Follow-up...

Yeap... That's my car in Tawau's workshop, waiting for its forensics report... The mechanics have propped up the car to see its under belly, to determine how badly damaged it is...

Only now I see the severity of the damage...

It is gonna take SOME time to do up this car. Some ppl have actually doubt that it's not gonna survive long even if it gets properly fixed...

Ah, well...

How many days?

Yes... How many days since I've last posted anything?

It has been that long since the internet in Tawau died. It is THAT bad...

Why did I even contemplated coming to this internet forsaken place in the beginning!!!???

Well, updates as updates go, there's nothing much to be said as of now cause nothing much is happening... Every thing is stuck because of some administrative restrictions, and we're just sitting around at the office working on things that might collapse at the very end of the hour. Yes, we are working, but at the same time, we're not supposed to work... Well... if you get my drift, you get my drift...

Anyhow, the place is bad.... internet is down like 2-3 days in a week, and sometimes, it stretches through an entire weekend... how to work like that? Need information also cannot search...

It's difficult when we advertise the new school as 'technologically advanced' especially when 'technology' is not available like 3 days of a week. I can just foresee that some assignments won't be able to be handed up on time just cause the net wasn't working...

Lousy place...

It's a new life...

A new beginning has dawned upon my life. It's all about settling in for these 2 weeks. Everything's changed, and everything's gonna keep changing.

Change is the only constant in this world. It's all up to us, fickle human beings to make decisions, and it's due to our fickle nature, everything keeps changing.

The markets keep changing, the lives of people keep changing, and everything keeps changing. There's a theory that says if you stop for a second, and change will overtake you. So, yeah...

Bear with me as I try to keep up with change.

I try to be an agent of change, but it seems that there are societies that are tougher than others.

Life's tough...

The Cutting Edge

I knew something was up when Tim Lim looked at me just before the last song... so yeah... and I have to give Ivan a tight slap when I meet him for boosting up my volume...

But jokes aside, I think I would need to re-explain myself about the cutting edge thingy that I said when Pastor put me on the spot without warning. Somehow, I did figure that he would do a stunt like that, and I did prepare a little bit. But that was all I really had in my mind. Do no lose your cutting edge... ever...

We are a church that is built by using cutting edge technology and also philosophy, and let's keep it that way. Everything we do in Faith Christian Centre is all about changing for the better. There's no such thing as a good model or system that we should follow all the days of our lives. There's only the 'relevant to now' system. We must at least be as fast growing, and fast moving as the society out there. Once we lose our cutting edge, we lose all relevance to the society.

I am saying such things because I've been away and back. I took a step out of the system and revisited it. It sometimes takes a move like that to see things clearly, however, in our Asian working culture, we do not always see that. We are either pushing towards a certain goal with our heads down, teeth and muscles grit together digging our feet into the issue, or we're leisurely strolling through whatever happens around us with our heads held high, thinking that we're good enough, we're the best, nothing can beat us... None of us actually stop from our norm and look at the issue straight in the eye. Albeit some of us do, and these are who we call 'the visionaries'.

It does take a visionary to foresee change, or to even plan for change. And unfortunately, not everyone has both these charateristics. Some only have vision, but no powere nor will to make things happen; these I shall label as 'critics' - N.A.T.O. (No Action, Talk Only). Some have the political power or will to move things, but have no vision; these are your typical 'politician', popular but good for nothing.

So yeah, I think I have just killed a few people with that paragraph up there, but my point must be made that it takes a visionary to get an organisation to move on the cutting edge. It's sharp, it's dangerous, it sometimes hurts, but that's the price everyone must pay to be at the cutting edge. Once you lose your cutting edge, you lose your relevance, remember?

And why do I say so? There are churches out there that I see who used to be on the cutting edge, but now no more. Change of leadership, complacency, lack of knowledge and burn-out are all the factors that come into play.

Let's be philosophical a bit here - say, 10 years ago, you stumbled upon a winning formula that worked miracles. The system brought countless people to church every week. The system hit all the right buttons of the society at that point in time. But because it did you wonders doesn't mean that it doesn't deserve a review every now-and-then. Simply because soiety changes. What used to be popular culture 10 years ago is now looked upon as 'old-school' or should I say 'old-skool'. And since we're talking about an organic society like a church, we are also talking about keeping up with the times. And this refusal to change according to the times in most churches have actually made them redundant today. That is also why certain churches stay the same yesterday, today and forever... well, not forever, cause by about 50-60 years from now, all of your current members will be dead, and if you do not reach out to the new generation, then you're toast.

But yes, in general, people of yesterday and the people of today think very differently. We are so different on so many aspects of our lives, for example the way we handle and value money, time, relationships, and honour is so radically different from those who were our age 5 years ago. The newest word on the street is that a generation gap happens every once in 3 years. You think PSP is so cool today? Well, 3 years from, now, your younger brother will think that you lived in a cave when you were his age.

So, yeah, if society is so forcefully advancing, to the point of relentlessness, then why is the church so proud of its traditions? I am not saying that traditions are bad here, but the unreviewed following of traditions will almost surely leads to religiousness, and religiousness is somehow the counter argument for spirituality.

The balance must be sought somehow. Certain traditions are good to be followed, in fact there are some timeless traditions like the holy communion that should be at all times held sacred and looked upon with reverence and fear. But stuff like how do you handle your youth ministry, how you handle the small groups in your church, how you make the Word of God relevant to the society of today is very important. You must live like the head, not the tail. You cannot be the head if you stop running in front of everyone else. For the split moment someone overtakes you, you are no longer the head. And the church must recognise this! We must never stop being at the cutting edge of society.

Yes, the current system may have served you well, miraculously and abundantly at times, but is it still the cutting edge thing of today? Only you can be the judge.

Updates...

It's late at night and because I slept a while during the evening, I am wide awake now in the wee hours of the morning.

It's been about 3 weeks since I've been in Tawau, this being my 3rd weekend, and it seems like so much has happened. I haven't even gotten grips on how to live my life here. Adapting to a culture that you 'think' you know too well is a problem. Sometimes, I think I'm just paranoid, but then, there's nothing to underestimate about Tawau.

I am still not gotten a grasp of the passing of time. Which can only mean that my body is not adapting as it should, or used to last time. It seems that time passes so slowly, but then, I seem to loose track of time. I can't remember what day of the week is it simply because I used to count the days by what I had to do. Now, it seems that my time and jobs are rather irregular that I don't remember when is cell group, what time is practice, and basically what I am supposed to do each day. Maybe I should've gotten a 'Hi, and welcome to Tawau; Your Mondays are A, B & C at what times, Tuesdays are Free, Wednesdays are E, F & G at what times respectively, etc. kind of brochure.

I totally lost track of the sense of time that I failed to realise that I should be going back to KL this coming week to fetch my dear wife back to my side. Maybe it's the lack of such a partner and companion that I am in such a dire situation. My focus is not entirely here in Tawau, and I still have loose ends all over the place.

I hate it when life is not settled.

Coming back to the accident, in retrospec, I do feel that it was a blessing in disguise. I needed to get my car fixed anyway, but not under such circumstances, but financially, I might not have the ability to fix it anyhow. Anyways, the main thing is that now we have proper evidence to 'feel' that the fella who hit me fell asleep behind the wheel, and somehow, managed to keep driving in a straight line towards my car. The odds of that happening are like so slim, but it still happened, I wonder if God is trying to tell me something. But wahtever said and done, I am ok now, the day after the accident, my neck was under such agony... It felt the worst when I washed my hair... I can't apply pressure on my neck, but yet I still needed to...

Well, I guess I should just give God the glory and the thanks for keeping me and those in my car safe. Thanks also for those who helped me out during the incident. 2 cars came all the way back from Lahad Datu just to help me, and for that I am deeply grateful.

As for what I am feeling now, I miss my wife. And pray that I will have smooth passage back to KL on Tuesday/Wednesday. I haven't bought my tickets as they cost a bomb. Might as well wait for the very last minute.

I guess that's all for now. See you guys in Sunway soon.

Life is precious...

Dear all,

Life is precious indeed. But then, I knew God won't let me off the hook so easily... So, yeah, I'm smiling at the storm...

The incident happened like this;

Me and a group of friends went to Sandakan over the Raya Holidays.
We were on our way back to Tawau, on the stretch of road just past the Gomantong Caves Roundabout.
A car came from the opposite direction, into our lane, and was on course for a head-on collision. I honked at him but he still kept going straight. So, under the split second reaction, I could only swerve to my left as there was on-coming cars from the right, but still I couldn't manage to avoid the guy. I could still remember the smashing of my side mirror and the crash that followed.

I spun into the ditch and thus, the damage is as follows;
Front Bumper - Gone
Rear Bumper - Gone
Rear Left Light - Gone
Right side of Car - Gone Entirely (both doors, side view mirror)
Rear Wheel Axle - Gone (my right wheel was totally broken off its suspension)
Rear Wheel Rims - Gone
Exhaust Pipe - Gone (Good riddance)

All those will need to be replaced totally.

5 seconds earlier or 5 second later, and I would've avoided the guy.

Poor his insurance seller. My car's gonna get a 6-8K job I think.

So yeah, if you see a car with that plate on sale, don't buy it...