I Love You???
Well, if you've watched enough soapies, then you'd have realised that Americans don't simply utter the 3 'magical' words until they are VERY VERY sure about it. Couldn't say the same thing about thier marriages though...
Teen flicks will always play on this. The girl goes out with the guy for some time, but they aren't dating... They're just 'seeing each other'... then when the girl feels that it's gone far enough to secure the relationship, she will coax the guy into saying the 'I Love You' first... Or if she's desparate enough, she'll just say it... Only after that, it's called dating.
Sometimes, it is also that important that it is 'he' who says it first... All too often we see the girl's friends harping on 'WHAT!?? You said it first!!???"
So what's the big deal with saying 'I Love You' first, to the person that you're seeing? Afterall, in then years time, after you get two to three kids, and both of you grow older and 'wiser', the next 3 'magical' words would be 'I Wanna Divorce'. Well, not exactly 3 words, but that's how it seems.
Why is is such a ritual of only saying "I Love You' when you're absolutely sure, but when things start to fall apart, you don't work towards mending the problems and take the short cut out??? Somehow, the idea that I get is that they are more easy on the 'I do's' than the I love you's...
So this means that they are more concerned with who they love instead of who they marry?
I have been addressing this issue for quite a lot of times now, that a marriage is supposed to be worked at, and not supposed to be based on feeling. And to me, the "I Do" always supercedes the "I Love You'...
I mean, I can always say "I Love You" to any girl that I fancy, but I can only say "I Do' once...
I have always carried this in my mind that if I fail in a relationship, then I should learn from it and move on... But if i fail in my marriage, then I would have failed in life.
Simply because a relationship is supposed to last an average 3 years... but a marriage should last you possibly 50 years if you're lucky. (Remember 'Till death do us part'?)
So, in actual fact, I do feel that the flicks and ideas we get off it is as if the Americans cherish and value 'I Love You' (Dating/Courtship) more than they value 'I Do' (Marriage)...
Divorce is just an easy way out... Always is, Always will be... Irreconcileable differences my butt...
posted by SaDdNesZ.jc @ 1/16/2006 05:32:00 pm
4 Comments:
is this the same problem that occurs among young couples in church? breaks my heart everytime i hear of a breakup...=(
B: I hope it's not... Well, we cannot be the judge of 'WHY' couples break up, simply because we will never know the full extent of what their situation is...
All I can say is that I know of some couples who have struggled long and hard, fought the good fight, but in the end, they still cannot live with one another... That is the only time, as a leader, I would endorse a break-up...
Normally, if ppl come to me for advise, I would get them to ask themselves, "Are you 100% sure you can live without the person?" Only when you're completely sure about it, then only you go for the break-up...
But breaking-up is not a bad thing, divorce is... That's why we encourage couples to date for a significant amount of time before taking the plunge...
thnx des =)
"Irreconcileable differences my butt... " i like your vocabulary haha~
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