Saturday, September 24, 2005

I am who I am...

That's God's line... hehehehe...

Only God can say that, because He is the Ultimate. We, as humans, are a creation of our past. We are created from the recollections of our past. How we think, how we act, are all a product of our past experiences. Character is developed and changed whenever we meet with a turning point in our lives.

So..

I am only doing this because I have nothing else to do in the office on a Saturday morning.

I am the existentialist who thinks nothing in life is good because in the end, we all die.

I am the boy who ran his mother up the wall from the age of 1 (hopefully not until now)

I am the kid who grew up faster than everybody else.

I am the kid who cried and wailed and pestered my mother to enrol me into Kindergarten at the age of 3.

I am the accidental leader (Class Monitor when I was in Primary 1)

I am the Class Monitor who pronounced 'Ketua Darjah' as 'Ketua Gajah' after the first day of Primary School.

I am the kid who was made into a Squad Leader in Boys' Brigade because I was the tallest in my batch.

I am the kid who went through his entire schooling life holding a prominent position in class. (Yes, I've done it all: Pengawas, Ketua Darjah, Pustakawan, Penolong of all the abovementioned, and even Penolong Ketua Pengawas)

I am the guy who did more than he should.

I am the guy who ran out of space in the 'Ko-Kurikulum' segments during primary school (My batch had 102 students and thus, I got to represent the school in almost all its Competitions; Basketball, Ping-pong, Badminton, Football, Handball, Athletics, Keselamatan Jalanraya.)

I am the kid who finished his UPSR English trial exam in 15 minutes to rush for a Keselamatna Jalanraya practise, and scored 98%.

I am the train that rushed into everything only to hit a wall later.

I am the guy who tried to do the impossible by attempting to get invovled in a relationship at the age of 12. (We just finished UPSR and had nothing better to do, so I thought it would be good to get myself a girlfriend.)

I am the guy who got ditched/ignored/I-also-don't-know-what-happened-to-the-girl-until-now by the girl mentioned above.

I am the guy who ditched a perfectly fine specimen of a girl when I was in Form 2 (and now I wonder where she is)

I am the guy who was ditched by another perfectly fine specimen when I was in Form 3 (and waited, hoped, and prayed that one day she'll accept my approaches, only to find out that she was in love with someone else after waiting for 1-and-a-half years' later)

I am the guy who vowed to not get a girlfriend and focus on my studies until I finished Form 5 but started dating in February of that year itself.

I am the guy who got stuck to the same girl since 1998, and still loving it.

I am the guy who got to study in the same town/city as his girlfriend from 1998 until both of us graduated. (We moved from Sandakan, to Kota Kinabalu, to Nilai, to Subang and almost to UK)

I am the guy who never bought my girlfrend flowers before. (Hangs head in shame, but I do have something planned...)

I am the guy who bought my girlfriend something totally expensive, and totally useless as her very first birthday gift. (Until now, she's never put that set of earings on because it doesn't look good on her)

I am the guy who studied Accounting because my Momma said so...

I am the guy who excelled in English for as long as I can remember.

I am the guy who is tired of all this I am business.

I am the guy who is still doing too much.

I am the guy who constantly needs more time.

I am the guy who puts up with his friends stupid request because he has to.

I am tired of all this.

I am not 'The Great I AM'.

2 Comments:

Blogger Gab said...

happened to chance upon ur blog, nevertheless..it's like a revelation abt urself..*wink*

cheers to life.

September 25, 2005 10:54 pm  
Blogger SaDdNesZ.jc said...

gab: Pleasure to be of service... And do try to blog regularly... :)

September 26, 2005 10:29 am  

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