Ouch...

I sliced my left thumb with a pen-knife on Tuesday night. It bled profusely and I had to exert pressure on it for the entire night until the next afternoon.

The wound's healed over now, the bleeding's stopped, and I could now see the cut clearly, where it started and where it ended. It starts at the finger nails, and slices through to the middle of the finger.

Ok... if you were wondering, you can try holding a letter opener, a long ruler. Place the ruler on a piece of paper, place it accordingly, and run the opener through the ruler, and imagine the cutter slipped. You'd see where it'd cut. The only thing that stopped it from getting any worse was my finger nail. So... it's THAT deep a cut.

Now I have a bandage over my thumb, and I have practically lost the ability to use my left hand with full capacity. It's not everyday I find myself weakened like this. Handicapped.

But it is these circumstances that remind me that I am not almighty, I am not indestructable, and I am not God.

Save Our Nation

Yes, yes, to those who know me well enough, you didn't read me wrong...

I am known to be one of the most anti-establishment persons among my circle of friends. I do not like rules and regulations that make no sense to me. Thus, this actually tells you my whole understanding and my point of view on the government and the law.

It's a little freaky to have been inspired to sing the song 'Save Australia' by a Christian band in church, but to change the lyrics to suit our local context. It is also a little freaky to watch Evan Almighty. It is also a little freaky to have read countless news articles about the Malaysian Dream that was birthed by our nation's building fathers.

For my entire understanding life, I have never seen the need to accomodate the rotating Sultanate system in this country. But only of late, since the newspapers are publishing story upon story about those who aspired to build our nation into a truly united and peaceful conglomerate, filled with happy citizens, all working hard and willing to die for the land which they were born into, working for a better tomorrow, and sacrificing ourselves for the Malaysian Ideal, only then I knew that there are indeed some good rulers in this place.

The Malaysian Idea was born not out of greed, nor out of self-preservation, but out of an ideal that we, can make it as a nation, and that we can be great.

But look at what we have become today. It saddens me that the people of today actually got smarter but know less about what our country was built for. We have now turned into a people where when given a chance, will leave this country for 'a better tomorrow'. We have become a nation that has lost hope in itself; a people that is only thinking about saving our own skins; a people who don't want to be associated with our actual nationality. Just take a good look at your friends. How many of them actually think that they are 'stuck' here? How many would go out to Australia for studies and not come back? A country that was set-up because of vile convicts is now more appealing to us than our own land where our grandfathers died protecting?

The Malaysian Idea, in the beginning, if you can read between the lines of the articles that, only until now, are published, was of a nation that is united; a nation that is sovereign; a nation that saw our leaders sacrifice for the people of this country; a nation that had so much potential, a nation that meant something to its citizens.

But somewhere along the way, something went wrong. And what you see today, is actually so far from the ideals that our nation's fathers have envisaged. And we could only ask ourselves 'Why?'

I'll tell you 'why'... Coz someone once wrote 'Everything rises and falls with leadership'.

So, God must be trying to tell me something.
1. Our nation needs help; His help.
2. Changing the nation starts with one act at a time.
3. That there is still hope.

Fire with Fire

I'm supposed to be a thinker... But judging from the fact that I have contributed anything that constitutes a thought worth processing in my readers' minds, I have not been thinking as of late...

Yes, it's early morning, and I thought that my diarrea was gone... I am up until now because I had a bloated stomach and couldn't sleep. Then the bloatedness came with diarrea... I'll spare you the juicy details...

So, it seems to me that I haven't used my brain to good effect as of late. All I've been doing was purely execution and not much of thought. It's all strategy, and putting it to work. That's why everything is like a well-oiled machine that runs smoothly without my intervention. All I need to do now is just to be there, and make sure it runs.

But I guess that's not who I am... Maybe I should learn to supervise... like, talk more, and do less... But that's not who I am... Those who know me knows very well that I do not subscribe to supervision, but I subscribe to working together. I would rather be the captian who's leading a team than to be the manager of a team shouting orders from the sidelines.

Maybe that's what I need to learn... Hhhmmm...

So, those who has interests under my supervision, beware... I'm gonna call you guys up soon. As soon as I settle a few issues with a few other guys...

Meaningless Existence?

Yeah.. Life's been rather meaningless these past few days. I think I get myself into such a challenge every few months, where I've been able to control most of the things that's in my job capacity, and thus, things become mundane once again.

To me, it's become meaningless since most of the things are done smoothly without the need for me to be around, and I'm talking about a week-in, week-out kind of thing. So, I guess I can stand a lot of things but I just can't stand being useless, or being mundane.

I need a new challenge in life.

Oh, I'm blogging at this hour cause I'm awakened by the bout of food poisoning that hit me since Monday night. I took a piece of mouldy cake and the body is still reacting to it with fever and diarrea. I've been taking charcoal pills and I shit funny now... heheh...

Rest at last...

Yeah, I'm pathetic in this area.

I know I've been complaining about this and that but it was really until now, that I can say that I have really, seriously rested well since like a long time ago.

Well, truth be told, I just don't feel like doing any writing lately. I've been given a few life-lines here and there, simple free-lance jobs to help me earn a little extra here and there, but it's not like I have the time to do any serious writing.

I come home every night, late, and I just can't bear to think and concentrate on writing anymore. My mind is just filled with the day's events that there's not much room for thought.

Well, here's another fact. My life has just taken an unexpected turn lately, and I'll see where things will go. But it includes a job somewhere else.

So, what I do from now until the end of next year has taken a change of heart and strategy.