Friday, October 21, 2005

Two sets of Friends...

Everyone needs at least two sets of friends.

Well, the reason behind this is simple. Each group of friends play a different role in your life.

I realised that in a Cell Group, people are more caring and more serious in their relationship with one another. This is normal because everyone is there to contribute to the direction of the Cell, which is to minister to one another, and to share the good news. In a cell group/small church group, members are always showing you the negative side of their life. People come to cell group prepared to share, and to care for one another. This is supposed to lift everyone's spirits, and members should be open to share each others problems. But this is subliminally negative. When people share to you their problems, it sends out negative vibes. Although it is vital for mental support and spiritual growth, one cannot live off this group solely.

The second set should be casual friends where you just have fun with, no strings attached. Where their cares are taken cared of by someone else. This is to balance the negativity that you get from the first group.

Now, when you're in a group of people who are always sharing with you their worries, and you care for them, and share their hurts, you are getting negative vibes. Therefore, sometimes, they will seem to be nothing more than whiners. Sometimes, their needs are so immense that you tend to see them as the problem. You meet them, and go "sigh, it's him/her again." And if your life revolves only around such people, you are going to be a real sad case.

That's why sometimes, it is good to be able to just have fun with a few friends who do not know your sad cases. They look at you from a more positive light, and you don't know their worries either. All you are concerned with is a good game of basketball with each other, or a good session of 'yumchar' where all you chat about is maybe the latest trend in fashion, or the most stupid thing you've done in the past week. You just have fun together, no seeing the negatives in life.

These people make life fun. They inject joy into your life. And being with them (because you know nothing of their problems) you don't see their problems when you see them. Although it is a superficial relationship, it is a lifting change from the gloom of negativity in your life.

No one will be able to live a balanced life with negativity all around. No matter how big a heart you have for your friends, no matter how much you can try to care for everyone beside you, sometimes, you need to purposefully inject some positivity into your life.

So go out and make a 'fun friend' today.


Anonymous miche said...

actually i don't like to attend cg...the meeting always drain me out, mentality and physically.

October 21, 2005 10:32 am  
Blogger SaDdNesZ.jc said...

that's because you're giving and not receiving..

try to change that.

Everyone thinks that cell group is there to serve thier own purpose, but fail to realise that they need to contribute as well.

You'll get tired when you're the only one contributing, and trying very hard to get things going.

And maybe they're not open to each other enough...

October 21, 2005 10:36 am  
Blogger Chief said...

sometimes it'll depent on teh cell itself, there are cells where cell members 'gel' very well and they have lots of fun. they shart their troubles as well as joys.

October 21, 2005 10:51 pm  
Blogger BeaWuzHere said...

ya....cell group members can be fun oso mah....not everyone is there to 'whine'....some share their encouraging testimonials too....and it's great to hear how God has blessed their lives ^_^

October 22, 2005 4:27 pm  
Blogger SaDdNesZ.jc said...

Chief: It's not about whether they gel or not, it should be about making them gel as a group. They must realise that the cell does not exist for them, but they exist for the fellowship of the cell and fellowship with God within the cell.

Bea: Being a cell leader, I tend to focus on the negatives. This is because the negatives are the things that I have to react to/sort out. If the member is having a great week, then Great! Nothing much to worry about. But if a member is having a bad problem on his/her hands, then I need to be concerned.

So in order to get my mind off things, sometimes I need casual, non-commital, whose problems i know nothing of, friends to lift my spirits.

October 24, 2005 2:02 pm  

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