Battle Cry

Yes... I can hear it... and why was I so stupid not to see it earlier...

It's about time stuff came back to haunt us, it's about time the enemy takes a swipe at us, and it's about time to be calling the whole church to pray earnestly for the new building project.

What'dya think, that the evil guy will just roll over and let us build this thing easily?

Of course not...

So yeah, everyone who reads this shall be fore-warned... We are approaching the battlefield. Attacks have been felt, and the opposition will only grow stronger.

So take heart. Do not lose focus of your goals in Christ. Do not let the evil one play with your emotions, toy with yoru weaknesses, and get your life into turmoil.

This reminds me that I have to get my act back on track and soon too...

Checklist:

1. Pray for the leaders individually
2. Pray for protection over property
3. Pray for focus
4. Pray for God to be sovereign in all this

Weirdness..

It was weird i tell you.

I woke up, as usual, and I grabbed my crowing phone. Then, even before the snooze kicked in, I was awaken by my own sweat. It was weird. It's early in the morning, the sun wasn't even shining, and I was waking up bathing in my own sweat?

There's something wrong I tell yas...

What's next?

I seem to be the person who cannot sit still doing the same thing my whole time. I wonder what kind of career would suit me the best. My girlfriend just told me that she's good at implementing systems at work, and would most probably suit best in doing jobs that are to me super mundane.

So, I guess that is why I keep on asking myself, "What's next?"

Well, sometimes, in life, there is no 'Next'. I sat up from my attempt to go to sleep last night, asking myself, "So now, I've done all this. I can see the foreseeable, but that's not far enough. "What's next?"

But I guess I am made this way, to keep on asking myself what will be next. And after that? and thereafter? I guess I work better that way.

All I can say now is that only God knows what's next. Me, I can only hope that I am on the right track. I hope that I have not deviated from God's plan for me in my life. But then, I won't know until the appointed time that God will reveal to me.

So, it's actually killing me that I can't determine 'What's next' in my life.

Updates

So yeah... Life's ok thus far.

We've got the consent to have our wedding in the present church building. We've asked for an extension of the rental agreement, and we'll have this place until 31st Dec. So that's good news. And that means I can actually go about printing my invites.

Oh... We'vechosen our wedding rings too, but we haven't bought them yet cause the retailer who sells it didn't have our sizes. My only concern is that there might need to be an everyday ring for me because I'm used to carrying things around and I am rather rough with my fingers. So there's this huge possiblity that I might squash and break the ring. So, I am mulling over whether to get myself something that I can wear on an everyday basis on my finger, and possibly hang my wedding ring on a chain. So, yeah... that's one of the things that's going on in my mind right now.

I guess that's all for now.

Epiphany?

Erm... yeah... no big-boobed-american-indian-lady-guide though...

But yeah.. I was living life as I would do, struggling to keep everything in check, monitoring some issues regarding two of my friends, getting jobs done, last minute works, cover ups for my colleague and it suddenly hit me.

1. I can't do stand up comedy to save my life

2. People love me for my perfections, because I set myself up perfectly as a public figure, but only my girlfriend loves me for my imperfections.

And oh... Updates on the wedding:

My girlfriend and I were talking about our marriage plans and the possibility of a venue change at the very last minute, and we deviated a bit from that topic.

I'm trying to think of a polite way to say, "I'd prefer cash if you insisted on giving us something for our wedding."

But this sounds so much nicer, and it's the truth, really:

"I know you are compelled to not come to our wedding ceremony empty handed, but we really do not needs gifts. Our apartment is this small, cramped place that's already filled with household junk that needs to be thrown away. Our kitchen is fully functional, and we have everything that YOU need. Have we ever said 'No' when you wanted to borrow kitchen accessories from us? That's how well stocked our kitchen is. So, there's nothing you can buy as a gift for us, really..."

And besides that, I think we're gonna have trouble trying to fit too many people into too small a church premise.

I know that it's a difficult job, but it's a possibility that we're gonna be printing more invitation cards than we first expected or envisioned.

I have a friend who did their wedding at our present premise, and I think the turn-out won't be too different.

So, help us God.

Invite Cards?

Come hither, share our joy
Come forth, enjoy

Come one, come all
Come to witness an adage of old

Come to bless the convergence of souls
and be blessed by the fellowship that beholds

Come November 24th,
Come to the church that's themed

as a rose.

Confidence?

Sometimes I wonder if people around me do take note of everything I say or not. Sometimes I ask myself if I am speaking clearly ot not. Sometimes I doubt that what I say is taken for what it's meant.

Communication is indeed such a hassle.

But I guess in the end, it's a matter of confidence. I have met people who can talk a whole lot of nothing but still sound convincing. I seriously wonder how he pulled such a thing off. I was sitting there, looking at him talk to a client, and while the client was believing every word he says and listening ardently, I couldn't even make heads nor tails of his words. Big jargons were thrown out without much thought, I swear it was all in English, but nothing made any sense. But he did it with pure confidence, and the clients bought it.

Suckers.

It just goes to show how much you can get away with if you can speak English confidently, and also possess the ability to string a whole lot of big words that have no connection to each other whatsoever into a sentence. I am still baffled by it.

All you need to do to sound convincing in Malaysia is to talk fast, insert big words sparingly, make sure the person on the receiving end knows that he has a lesser grasp of the lingo than you do, and voila. You're a genius!

How much sadder can this nation get?

oh... judging from the fact that the gomen is dishing out so many 'feel good' changes to our lives, I'd agree with all those who are speculating that election is coming.

5 years unpaid leave? I've seen departments and companies closed down after 2 years. 5 years on, and your job would still be waiting for you? Hah!

But what do we care? We're Malaysian. All we need is to be able to feel good.

I've been living in secrecy

Yes, I've been living in secrecy for a good period of time now. I haven't been sharing my life truly to those around me, and I have been keeping a lot of secrets whereby I am not at liberty to divulge to anyone anywhere.

This is tiring in a sense, cause I can't really have any 'real' fellowship with anyone around me. I have to block off so many things from their knowledge just because it's a secret. My life's been in a limbo lately cause I have been doing things and meeting with people who can directly or indirectly change the course of my life. But all through this, I can't say or tell anything because everything is on a pending kind of stage. Nothing's confirmed, and I can't say anything that will bring detrimental effects to what I have built up so far. One wrong word, or one wrong slip of tongue, and a lot of things may fall and crumble.

Maybe it's one of those things that happen when you get higher up into management.