Monday, October 10, 2005

A time to refocus.

The common man on the street has no time. Therefore he has no compassion.

Compassion is something that is selfless. It is the putting of other people's need above one's own. It is stepping into others' shoes and trying to understanding their situation.

More often than not, we, as selfish as we can be, never think or act in compassion. We only know how to think of ourselves, what we want, what we need, what we can get other people to do for us. Everything is I, myself and for my own benefit. Such people have no compassion and no understanding. These people will come to you with requests that are always over-the-top.

It's like you ask someone for a favour, and this favour comes with terms and conditions. I mean, you are asking for something that is supposedly given by grace, and yet, you still have the nerve to dump in a few terms and conditions??? How does that work? If someone wants to help you, he or she will help you on his/her terms! Who are you to ask someone for a ride, and then throw in that you need to be somewhere by a certain time? Who are you to ask people to help you fix a leak at your house, but it must be done tomorrow, before 9pm? How can you even dare ask someone to help you do something and ask them to do it within YOUR OWN convenience??

You are asking for a favour at your convenience and at his/her INconvenience. How does that work? And if the person doesn't help, you say that we are not performing our duty as a friend? That is pure bullshit and selfish!

If I can and want to help, I will help! I can come at your convenience once or twice, but EVERYTIME???? I have my own life to lead too you know. I don't live for you. I have feelings too you know. I have my own time constraints and things that I need to do within my own time frame you know...

I believe that friends are supposed to help each other out. And we should try our best to do so. But when a 'friend' is only interested in taking advantage of you, then it's a whole different case. There are some people in this world that know you as a friend, but has no time nor interest to fellowship with you. Everytime they give you a call, it'll be asking for a favour (that comes with a condition) of some sort. Anything else, they will leave you alone. Now, how does this friendship work?

Being individuals that we are, we have constantly fail to realise our own wrongs in friendships. We treat friends as if they are banks and credit cards. The friend who gives me the most benefits is my best friend. The friend who always shuns away everytime I ask him/her for a favour is 'not-friend-enough'. What kind of person does that make us? When friends shun away once, you think that they don't like you, when they shun away twice, you think that they're not your friends anymore. But how much of a friend have you been to them? Have you contributed anything towards the friendship? NO!!! All you've done is ask, ask, ask and ask for favours that sometimes undermine the friend's personal time and sacrifice.

If I am this type of 'friend', that makes me no more than a blood sucker.

So, in this moody Monday morning, contemplate on your own life, and cultivate some compassion in your life. Try thinking on behalf of your friends before asking them for a favour. Ask yourself, how much of a friend have I been before you open your pie-hole to ask of another favour. Afterall, all your friends actually need is a little bit of caring, and a little bit of compassion, and a bit of understanding. And if both parties give, both parties will always receive. But if one party always asks, and the other party always gives, then only one party receives. And when one party always gives, then most likely, the source will dry up.

Be a real friend. Acknowledge a friend today.

11 Comments:

Anonymous Eric said...

an email "intercepted" by fellow blogger Eric...

Desmond buddy! I need a favour man. My house has this serious water leaking in the bathroom and I really need your help to help me fix it. Can you do it before you go to work tomorrow morning? Thanks ya. I'll spend you man... next month if I got the cash. Ciaoz~

Sincerely your friend,
Mr. Blurd Sacker

p/s - Please help me clean up the bathroom after you're done. Thanks.

October 10, 2005 5:49 pm  
Blogger SaDdNesZ.jc said...

Eric,

You can go suck your own thumb...

Thanks.

October 10, 2005 5:58 pm  
Blogger Gab said...

*grin* a feeling of deja vu...things always happen for a reason. No matter friends treat you badly or take you for granted, take things with a pinch of salt. It's a way to reflect to you their true colours, their true nature.

It's rare to find ppl who will listen with empathy and lend a hand. Too materialistic, I would say it sucks but everyone sees life differently. It's a heterogenous world after all.

Be gracious, if you know they're over-stepping the boundaries, keep away. Always have the limitations. It'll work wonders. ;)

October 11, 2005 2:56 am  
Blogger SaDdNesZ.jc said...

gab: I would have to disagree.

Keep away, and you lose a friend. Confront them and there will be breakthrough. It is normally through all the confrontations that true friendship gets purified by fire.

When you've reached a breakthrough, you'll be friends for life.

Keep your distance and your friends will become acquaintences.

October 11, 2005 9:31 am  
Blogger Chief said...

girls do a better job at being a friend than guys.
i don't make friend easily but am extreemly loyal when am a friend.
friends are 'family members' you get to choose.
cell members are not necessary friend !

October 11, 2005 10:13 am  
Blogger SaDdNesZ.jc said...

Chief: Cell members are more than friends. They are your surrogate family.

You're supposed to share and care for each other more than a family should.

If you're not a family with your cell members, then you've got a dysfunctional cell...

Refering to my post dated today, a cell will not function well if everyone treats it as a ATM machine. Everyone is there to suck the blood out of the cell leader...

A proper cell should have a group of people who are willing to contribute and do the chores of the household.

You can disagree, but that's what i believe.

October 11, 2005 2:15 pm  
Blogger Amanda said...

Well.. the world is full of this kind of people. Everyone looks after their own benefits. Most of them fail to appreciate.

But I feel that we all should learn to ask for favours as well. Instead of helping people out all the time. Give people a chance to help you in return. I'm sure there'll be people very willing to help you in return.

Then maybe you wouldn't feel so bad :)

October 11, 2005 2:58 pm  
Blogger SaDdNesZ.jc said...

Blood sucker will only suck blood. when you ask for something in return, they will conveniently be busy...

Sometimes, the only help one can get is by learning something and helping oneself...

Saddening...

October 11, 2005 3:50 pm  
Blogger Gab said...

forgive me, i wasn't clear and missed out sth...i'd say, keep ur distance when u'd oredi confronted those leechers who suck u dry and there's nothing much left to do. not all will respond positively in confrontations..been there, still there. *sigh*

ppl walk in n out of lives...leaving imprints..it'll be best to remain friends, bt more than often most die out or just remain as acquaintance.

frenship is nvr single-sided, communication has to be reciprocal.

October 12, 2005 2:20 am  
Blogger Gab said...

mispell: leech

October 12, 2005 2:21 am  
Blogger SaDdNesZ.jc said...

gab: well said...

October 12, 2005 9:33 am  

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