Builds a wall...

I've been going to this teachers' training programme that gathers all the rural schools in the area to improve on the teachers' teaching skills and to revolutionise the whole teaching process.

It's a good programme and it really is a welcomed change from what we were so used to when we were students.

The training is besides the point. What is bugging me now is that there's this teacher who joined us half way and is going about, rather disturbingly, carrying herself around as if she owns the place. I mean, if you'd look at it from the outside, you'd think that she's just bossy and shows a tad too much of initiative for everyone's liking, but deep down, after having sat beside her for the entire session, I can see that she's just a poor kid who had a low self esteem which grew up to be a rather big bully. She had somehow built a wall around her and installed a steam roller in front of the wall so that she would get what she needs however she needs it.

Amidst the tough attitude that she carries around with her, she also carries in her back pocket her old insufficiency traits; seeking for clarification on the smallest matter, especially if she knows the correct answer, fighting for the right to be correct even though it a petty little thing and the points don't matter, sets her targets on whoever is the best in class to probably trample on them so that she can step higher, makes a fuss although its a game of learning and everybody is supposed to win, bellowing out little petty things that the trainer has overlooked and the such...

Throughout the entire class she kept summarising the trainer's points into her education jargons like methodology, pedagogy, non-visual cues, and all that mumbo-jumbo perhaps to show me that she knows her stuff, afraid that I'd undermine her if she didn't show me how much she knows... Sitting beside someone like her only kept me from listening to every word the trainer said... Being a teacher herself, I wonder whather stand is on one of her pupils talking in class when the teacher is teaching... Her insufficiency creeping out...

Well, a lot of people don't like her for who she's turned out to be. There's a lot of wind outside about her and what she is capable of doing just so that she doesn't lose out; kiasu. And from what I see, she is doing nothing to suggest otherwise.

I on the other hand, am feeling a tad sad to see someone like her doing what she is doing. Maybe it's the compassion that God has put in me that's speaking, but I find it rather sad that she's built a wall around her to protect her hurting spirit and since no one can penetrate this wall, I don't think she'll ever be told how to get herself out of this.

I don't know what's sadder, that there is such a person or that I cannot do anything to help her...

Democracy?

It's walking on the strange side of things when we take a closer look into the political scene of our country and you try to gauge it together with the politics of the rest of the world. Just a simple litmus test will do; Compare Democracy in Malaysia and Democracy in the USA.

We have had so much of consistency in government and leadership that the country has grown in leaps and bounds. And America has seemingly changed Presidents every 2 terms. At the rate it's going, one has to wonder what have we been doing with our country.

I must be mad to conclude it as such, but then, a blog is used to make outrageous conclusions anyway, so do excuse me if you find this uninteresting.

I believe that there is a solid system behind the American system of democracy. There is proper and sound societal welfare, although poverty is still an issue in America, just as it is here, but they have put in their system a working implementation of it. Whereas here, it seems otherwise. And I can only wonder why.

Our cries of reduction in poverty levels are such a far-cry that we sometimes fail to understand why we are fighting against poverty anyway. So we can find statistics that there are people who are living with less than enough money to survive by our standards. But have we failed to take into consideration that they have been surviving none-the-less? If I make less than enough money to buy my groceries, would I not plant my groceries in my backyard? So what is this notion of trying to help a big chunk of society that still plants their own vegetables in their own back yards? Who grow their own corn? Who rear their own poultry?

Why are we, as a nation, so engrossed in 'reducing' the poverty gap when we don't see people dying from hunger? Why are we trying to 'reduce' the gap between money made in the city and money made in the rural villages? The government hasn't even set up centers whereby the homeless can come and have their 3 meals a day for free. That means that the homeless could still pretty much gather food for themselves without any help from the Government.

So in actual fact, it's not that bad.

But the question remains. Why is our situation as such when we have experienced about 50 years of political stability with a steady transition of leadership from successor to successor and the implementation of a national ideal that dates back to more than 30 years ago and we're still fighting the same war?

Why then has America changed from Liberals to Democrats and back and forth and every time they change parties, the president changes as well. What do they have that we don't?

A properly implemented political system. Theirs is a system that anyone who becomes president will have to work in. Whereas ours, it seems that we are making the rules along the way. I guess it all goes back to the maturity of the nation. Although we can skip a step in terms of modernisation, but it seems that civics needs to be grown step-by-step. I wonder how long until we grow up.

Up, up and away??

At last, there's a bit of publishable good news to pass around.

My car's in the paint room and I guess it won't be too far off from returning to me.

The school's been given the endorsement by the Minister, and the Dept's coming to give an inspection next week.

And I'm going to be speaking to about 300 youths tomorrow.. erm.. later today about love... I have my points written out, but I am not definately sure that I'll do as planned. It's a bit too informative for me to give a 10-point sermon on something as emotional as 'love'... So I'm still caught in two minds.

Well then, we'll see how it goes...

As for now... Happy Valentine's Day...

The best laid plans of mice and men...

...are but plans that have no determined course of action. 

The life of an average joe today might be quite well planned, it might not be. But with a better chance at education, I believe that everyone has learned to plan. It is therefore somewhat saddening to know that it is truly too huge a mental task to plan ahead. I have met kids who, when asked, have never put their minds into any planning at all. And then I realised that I didn't have that when I was their age too. So the question remains. Have kids actually grown smarter over the seasons? 

They say that with the internet so adamant today, there's virtually nothing that a kid won't learn. But the thing is, what have they been learning if they don't seem any smarter than their predecessors? 

So this makes us think; with all the technological advances that we are experiencing today, who is/was better off?

Updates...???

Life's starting to 'feel' normal around here. Got a nice break during Chinese New Year, spent time at home, having relatives visiting us, visiting relatives and just taking a rest. It has been quite some time since we were able to sleep in. Life starts so much earlier in Sabah as compared to West M'sia. Birds start chirping at about 6am whereas 6am in KL is still very very dark. 

Last time I used to purposedly wake up early in the morning just to listen to the birds, but now, I just don't give a rat's butt. Heh. 

And it's exciting being and expectant father. The family's being diplomatic in knowing the news that it's a boy. I guess they just don't want to be seen as being heavily favouring boys. Well... Anyway, it's a boy and we're happy to know. So now we can definately start buying baby products that are blue in colour. 

We still haven't moved to our 'permanent' house yet. We've struck the deal with the owner and will duly move in by the end of this month. The school hasn't started yet and it seems with the situation in Perak, it's going to get postponed some more because the minister would be busy with forming the new government there. 

Well, I guess it's all old news since nothing's moving as fast as we would've liked. So we're just taking it one day at a time and trying to prepare for stuff. I am currently busy trying to plan for the lessons. It's a tough job planning because you won't know whether you're doing the correct thing and giving the students work that will suit their level until you've seen them. So... It's all in a mess now. Hopefully, after the board meeting today, most of the issues would've been sorted out. 

Cheers...