"Grace points"

In any relationship, there's this tank.

This tank fills itself up with "Grace Points", just like Bonus Link/Real Rewards/Isetan Card/Jusco Card and the like. The more you spend on the relationship, the more points you accumulate. The more you invest, the more points get stocked up in a person's tank.

Whenever you get to know a person, a relationship starts. And a tank for 'Grace Points' is made in your mind for the new friend. And when you invest in the relationship, you build up your collection of 'Grace Points' in his/her tanks. I have tanks everywhere with my friends and I keep a tank for everyone of my friends.

Well, 4 weeks ago, I was running on empty on grace points. Everyone seemed to have used up all their grace points in my tanks. And I became this monster with this huge attitude. I got annoyed easily, and I refused to be re-fueled. It seemed the everyone went on a frenzy and redeemed all their points at once, without re-fuelling.

I shunned all kind of responsibility. I purposefully avoided the encouragement, I just didn't want to be re-fuelled.

When one gets an empty tank, it takes time to fix the problem. You can't simply pump a full tank all at once, when you've upset the tank, it takes time to refuel. It takes time to trust the person again. It takes time to resolve outstanding issues, and it takes time to heal the upset tank.

If I cherish a relationship, I will never let my supply of Grace Points run empty on anyone's tank. I would rather stock up, and not redeem my grace points, and let it overflow. Because when it overflows, I am the one who benefits as well. But if I use up all my points, then I have an empty tank with the person, and if I redeem more than I have inside, then the tank will bust.

And when this happens, I lose the trust that I have from this friend. It's just like a credit card. When you've busted your credit limit, the bank trust you less. And they will be very cautious in giving you a new card or a higher credit limit.

But somehow, some people don't understand this grace points system. They only know that they can redeem and redeem and redeem, because their parents never taught them to do otherwise. And sad to say, this is a sorry case, and there's a lot of such 'redeemers' walking around.

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Since we're on this parent topic, let's go deeper.

There is this generation of young kids out there that have been spoilt by thier parents. I have been told that the 20-odd year olds of today are in between the two generations. There's the X generation which are totally independant of their parents. And there's the Y Generation which are very much dependant on their parents. And being in this age group, I am the 'in-between'.

The X Generation grew up having totally being responsible for themselves. This generation was brought up on the concept the they will learn thier own way in the society, and they did. They are more aware of their social responsibilities, they are more matured in thinking, and they are the rebelious kids that cared less what their parents wanted from them. To the parents, as long as the kids grow up fine, get a job, and earn their own living by the time they finish school, they have done their bit as parents. The children expect nothing from the parents, and they demand nothing. They can't wait to be independant of their parents.

Generation Y, however, grew up under the total protection of their parents. The parents are totally protective (most of the time over-protective) of their children. These children know very little about the society outside. All they understand is that their parents give them all they can, and just because they are their children, they have a right to demand. They think that their parents owe them all the benefits that their peers are getting. They grew up demanding, demanding and demanding. And the parents duly obliged because of peer pressure from other parents. Sometimes, it has become a race as to who can lavish thier kids with more elaborate accessories. These kids grew up wearing the best that this material world could offer, wearing branded goods even before they know how to demand. They do not know how hard it it to earn an extra buck, and until they come out into the workforce, they will never know.

And this has created an entire mob of brats out there who know nothing of the rules of the 'older' society. They are not afraid to ask friends for favours and act as if their friends owe it to them just because they are their friends. They do not understand responsibilty and they do not understand the law of reciprocating a favour. They just know how to ask, ask and ask, demand, demand, and demand. And the worst thing is, they think that you owe it to them...

So, young parents out there, make sure your kids know the price of responsibility. When you ask something of someone, make sure they know that lunch doesn't come free. And most important of all, teach them how to reciprocate favours. Lest, they become blood suckers that have no regard for respect and responsibility.