplish that when I become my kids' parent.

A man's success is somewhat very much determined by how well he holds his family together. Like I alwasys say, a big-shot president of a multi-national corporation will only be respected if he carries himself and his family with success.

If he is so effective during work, and his son is effectively a drug addict that's constantly going in and out of the rehab centres, then his legacy will be that of his son. People will go to his death bed and see him as the father of his druggie son instead of seeing him as a successful corporate leader.

So, as parents, don't ever neglect your family...

And children, don't disappoint your parents.

And that is the entire summation of life.

Wah!!!

I almost died from hiccups yesterday...

The thing just kept bugging me. After lunch, after dinner, when I sat down suddenly it came... when I stood up it suddenly came... on... off... on... off...

I had never had it this serious before... EVER!!

Ah, well...

The badder news is that my cheque hasn't cleared yet. I'm still stuck for cash. I just hope I don't get into too much trouble with my loans and credit card bills.

So..

What's new?

I'm busy these days, no time to think about life and its funnies. so...

Hiccups...

I keep getting Hiccups...

Darn.. I hate Hiccups...

It's been happening since the *Hic* morning all through the drive to the *Hic* train station. Then it *Hic* stopped. And after a few biscuits *Hic* for breakfast, it came back again. *Hic*

This is as bad as bad can get. I can't talk. Whenever I talk i'll sound exactly like what you've read on top. I'm not exaggerating. It is that frequent. It comes every 5-7 seconds.

~~~~~

So I was travelling back from work yesterday and I saw this overtly confident fella with two of his friends walking into the train at KLCC and well, by this guy's 'confidence' I straight away had a feeling that he was a 'devout' Christian. It seems that certain Christians have this 'aura' of being overtly showing a confident face whereby you can detect the falseness in his confidence straight away. (Y'know, the type of confidence that you would expect from someone trying too hard to look confident) Well, my hunch was confirmed when one of the friends turned over to face me and I saw a Planet Shakers T-shirt on him.

Well, they were talking about this and that, and from their conversation, I got to realise that the two fellas were new around here and the overtly confident fella was bringing them around. Maybe a hometown friend?

And so they talked about churches and all, and it was revealed that the two new guys were actually looking for a church. And this guy, suppposedly thier guide or senior was telling them about all the good churches around PJ and KL. There's nothing wrong with that. I mean certain churches have been known to be better in certain aspects than others. But one thing that I was actually quite appalled by the fella was that he was promoting all the big churches around PJ (that's where the two friends were staying) and teached them methodologically how to 'choose' a church. Well, he spoke like he's been giving this kind of advise to a whole lot of other kids who came to the Klang Valley for their Tertiary Education. Maybe he's a counsellor for Old Christians in a New Town kind of thing?

"You should go to this church for at least 3 weeks to gauge whether it's suitable for you or not. Because y'know, you can't see much from one single Sunday." (insert Bobby Trendy'esque expression)

"Then after that, only you go to another church for around 3-4 weeks to see if you'll be more comfortable there."

"But do bear in mind, that you should give yourself a target by which you must find a church to settle down within 3 months or so."

What are we teaching our younger generation??? Alamak!!!

If you are supposed to choose church like you're hypermarkets, then you might as well go to the most popular church in KL. Now, seriously, if it were for you to choose, then why not spend your entire life hopping around the few hundred churches we have around the Klang Valley? Or should we just pass these two guys a directory of churches complete with an analysis chart of what the church is strong at so that they can choose to 'grow' whichever part of their spiritual lives that they feel lacking?

"Oh, I feel like I lack a little bit of Bible knowledge. I think Church A suits me better."

After a few months, after being 'transformed' by Church A into a strong Bible believing Christian...

"I think I have upped my level of Biblical knowledge and I feel my Worship life is somewhat lacking. I hear that Church C is good in their worship and music ministry. I'll go there for a few months."

I mean WHAT THE .....???

So now churches need an advertising agency to promote and advertise and to build their brand?

Only then it dawned unto me that we live in different times. We are Christians living in a world of Consumerism and we are therefore Consumers. We have been given the freedom of choice. Yeah, we have so many freedoms. We're so free to do whatever we like until some pastors simply go and open their own church because they are not enjoying what they are doing in their old church.

(Hey... I think anger kills hicccups...)